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AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS, 



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VEESE AND PEOSE. 



BY 



HUGH CRAIG, 

MERCHANT, KILMARNOCK, 



u Our true intent is, all for your delight." 



KILMARNOCK : 
PUBLISHED BY JAMES M'KIE. 



MDCCCLVI. 



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GIFT 
CSOLo JAMES S. CHILOU 
"^*w JULY 26, 1944 



aye: printed at the advextiser office. 



CONTENTS. 



Dedication to the Eight Honourable Archibald 
William Earl of Eglinton and Winton, K.T., 
Lord-Lieutenant of the County of Ayr, 
Preface, ...... 

Tallyho, ...... 13 

Admirable Lesson to the People of Ayrshire, . 16 
Sources of Enjoyment to the People of Ayrshire, . 18 
British Resources, . . . . .21 

To the People of Ayrshire, . . . .23 

Past, Present, and Future, . . .26 

To the People of Ayrshire, . . . .31 

Eighteen Hundred and Fifty-Four, . . 33 

Ode to a Mouse in my Bed-Boom, . • 35 

A Fox-Hunt from Eeal Life in Ayrshire, . . 37 

Address to an Ayrshire Elver, . . .41 

Spring, . . • • . .45 

Mental Eamble, . . . . .46 

Eamble on Dundonald Hill, . . .48 

Eesumed Dundonald Eamble, . . .51 

Ode to Queen Victoria, . . . .54 

To the People of Ayrshire. (Envy), . . 57 

An Humble Prayer, . . . .58 

Ode to the Shower, . . . .61 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE 

Ode to the Sun, . . . • .62 

Eespectful Admonition against attending M'Whee- 

lan's Execution for Murder, • . .64 

Farewell Address to the Year Eighteen Hundred and 

Forty-Eight, • . . . - 66 

Birth-Day Song in Honour of Burns, . . 68 

Spring, . . . . . .69 

Ode to the Queen, . . , . .71 

Grateful Address to Miss T , for her season- 
able gift of a pair of Stockings, knitted by her 
own hand, . . . . . 72 

Grrief Undisguised — a Family Piece, . • 73 

To the People of Ayrshire. (Coming Harvest), . 74 
Ode to Autumn, . . . . .76 

To the People of Ayrshire. (Selfishness), • . 78 

A Hint to the People of Ayrshire, . . .79 

Attraction, . . • . , .80 

Ode to the year Eighteen Hundred and Forty-Nine, 81 
Birth-Day Address to Robert Burns, . . 84 

Farewell Address to the Year Eighteen Hundred and 
Fifty, as concluding the First Half of the Nine- 
teenth Century, . . . .85 

Mysteries of a Molehill, . . . .89 

Autumn of Eighteen Hundred and Fifty-Two, . 90 
Astonishing Discoveries, . . . .91 

Meditation, . . . . . .92 

A Conceit. Eighteen Hundred and Fifty-Two, . 94 
To the People of Ayrshire. (The Spirit of Adver- 
tising), . . . . . .95 

Ode to the Frost, . . . . .96 



CONTENTS. 



The Noble Game, . . . . 97 

Month of March, . . . . 99 

Wonders, ...... 101 

Hopes, . . . . . .102 

Pity, . . . . . .103 

War, . . . . . .105 

To the Juveniles of Ayrshire. (The Great Rebel- 
lion, PartL), . . . .106 

The Great Rebellion. (Part II.), . . .110 

The Shearer's Address to the Shower, . . 115 

Ode to Miss M. Cunningham, Prisoner in Tuscany 

for Propagating " the Truth," . .115 

October, ...... 117 

Despair, ...... 118 

Hint to Farmers. (The Newspaper), . . 119 

Patriotic Fund, . . . . .121 

Lament for Colonel Blair, M.P., . . .124 

To the People of Ayrshire. (The New Year), . 125 
Rural Liberty. (Song), . . . .126 

Coronation Ode to His Most Excellent Majesty 

George IV., 128 

Lyric Ode, . . . . . . 130 

Ode to my Parlour Fire, . . . . 131 

Ode to Cecilia, . . . . .132 

A Fragment, . . . . .132 

A Canadian Song. (Jolly Bushmen), . . 133 

A Sad Prophecy, ..... 135 

Well-Meant Hints to the Want-Feeling Tradesman, 136 
Lecture on the Minor Poets, . . . 141 

Ode to Fiction, . . . . .154 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE 

Consistency, . 155 

Philosophical Musings, .... 155 

On Sally, 161 

Natural History. (The Cuckoo), . . .163 

To Eliza, 165 

Hints on the Worth of Life, . . . 167 

On Janet, ...... 170 

Burns's Eesponse to his Birth-Day Address. (Page 

84), 171 

Pure Hypocrisy, ..... 173 

To Miss M H , . . . 177 

Fatal Sabbath Desecration, . . 179 

Confession of the Year Eighteen Hundred and Fifty- 
Five, . . . . . .182 

To the Eeader, . . . . . 184 

Dirge, . . . . . .187 



ZDEZDXO-A-TIOIsr- 



TO 

THE RIGHT HONOURABLE 
AKCHTBAU) WILLIAM, 

EAEL OF EGLINION AND WINTON, IX; 
EovXf'-Hteutenant Gf fljs C0tmtg nf 9fir« 



My Lord, 

AS showers descending from the sky 
Tlie rills and rivulets supply, 
And these, in turn, their waters lend 
To streams that 'neath our navies bend, 
Whose ample waters slowly sweep 
Into the ocean's trackless deep ; 
So my long life just represents 
One scene of little incidents. 

To tell of joys, griefs, hopes, and fears, 
In fifty tedious, toiling years — 



DEDICATION. 



Of boyhood's sports, and manhood's feats, 
Of love's delight, and love's regrets, 
Of flowing wealth and empty purse 
(Than which few things on earth are worse), 
Of all that I have done and suffered — 
A humbler hist'ry can't be offered. 
To scan it o'er would be a hardship ; 
Therefore I wont annoy your Lordship, 
But, with your Lordship's kind permission, 
I do with frankness make confession, 
That, e'er since I could read or write, 
Poetic lore was my delight ; 
And though no lofty flights have aimed, 
And oft for dulness may be blam'd, 
Still, two great points I've kept in view — 
Man's pleasure and improvement, too — 
With home-truths in attractive dress, 
To add to mankind's happiness. 

Already bright, your Lordship's name, 
Emblazoned on the scroll of fame, 
Requires no poet's lay to raise it; 
I shall not then attempt to praise it; 
But would most humbly beg to state, 
That, whilst this Book I dedicate, 



DEDICATION. 



My Lord, to you — 'tis not because 
I bow for patronage, and applause 
(Which, though of lasting value may be, 
Are not the objects now that sway me) ; 
But high esteem, and veneration, 
Warm gratitude, and admiration, 
Inspire my soul with homage meet, 
To lay my Volume at your feet. 

My gift accept most noble friend : 
Kindly may Heaven your life defend, 
And grant that your illustrious line 
In Britain's latest annals shine ; 
And each succeeding Chief maintain 
Like yours — a splendid, patriotic reign. 

I have the honour to be, 
My Lord, 

Your Lordship's 

Humble and obliged 
Servant, 

HUGH CRAIG. 

Wallace Bane, 
KilmarnocJc, 15th February, 1856. 



PREFACE. 



After many years of observation, experience, 
and enjoyment, I have come to the distinct 
conclusion that mental cultivation and moral 
refinement give a zest which nothing else 
can give to everything around us which offers 
to contribute to our gratification ; and that 
nothing exists in the universe which may not 
add something to the happiness of the ex- 
panded soul of man. When I look back to 
my infancy, and realize the era at which my 
parents' features became recognisable ; to my 
childhood's rambles and discoveries in the 
barn-yard and kitchen-garden ; to my subse- 
quent exploring adventures in the world as a 
school-boy, and compare the little, feeble, 
ignorant being I then was, to what I now 
am — (humble, very humble though I be) — 
I am forced to exclaim with unaffected gra- 
titude, "What a wonder am I to myself!" 
Nor is this expansion of human intellect 



PREFACE. 



rare : it is the invariable result of mental ex- 
ertion. And as in no period of the world's 
history have the treasures of knowledge been 
so completely unlocked as in the present age, 
so thousands upon thousands of my fellow- 
countrymen, much higher advanced in their 
elevated career than I am, would, most wil- 
lingly and unanimously, confirm my excla- 
mation from their own individual experience. 
What an immeasurable distance is there be- 
tween the infant of a day and the man whose 
mind scans unbounded space and its count- 
less variety of suns, stars, and systems ! "Who 
looks back into a never-begun, and forward 
to a never-ending lapse of duration ! Who 
examines and analyses the globe on which 
we dwell, and turns all its materials to his 
use ; subdues and compels all other creatures 
upon its surface to serve him ; and forces even 
fire and vapour, winds and seas, to promote 
his purposes ! And who, after all, with the 
most intense adoration, humbly acknow- 
ledges the great source of ail his sublime 
and wonderful attainments ! 

But whilst I feel bound in duty thus far 



PREFACE. 



to assert my views of the innate dignity of 
our nature, in opposition to contrary opinions, 
I nevertheless cannot anticipate an early 
period when extensive knowledge and compar- 
ative excellence shall generally be acquired 
by the universal human family. The princi- 
pal obstacles to this blissful consummation 
are at present so formidable, that I gladly 
turn to the more hopeful prospect of attain- 
able excellence in our little circle of Scot- 
tish society. 

It is a self-evident proposition that the 
means for mental cultivation must be fur- 
nished, and a desire to apply them must ex- 
ist, before any improvement is effected. Now 
we have the means of instruction in every 
branch of Literature, Science, and Art, in- 
conceivably abundant, and of easy access ; 
but the craving appetite of curiosity (by 
which alone a participation in their enjoy- 
ment can be obtained) is as yet feebly and 
narrowly developed, and far from being so 
vigorously encouraged as it ought to be by 
those who have the means of exciting it at 
their disposal. Truths of every class must 



PREFACE. 



now be exhibited in the most lively., amus- 
ing, and attractive colours, in order to induce 
our great industrial community (who need 
repose amidst toil) to devote even the small- 
est portion of their unemployed hours to 
mental exertion and expansive meditations. 
Hence the absolute necessity of novelty, in- 
genuity, condensation, variety, and anima- 
tion in all lectures, sermons, and publications 
intended for general benefit. 

In accordance with these principles I pub- 
lish this new and greatly variegated Volume, 
hoping that it may gratify mental craving, 
guide every-day life, improve social inter- 
course, and aid in the gradual elevation of 
posterity. Mankind are all thirsting after 
pleasure, and striving to avoid pain. They 
try every stratagem, and hunt in every di- 
rection after happiness. If my Aspirations 
should in some degree contribute to the pro- 
motion of the pure and lasting enjoyment of 
a small section of the great family of rational 
beings to which I belong, then will the grand 
object which I contemplated by their publi- 
cation be fully accomplished. 



PREFACE. 



To the kindness of my numerous Subscrib- 
ers am I indebted for the encouragement 
which led to the appearance of this volume. 
I have never liked a large book with little in 
it, and therefore caused the printer to make 
mine as compact as might be consistent with 
perspicuity — to make it, in fact, a Pocket 
Companion. Occasional allusion to Busi- 
ness, interspersed throughout the Work, 
cannot, I am sure, give offence to any one. 
British prosperity — British wealth — British 
colonies — British supremacy — have their ori- 
gin chiefly in commercial enterprise ; and it 
has been my happy lot to live to see and ex- 
perience a most unprecedented social in- 
fluence progressively bringing into close 
and unreserved friendship the Aristocracy — 
the Merchants — the Agriculturists — and the 
Manufacturers of my country. 

HUGH CRAIG. 



Wallace Bane, 
18th February, 1856. 



NOTE. 

The dates of many of the following pieces are given, in order to 
enable those who feel curiosity on the subject, to compare the effu- 
sions of youthful manhood with those of hoary-headed age. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



TALLY-HO ! 

Field Sports have, for thousands of years, been 
considered as incomparably superior to in-door 
amusements— -as manly vigour is to degenerate effemi- 
nacy. Indeed, were the human family precluded 
from enjoying the invigorating exercises which the 
labours of agriculture, the management of flocks, 
and the cultivation of fruits and flowers afford ; or 
prevented from participating in the exciting struggles, 
the thrilling dangers, the quivering chances, which 
Eacing, Hunting, Shooting, Fishing, Curling, and 
Bowling furnish — Beauty, Health, Strength, Mind, 
must speedily decay, and total annihilation close 
their career, after the lingerings of a few feeble gene- 
rations. Can there, for example, be anything more 
conducive to the full development of courage and its 
kindred virtues, than a modern Fox-Hunt ? 

See with what precision, in spite of wind and rain, 
and distance, and the charms of balmy sleep, the 



14 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

meet takes place. See how systematically the hounds 
thread the mazes of the entangled cover. Mark how 
craftily and nimbly Reynard steals away, skulking 
behind the whins and the hillocks for concealment 
as he goes. Mark that prince of dogs which first 
gave tongue, and now takes the lead — and that couple 
near him, and that jolly brown-and- white fellow at 
their heels. How magnificently they run! The fox 
can't live a mile at that pace, Can't he ? He'll take 
them ten, and no mistake. 

Away, away, away, with whirlwind speed, fox, 
hounds, and sportsmen are gone ! What a sight for 
Ayrshire ! What a galaxy of red coats, splendidly 
mounted, going at full speed over hedge, ditch, brook, 
gate, and wall, for miles together without a check or 
accident ! — the foremost in ecstacy with their posi- 
tion in the chase ; the next equally delighted because 
so little behind, and the rear ranks luxuriating in 
the comfortable condition of the smashed fences, and 
the pleasing hope that Reynard will compassionately 
make a double in their favour. But is this pace to 
last ? Yes ; and telling fast. Where is the fiery, 
foaming black, which scorned the sod at starting ? 
Where the bright bay, with white legs, which sprang 
three feet higher than necessary over the first fence ? 
Where our friend with mustachios and his boasted 
steeple-chaser ? Where he on the chesnut who al- 
ways led at Melton ? Where the ruddy youth on the 
Highland pony ? Just at our heels ; but the others 
are nowhere. But here's a real rasper a head. Will 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 15 

you lead over ? Prefer to follow, if you please. Come 
along, my good horse ; that's it — all right. Deepish 
drop on this side, sir ! Are you coming ? Can't. 
Then good bye. Silent musings for two miles. New 
company arrives. Capital run, sir ! Glorious ! ! Select 
party now, eh ? Yes, getting pretty unanimous. But 
Keynard does make a ring to accommodate the field, 
and to shake off the closing embraces of his affec- 
tionate followers, and now what a panorama of ex- 
citement is displayed ! The fox makes a push ; the 
hounds make a rush; and bridles, spurs, whips, 
horses, and riders, all simultaneously exhibit symp- 
toms of renewed energy. The finish is momentarily 
expected ; but no : that irregular mass of thorns in 
the gateway so entangled his pursuers, that the fox 
gains half a field of grace. The disappointed hounds, 
now roused to reckless vengeance, howl with fury ; 
and all the scattered sportsmen converge their rapid 
movements towards a shrub covered rocky knoll, 
whether the fox seems steering for safety ; and there 
he does arrive in good time to be killed in a crevice, 
and thus escape the affront of a public execution. 
Wasn't the last the finest burst in the chase ? Ay ; 
incomparably so ! — all well up, all highly gratified ! 

January, 1843. 



16 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



ADMIRABLE LESSON TO THE PEOPLE OF 
AYRSHIRE. 

'Tis long since Truth was first by Fable taught, 
And beast and bird had speech with Wisdom fraught ; 
Fish, reptile, insect too, display'd great wit, 
While trees, grass, flowers, to teach our race were fit. 
Ev'n rocks, streams, seas, rain, snow, and boist'rous 

wind 
Had each a friendly lesson for mankind ; 
And still the}" all are busy as of yore 
To strew instruction from their ample store. 
But who with ear acute can catch their speech ? 
Who can unveil the mystic truths they teach ? 
Who can command them to rebuke a friend 
In stern yet shVry tones that wont offend ? 
Or check the havoc of blood-thirsty sword 
Uplifted by the ire of tyrant lord ? 
Or win the tender feelings of the fair 
When Lover's heart is writhing in despair ? 
Who but the Poet ? none but he is able 
Clearly to teach by speechless thing or fable. 

Pray hear a lesson from a chaffinch's nest, 
Close to my house on pear-tree twig is press'd. 
First with green moss the outer-works are laid, 
And firmly fixed within the leafy shade ; 
Then round and round with downy feathers lin'd, 
That eggs and young sufficient heat may find. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 17 

Day after day a mottl'd egg is dropp'd — 
When numbering four all farther increase stopp'd. 
Now patient incubation, night and day, 
Cools wanton sports, and tames all mirthful play. 
Alternate birds, with timid, panting breast 
And jealous eye, are seen to hatch the nest. 
On-rolling time rewards their anxious care 
With lively, hopeful offspring, plump and bare. 
What fond affections now the parents warm, 
To feed their young, and shelter them from harm ! 
To scour the trees they haste on quivering wing, 
And loads of caterpillars homewards bring ; 
The young with open beak and infant cries 
Eeceive with joy the nourishing supplies. 
Insatiate app'tite makes them pant for more, 
And bounteous Nature yields a plenteous store. 
Hour after hour the brood increase in size, 
(The prowling cat delights in such a prize). 
Their feathers now a rapid growth display, 
And bye and bye they swell in plumage gay. 
At last the morn, the happy morn, has come, 
When parents wish the young to leave their home ; 
The pair continuous flutter round and round, 
Then hop, and peck, and chatter on the ground. 
And doubtless tell their offspring by their talk — 
" You easily may fly — if not, may walk." 
The thrilling moment comes, when, off they spring, 
On strong and beauteous, though unessay'd, wing; 
Quickly to distant lofty trees they're led 
Safely to roost, and be with plenty fed ; 



18 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

To win the praise of all who them behold 
With ruby necks and pinions dipp'd in gold; 
And in a night of vocal joy and love 
To animate, delight, and charm the grove. 

Now learn ye parents, who have wealth to spare, 
Who for your children feel the tend'rest care ! 
Would ye preserve them from the world's neglect, 
Gain for them friendship, honour, and respect ? 
Stamp them for admiration and applause, 
As patriots who revere their country's laws, 
Promote its weal in peace — in war defend — 
Make mankind bless their glorious aim and end. 
Then teach their minds to lofty themes f aspire, 
And clothe them always in the best attire. 

June 10, 1848. 



SOURCES OF ENJOYMENT TO THE 
PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

My Muse ascend, and in thy ardent flight 
Sing of those charms which yield mankind delight ! 
In glowing numbers tell how coming day, 
On radiant wing, gives hope its happy play ; 
How eager Husbandman with glist'ning eyes, 
And eastward glance, with joy surveys the skies ; 
Sudden he calls his toil-worn men and maids, 
Who stir reluctant from the Morphean shades ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 19 

To each in haste the long-day's task assigns, 

And skilful age with active youth combines : 

To plough, to sow — the crumbling harrow drive, 

From weedy soil the tangled roots to rive, 

The straight lin'd drill to draw with steady aim, 

(A careless bend obscures the ploughman's fame) 

To scatter neatly the perfurrid manure, 

Slice down the succ'lent root with " eye" secure, 

With measur'd stride and stooping care to drop 

The shapeless parents of a plenteous crop ; 

With cloven drill enfold the treasur'd seed, 

And scare-crows raise to thwart the raven's greed. 

On wings of joy the Farmer's fancy soars 

To well cramm'd barn, and wide out-bursting stores ; 

Then gladly master, men, and maidens close 

The day's hard labour, and resume repose. 

What source of joy the Mariner obtains, 
Who, tempest-toss'd, at last the haven gains ! 
His wealth secure, — his barque at anchor safe, 
W T ell shelter'd from the lash of turbid wave ; 
Sweet joys his loving wife's warm bosom swell, 
And joy inspires the tales his children tell. 

How does the heart of youthful Poet glow, 
When from his quill the chiming numbers flow ! 
Rude tho' at first may sound his muse's strain, 
Miltonic fame he proudly hopes to gain. 
What joys enwrap the youthful artist's heart 
When living features from his canvass start ! 



20 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

A Raphael, Hogarth, Reynolds ! who can tell 
But all the three combined he may excel ? 
How does the miser's heart beat when he's told 
That there are thousands added to his gold ! 
How loud the cheers from Bacchanalians soar, 
When well-fill'd bowl and glass inspire the roar ! 

Mark with what ecstacy the Sportsman cries, 
" Away ! away ! see how old Reynard flies ! 
" Ten miles at least he'll take us o'er the heath, 
" And I for one shall be in at the Death." 

Lovers, proverbial for their mutual joy, 
May on each other all their thoughts employ ; 
But shall my muse attempt the lofty flight 
To tell in language what's supreme delight ? 
Sooner shall she encompass boundless space, 
Than Love's sweet endless raptures fully trace. 
But there's a source of joy to all mankind, 
To high — to low — to rich nor poor confin'd — 
The best, the worst, the coward, and the brave, 
The tyrant ruler, and the trembling slave, 
Each may partake of: — so may Britain's Queen, 
Or wildest savage in the desert seen : 
Man, woman, child — the youth, and hoary sire, 
For this one source of pleasure have desire. 
And what is it ? The truth must be confess'd, 
To be well-cloth'd, and elegantly-dress'd. 

May 15, 1818. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 21 



BRITISH RESOURCES. 

In no age or country have mental energy and ac- 
tivity been more conspicuously displayed and re- 
warded than in the British Empire during the last 
fifty years. What but the unbending magnanimity 
and inconceivable skill and foresight of our States- 
men and Warriors, backed by the enthusiastic 
patriotism of all classes of the inhabitants, could 
have counteracted and defeated inpending invasions 
of the most formidable character, and reduced to 
quietness and civility the most powerful, crafty, and 
malicious enemies whom Britons ever encountered ? 
What but the patient industry, astonishing inge- 
nuity, and unbounded scientific investigations of the 
people in general, could have kept the bonds of 
Society from bursting asunder under distressing 
famine, ravaging pestilence, ruined commerce, want 
of employment, oppressive taxation, and the thou- 
sand ills that life is heir to ? Is it not as remarkable 
as it is praiseworthy in the British character, that 
calamities, misfortunes, disasters, or evils of any 
kind — whether national or personal— public or pri- 
vate, are, instantly as they occur, ameliorated, 
redressed, or rectified, and their future recurrence 
prevented or postponed ; and that for every conceiv- 
able want or demand, somebody is ready to suggest 
or provide an immediate supply ? Does our Go- 
vernment seem in a dilemma as to the safest and 



22 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

most successful means of extricating the nation out 
of its present deplorable Monetary crisis ? then ten 
thousand ardent spirits proffer my Lord John Rus- 
sell, and both Houses of Parliament, their gratuitous 
and infallible schemes. Does the cry of invasion 
resound throughout our Isle, because that old, 
crafty, ambitious tyrant Louis Philippe has forti- 
fied Paris to keep it in bondage, and raised a 
monstrous army to keep his dynasty on the throne 
— and to crush for ever — if he can — the aspira- 
tions of France for constitutional liberty? then is 
this alarm promptly responded to by the most em- 
phatic propositions for effectual resistance. From the 
Great Iron Duke, down to the humblest pot-o'-beer- 
Politician — all have their projects of defence concoct- 
ed — all are preparing to meet and repel the coming 
foe. Does the length and breadth of the land require 
railways to facilitate and cheapen travelling and 
traffic ? A few short years elapse, and the energetic 
minds and willing hands of our countrymen bring 
Cornwall and Caithness — 800 miles separate — with- 
in twenty-four hours easy travelling of each other ; 
whilst every intermediate city, town, village, and dis- 
trict has ample railway accommodation forced upon 
it, by the vigilance of competing companies. Is it 
deemed necessary for the ends of public justice and 
safety, as well as for private protection and prosperi- 
ty, that knowledge be transmitted with the velocity 
of a sunbeam ? then the Electric Telegraph can do 
it! Is some Leviathan steam-ship run ashore and 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 23 

deeply embedded in the sandy beach ? then, scores of 
feasible plans for floating it are instantly afloat. Are 
bodily accidents of the most frightful nature occur- 
ing in rapid succession, and some amelioration to the 
excruciating pains of amputation imploringly de- 
manded ? then, Chloroform is at hand to divest the 
dissecting-knife of all its appalling horrors. Do the 
people of Ayrshire require Clothing of any descrip- 
tion ? then, I am able and willing to supply them. 

January 12, 1848. 



TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

The Spring, tho' late, has come at last, 

And mildly breathes the Western blast; 

And tho' the brows of Goatfell show 

A spotless cap of purest snow, 

Yet warmth, diffused by sunny rays, 

Cheers up the songster's am'rous lays, 

Stirs into life the insect races, 

And gilds the mead with Flora's graces. 

The nibb'ling lambs get fresh Spring clover, 

The echoes ring with fretful plover, 

The crows wheel clam'rous 'mang the trees, 

Expanding buds attract the bees ; 

The lav'rock's soaring song and flight 

Affords the school-boy sweet delight, 

As trudging o'er the field he goes 

Forgetting lessons, tasks, and all his other woes. 



24 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

And should not man, arous'd by Spring, 
Away his wintry garments fling, 
Put on what's new, and fresh, and gay, 
And brisker look, with brightening day ? 
Should not the Milk-maid — sonsy hizzy — 
Whom crowded byres have kept so busy, 
Cast by her apron, whilst the cows 
Are browsing on yon verdant knowes, 
And trip to Killie — call and look at 
Braw claes to suit her e'e and pocket ? 
The thrifty, cleanly Countra Wife, 
Wha's store of cash is seldom rife, 
May soon fin' out whar she can dead 
Her rosy bairns frae heel to head, 
In summer garb, baith guid and cheap, 
Wi' colours proof 'gainst freething saep. 
The crouse auld Carl — threescore and ten, 
Wha never thinks his days will en', 
May, in new Great Coat, trig and warm, 
For scores o' years be snug frae harm. 
But whilst exhorting every class 
To catch the seasons as they pass, 
And aye wi' earnest aim and study 
Keep handsome deeding on the body, 
I'd venture to gie soun' advice 
To young anes wha're resolved to splice : 
Here Brides the richest silks may find, 
And shawls to please the ficklest mind — ■ 
Blankets, Ticks, Curtains, Counterpanes, 
Sheets, Linens, Muslins, Flannels, Jeans, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 25 

Rare Parasols the cheeks to screen, 

Umbrellas to keep dry and bein, 

Wi' every nicknack, may adorn 

The prettiest maiden e'er was born. 

Here Bridegrooms wedding coats may buy. 

Of Saxon wool, and stainless dye, 

Vests, sparkling bright with mingled rays, 

Like butterfly in noontide blaze, 

Trowsers of patterns fresh frae France, 

Ae new ane, ca'd " The Royal Dance." 

Hats, glossy, durable, and light, 

(Might pass for mirrors, they're so bright). 

But what, need I attempt to tell 

What Ayrshire folks may see theirsel' ? 

So all who like may come and try, 

And should I please you well — then, Buy ; 

If not, in Killie open doors 

For sale of Clothes there are some scores. 

But this I confidently say, 

Gie my Big Warehousefu' fair play, 

And I'll lay gainst your groat a guinea, 

I'm cheaper, better, far than any ; 

And though the boast may raise a laugh, 

No other shop can show you half. 

April 12, 1848. 



26 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE. 

When" man at first in Paradise appeared, 
He lived on fruits which Nature's hand had reared ; 
And naked stalked, as gaily and as glad 
As those who now in silken robes are clad. 
But when to Heaven's high will he gave offence, 
By breaking one plain rule of Temperance, 
Driven forth he was to plough, and hunt for game, 
To feed his body, and conceal his shame. 

Next for himself and wife he shelter rears 
Of branches, which he from the forest tears, 
Daily exerting all his skill and care 
To raise a mansion fit for Adam's heir ; 
And thus, by slow degrees, provides with pain 
For the arrival of his first-born — Cain. 
This crusty child could scarcely walk and speak, 
When roused he was by brother Abel's squeak. 
Both grow to manhood ! Abel learned to keep, 
To tame, to feed, to foster flocks of sheep. 
Cain, less active, but more fit for toil, 
Ploughs, sows, and reaps, on Eden's fertile soil. 
Their direful feud, which brought on Cain a curse, 
I cannot palliate, neither shall make worse. 
With haste the murd'rer left the scene of strife, 
And, gath'ring wealth, lived happy with his wife. 
Increase of family and fruits of tillage, 
Caus'd him to swell his farm-stead to a village, — 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 27 

Then to a town — and, bye-and-bye, a city, 

Nam'd for his son (which doubtless was thought 

witty). 
Cain, though cruel, well deserves respect, 
Because he was the first great architect. 

Refinement then began her brilliant reign — 
Science by Jubal, — Arts by Tubalcain : 
And Navigation gloriously commences 
Just when the world is drowned for its offences. 

To Navigation what a debt is due ! 
Without it Britain's comforts would be few ! 
Without it mankind would have been confin'd 
To their first tract which seas and rivers bind ; 
Without it one vast Hemisphere were waste, 
And all the isles within the ocean plac'd. 

Fell was the swoop the dreadful deluge made — 
Of such another men became afraid, 
Come when it might they anxiously prepared 
To shun the fate old Noah's kinsmen shared ; 
Combining strength and skill they built a tower, 
Whose monstrous ruins stand until this hour, 
To which when earth was drown'd they might retreat, 
And there the vengeance which they fear'd defeat. 
But justice came in an unlook'd for way, 
And forc'd them wide o'er all the world to stray. 
Some to the east their devious journey steer, 
And people plains which Indian rivers cheer. 



28 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

More eastward still his course bent wand'ring man, 

Till empires rose in China and Japan. 

In all directions, south, and west, and north, 

The infant swarms of mankind venture forth, 

And plough, and sow, and reap, and feed their 

flocks, 
Mould into towns and temples stubborn rocks, 
Practise and perfect all the arts they bring, 
While from their wants and wishes others spring. 
Arts, in due time, by Sciences were nourished, 
And soon the Poet and Historian flourished ; 
Music and Painting, too, display their charms, 
And Sculpture into life the marble warms. 
Commerce, awakening, spreads her ample sails, 
Bends to her aid the currents, tides, and gales, 
Courts into kindly traffic hostile shores, 
Collects and scatters o'er all the world her stores. 

Age after age rolls on. In every age 
Tribes against tribes in bloody strife engage ; 
And strange to us, who live in peace, it seems, 
Religion quench'd not War with her pacific beams. 
'Twas Ignorance with Hate, that, hand in hand, 
Led into battle each ferocious band ; 
But Knowledge now, by powers before unknown, 
Raises Truth's sceptre, which the world must own. 
Truth, Love, and Zeal, shall ne'er their efforts cease, 
Till mankind cherish universal peace. 
The Printing Press soon by its influence shall 
Crush every sword — melt every cannon-ball, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 29 

Cement by friendship those who once were foes, 
And open mankind's eyes to "War's sad woes, 
The savage mind raise to the sage's state, 
And slave and serf to Freedom elevate. 

But if severer work be wanted still, 
The faithful Press obeys Truth's sovereign will, 
And, cheerfully and promptly, yields consent 
Temp'rance to cherish — Drunkenness prevent. 

Intoxication ! had'st thou had thy sway 
O'er mankind's doings and their destiny, 
No Art, — no Science ever had been tried, 
But lower far then brutes they'd lived and died ; 
No Music but the Drunkard's groan and snore ; 
No Painting, but the stains of Drunkard's gore ; 
No Statuary but the impress he leaves, 
When mud his staggering nerveless frame receives : 
No tilling of the ground, I should suppose, 
Except when plow'd by his descending nose. 
By him no house, no town, no temple's reared — 
No home he needs ; — by him no God is feared. 
Should he the sweets of Poetry desire, 
He'll scrawl them with spread fingers in the mire. 
The knowledge most congenial to his mind, 
Is to the stupifying draught confined ; 
And all his love concentrates in the bowl, 
"Which drowns his reason, and destroys his soul. 
Commercial pursuits, to increase his riches, 
Chiefly consists in navigating ditches. 



30 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Of all historic records he needs none, 
Except tnis epitaph upon a stone :— • 
" Here hurled lie, in peace to rot, 
" The ruins of a wretched sot" 

PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE : 

You will observe that the above Poem delineates, 
though imperfectly, the progress towards civilisation 
and happiness which mankind have already made, 
and are likely yet to make ; and likewise what would 
be the effect of general or individual drunkenness. 
But as there are some minds susceptible of deep and 
lasting impressions from arithmetic, who are invul- 
nerable to the shafts of satire, or the thunderbolts of 
eloquence, I subjoin a statement of the manner in 
which a Drunkard may easily step out of the Slough 
of Despond, assume the garb of a gentleman, and 
become a respectable member of society. 

By saving One Penny a day for a year (365 days), 
a good new Superfine Coat may be procured — save 
ljd. and you get a Pair of excellent Trousers along 
with it — save 2d. and you complete the suit, and get 
a nice Stuff Hat besides. Save 2|d. a day and you 
add to your Sunday's dress a fine Linen Shirt — a 
stout wearing one — a rich Silk Handkerchief, and a 
pair of fine Lamb's Wool Stockings. Save 3d. and 
an Every-day suit of good Moleskin completes your 
wardrobe, all ready-made to your measure. 

Where is the Drunkard who does not swallow 
every day more than 3d. worth of unnecessary liquor ? 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 31 

Leave the pence with me, and you shall have all the 
useful articles I have enumerated, and fewer head- 
aches than hitherto. 

loth Feb., 1843. 



TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

" All nature is but art, unknown to thee ; 
All chance, direction, which thou can'st not see ; 
All discord, harmony, not understood, 
All partial evil, universal good. 
And spite of pride, in erring reason's spite, 
One truth is clear, ' Whatever is is right.' "—Pope. 

I cannot allow the great events which have con- 
vulsed the Continent of Europe since the 24th day 
of February to glide away into the ocean of eternity 
without some remarks. The French Revolution is 
a great event, fraught with tremendous consequences. 
I am truly glad that it has driven the old tyrant, 
Louis Philippe, and the dynasty he was going to 
establish by a military despotism, out of France for 
ever. Although this Revolution must inevitably 
produce long-lasting disorder and misery amongst 
the very persons who accomplished it, its beneficial 
influences in shaking all the despotisms of the world, 
and introducing better systems of government, and 
thereby adding to the happiness of mankind, must 
be incalculably great. This Revolution has also 
read a most pathetic rebuke to our own constitu- 
tional rulers, which they, wrapped up in all the pomp 
and pride of place and power, are determined to re- 



32 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

sist. No alarming lessons from foreign allies, no 
honest remonstrances from friends at home, can 
effectually convince our Government and Legisla- 
ture that there are two monstrous evils involved in 
the mismanagement of our national affairs, directly 
tending to the most deplorable results. One of these 
is the enormously expensive manner in which the 
taxation of the empire is raised — costing more than 
seven millions of pounds sterling, or about a seventh 
part of the whole, to uplift the amount levied ! Durst 
any private establishment try such infamous extor- 
tion? The other evil is the disgracefully extrava- 
gant style in which all the higher and comparatively 
idle functionaries in the State and in the Church of 
England are paid out of the funds annually extracted 
from the industry of the people. 

For remedy, I speak not at present of any organic 
change in the Constitution — extension of the suffrage 
— vote by ballot — short parliaments — or any other 
unpalatable innovation — but simply and solely of 
economizing the resources of the country. This is a 
thing easily attainable without diminishing the effi- 
ciency of our national defences, provided our Mem- 
bers of Parliament and Her Majesty's advisers could 
be persuaded to undertake the task; but this they 
will not do, till some more terrible episode in the 
world's history than the progressing revolutions in 
Europe brings them to their senses. What particu- 
lar event, plot, or calamity shall arouse them from 
their present lethargy, I dare not and cannot venture 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 33 

to predict ; but come it may, long ere the time ex- 
pires during which our very liberal representatives 
have ordained the income-tax to continue : that tax 
which, in the manner levied, is a flagrant robbery of 
industry. 

It becomes the duty, then, of every patriot not to 
waste his strength and irritate his mind with idle 
clamours and vain petitions against the reckless and 
ruinous conduct of a deaf and inflexible Legislature 
and Executive, but to endeavour to ameliorate in every 
possible way the circumstances of all his fellow-coun- 
trymen with whom he is surrounded. 

28th March, 1848. 

TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

1854. 

This day another closing year 
Must in the world's archives appear, 
And future ages backward gaze 
Upon its scenes, with blame and praise. 
Our children, wond'ring, will enquire, 
Whence sprang calamity so dire, 
So unexpected, so intense, 
As War, appalling every sense, 
And havoc drive o'er peaceful man, 
Which last departed year began ? 

Historians well may blush to write 
The causes of this mortal fight. 



34 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Religion ! pure Religion's name, 
First fann'd the blood-absorbing flame; 
And Greek and Roman churches, both 
Against each other waxing wroth, 
Stirr'd up those dormant, envious spirits, 
Which each from ages past inherits, 
Rous'd Russia's mad ambitious hand 
To grasp a feebler neighbour's land, 
And in the name of Christian's Lord, 
Destroy the Turks by fire and sword ! 
And thus from less to more arose 
A strife which none foresees the close. 

Weep ! Britain weep ! Departed worth ! 
See thy best blood bedyes the earth ; 
Thy high-bred sons and gallant swains 
Enrich Crimea's barren plains : 
While vultures vile and beasts of prey 
Feast on their flesh as oft's they may. 

Weep ! Mother weep ! Thy darling son — 
Born, nursed, and reared by thee alone ; 
Thy soul's delight, thy hope, thy stay ; 
Wrapp'd in thine heart by night and day — 
Has gone to brave the Russian host, 
And now to thee for ever lost ! 

Weep ! Widow weep ! Thy husband's kiss 
No more endears connubial bliss ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 35 

No more with soothing look shall he 
Whisper away sad thoughts from thee ; 
No more thy babe, with parent's joy, 
Toss in the air, like feather'd toy, 
And catch and clasp him to his breast, 
Fit place for shelter and for rest. 
Thy heart may break — thy child may sigh— - 
Thy husband-hero has gone to die ! 

Weep ! Maiden weep ! That manly youth, 
To thee so full of love and truth : 
Hope of thy hope, joy of thy joy, 
Whose safe return thy prayers employ ! 
Relentless fate has laid him low, 
His far-away grave is a wreath of snow ! 

O War ! thou cruel horrid curse, 
Than which mankind have heir'd none worse, 
May Heaven command thy reign to cease, 
And nations all delight in peace. 

January 1st, 1855. 



ODE TO A MOUSE IN MY BED-ROOM. 

Noisy, little, restless pest 5 
Thou'rt a most unwelcome guest ; 
Why hast thou intruded here, 
Where thou feels and causes fear ? 



38 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



My sleepless "Wife distracted lies, 

" Oh! my dear" she screaming cries, 

" There's a mouse below our bed, 

" Oh ! I'm terribly afraid ! 

" Rise, rise, and try to catch it, 

" Bring a light, and I will watch it." 

Hopeless tho' I'm of success, 

Still my duty's not the less. 

Up I start — jump from my bed, 

O'er the room the gas light's shed ; 

Ev'ry crevice quick I search, 

Thou as quickly steals a march, 

Tho' with fury I advance, 

I ne'er of thee can get a glance. 

Chests of drawers, trunks and chairs, 

— Tho' they all should need repairs — 

Hastily are overset, 

Still no glimpse of thee I get. 

Every corner I explore, 

Whirl the carpet from the floor. 

My little faithful dog I call, 

Who whining scents the floor and wall ; 

Round and round the room he snorts, 

Tracing all thy late resorts. 

Tho' often tried, and tried in vain, 

Every spot he tries again ; 

No exertion he denies 

His nimble claws and piercing eyes ; 

And anxiously he wishes with 

Thy slender bones to whet his teeth. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 3? 

Yet thou art no where to be seen, 

Tho' doubtless ev'ry where has been. 

Thy dusky hue — thy rapid leap — 

Thy watchful eye — thy noiseless creep — 

Unite thy panting form to shield, 

And force us the pursuit to yield. 

As well we may the fairy watch, 

Or strive the whirling crane to catch ; 

As well to stop the shadow try 

Of cloud that flits athwart the sky ; 

Or snatch within our grasp the breeze 

That whistles 'mong the waving trees. 

Defeated — vexed — to bed I go, 

And bid my Foxy watch below. 

1834. 



A FOX-HUNT ; 

FROM REAL LIFE IN AYRSHIRE. 

Upon my pony t'other day, 
Down Irvine's bank I chanc'd to stray, 
Gazing on fields completely clear'd 
Of ev'ry kind of crop they'd rear'd ; 
And marking with delighted eye 
The shifting scen'ry of the sky, 
And fright'ning from their busy nibble, 
The feathery gleaners of the stubble. 
At length I reach'd that lovely place, 
Adorn'd with each arboreal grace — 



58 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Craig ! where there long sojourn'd together, 
A sister kind, a tender brother : 
The sister lives — the brother's dead, 
The poor heap'd blessings on his head ; — 
Here while I mus'd on bygone days, 
And moraliz'd on mankind's ways — 
How some have wealth and dread to spend it, 
How upon us'ry others lend it ; 
How some on pleasure mad and vain, 
Squander far more than they can gain ; — 
When, hark ! from the furze glen below, 
The rousing shout of Tally-ho\ 

Forth from the cover Reynard sprung, 
His tract with wide-mo uth'd music rung ; 
A score of lords and squires appear, 
Well mounted, following in the rear. 

See Reynard dart across the rill — 
See how he climbs the Ha' Barns hill — 
See how correctly every hound 
Traces his scent along the ground — 
And look how fearlessly each man 
Clears fence and field as fast's he can. 
I join'd the chase — I gain'd the height — ■ 
The fox now bends far to the right, 
Despising Thornton's shelter nigh, 
Resolved the blood and bone to try 
Of horse and hound, nor seems to dread 
Either their bottom or their speed. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 39 

Near Carmel Bank he turns again, 
And hurries north o'er Busby's plain ; 
Ascends the ridge which overlooks 
Gar-Reer, the ugliest of brooks. 
Lord Eglinton now takes his place 
As noble leader of the chase ; 
See how his fav'rite hunter springs 
O'er hedge and ditch, as if with wings : 
Nor slacks his pace, soft ground or hard, 
Ascends, descends, without regard. 
Up Thornlie-hill, now down the steep, 
Some dauntless sportsmen boldly sweep ; 
Alas ! but few descend the hollow, 
Three, only three, the chase dare follow, 
The sport has now become no jest ; 
A rasping fence detains the rest. 
The trio quick across Gar-Reer, 
Pursued their swift envied career; 
And straight as arrow shot with skill, 
Scour the demesne of Warwick-hill, 
And like the orb of day at night, 
Their red coats sink far out of sight 
In Warrick-vale. What course to steer 
Perplexes those behind Gar-Beer : 
Some scamper west, some scamper east, 
None dares the country take abreast, 
And, miles in error soon are found, 
Enquiring after fox and hound; 
Though borne by nag of little worth, 
I kept in view, and mov'd the fourth. 



40 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

The three bright sportsmen now appear, 
For Perceton straight their course to steer. 
The faithful hounds, compact together, 
Quite close ahead seem leading thither ; 
But on arriving at the height 
They northward bend, and vanish quite 
Amidst a range of lofty trees, 
Where crafty Reynard seeks for ease : 
No shelter here — off he must budge, 
And try his luck at Annick Lodge. 
Across the Irvine road with pride, 
And down the fields the trio ride ; 
Soon out of view again they sink, 
And glide adown clear Annick's brink. 
Emerging from the shady wood, 
They, plunging, pass the crystal flood, 
Convinc'd that e're the chase is over, 
Reynard must reach Eglinton cover, 
And find relief from all his pain, 
Within some hospitable drain. 



Hope to the fox her aid extended, 
And soon his frightful race is ended : 
A kind-mouth'd hole he reaches breathless, 
Proud, glad, and thankful to be skaithless, 
Th' huntsmen's bridles scarce need pulling, 
To stop each horse and rider's willing ; 
And as the trio — my Lord, Bill, Campbell, 
Had left their friends by brook and bramble, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 41 

They leave poor Keynard where he lay, 
To give them sport another day. 

November, 1839. 



ADDRESS TO AN AYRSHIRE RIVER. 

Gogo, thou fierce resistless mountain torrent, 
Thy name is still to Norway ears abhorrent ; 
On the smooth turf which hems thy rugged bed, 
My youthful steps and musings oft were led : 
Pleasure the body's movements sought and found" — 
The soul-excited scanned historic ground. 

How beautiful, Gogo, is thy course ! 

Far up the heath-clad moorland is thy source, 

Wimpling 'mong sedges, willows, rocks, and rushes, 

Then onward faster thy dark water gushes, 

Till o'er the mountain's brow — a giddy height — 

Thy dashing waves appear as crystal bright ! 

Now, what a scene — expansive, rich, sublime — 
Unequall'd in Italia's gorgeous clime ! 
See ancient Largs still glittering on the beach — 
See isles on isles as far 's the eye can reach — 
See Clyde, with arms outspread, embrace the sea, 
And dolphins (sometimes whales) besport in revelry. 

See Arran's lofty range bedeck'd with snow, 
And waving fields of yellow corn below ; 



42 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Cottages stud, like gems, the peaceful shore, 
Safe sheltered from Atlantic's dreadful roar ; 
See dismal wild Glen Sannox, dark as night, 
While yet the sun's meridian rays are bright ; 
And there stand u Cumbraes," twins by name and 

birth, 
But ah ! how different are their looks and worth ! 
The one, a barren unproductive rock, 
Where half-starved rabbits seem the grazier's stock ; 
The other, every crop which Scotia yields, 
Displays in clusters of well manured fields ; 
Whilst Milport bay a town of beauty shows, 
Where social life in high refinement glows. 
Bute's rugged hills and lonely dells are there, 
Where many an invalid shakes off despair ; 
And yonder shines great Edmund Kean's abode, 
Where oft he found relief from mental load ; 
While distant far Bencruachan appears, 
And great Ben Lomond rising o'er his peers. 

But time would fail to name — much more to trace — 
The wonders of this wide, this glorious space ; 
Return we, then, to thy neglected shore, 
And ask if history has aught in store ? 

Gogo, permit me from thy sparkling wave, 
My aching eyes and glowing brow to lave, 
That I may see, as thou saw on thy banks, 
A bloody fight 'twixt hostile, 'vengeful ranks. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



Full many hundred years are past and gone 

Since Haco's steel-clad warriors brightly shone 

On Largs's smooth, gravelly beach, and pitched their 

tent, 
On murderous feud, and cruel rapine bent. 
Already had success their darings crown'd. 
And hasty inroads ample plunder found ; 
Already had they, in the Bay of Ayr, 
With blade and brand spread death and dire despair. 

Already had they conquered all they met, — 
Now, Gogo, now, their star of hope must set ! 
See, on the height, upon thy bank arrayed, 
The chiefs and clans of Cunninghame displayed 5 
See with what courage every warrior stares 
Down on the foe, who such invasion dares ; 
And hear the solemn oath these patriots cry, 
" By Scotland's God we conquer or we die /" 

The sun no ray o'er Mistylaw had cast, 
When Scotland's trumpet rang the fatal blast; 
Haco's fierce troops, awaken'd by their scouts, 
Soon back defiance sent in deaf ning shouts, 
And quickly arming, march'd along the plain, 
Eyeing their mountain foes with proud disdain. 

Haco, in front, before his army rode — 
A gallant grey the warlike monarch strode ; 
Pawing the ground, the charger snorted wild, 
Fear in his eye, and trembling like a child ; 



44 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Fain would he oft have wheeled and borne away 
His royal master from portentous fray. 

A halt was ordered at the mountain's base — 
" Stand to your arms," cried Haco, " this the place 
" Where, in one hour, that motely host is slain, 
" And their heart's blood bedye this verdant 

plain ; 
" No fun'ral rites, brave warriors, pay the foe, 
" But ev'ry carcass in the river throw ; 
11 Down to the sea let wave on wave them sweep, 
" Fit food for sharks and monsters of the deep." 
While Echo yet this speech rung o'er thy banks, 
A shower of arrows thinn'd bold Haco's ranks, 
And, swift as mountain deer, adown the steep, 
The Scottish heroes on th' invaders leap, 
And man to man, with broadsword's thundering 

stroke, 
The foremost ranks in mad confusion broke — 
Reeling they fall — unable to retreat — 
Succeeding ranks soon shar'd their gory fate ; 
And long e'er Haco's vaunted hour is o'er, 
He and his crest-fallen warriors seek the shore, 
Quickly embark, and push their prows from land, 
And in " Thor's" name curse Gogo's direful strand. 

July 30th, 185L 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 45 



SPRING. 

Spring's genial heat again revives the earth, 
Calls myriad tribes of beings into birth, 
Bouses the latent life of plants and grains, 
And with an emerald robe adorns the plains. 

See how the Farmer, with the twilight gray, 
Briskly begins the labours of the day ; 
"With swinging flail the pearly oat-sheaves thrash, 
Or stooh by stook with ponderous engine smash. 
Quickly and clean the corn is in the sack, 
"While fragrant straw fills cow and horse's rack. 
This done, the smoking breakfast loads the table, 
"When each devours as much as he is able. 
Porridge—- (that dish divine, as Germans say,) — - 
At farmer's breakfast always leads the way ; 
Then ham, well season'd, or an herring salt, 
"With mashlam scone, and milk instead of malt : 
Far better food for Scotia's climate cold, 
Than Indian spices — worth their weight in gold. 
Next, to the plough the youths their horses chain, 
And eager strive as if a crown to gain ; 
For he who can in this jirst art excel, 
Shall hear admiring crowds his praises tell. 
The dinner hour arrives, when home they hie — 
No turtle-soup, white-bait, nor apple-pie 
Awaits — but rich substantial kail, 
Where great sirloin has wallow'd like a whale 



46 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

'Midst boiling foam, for two long hours at least, 
And now cut up supplies a glorious feast. 
With nags well corn'd, the youths again repair, 
To turn the soil with unabating care ; 
Whistling along, more happy in their toil 
Than conq'ring warriors o'er an empire's spoil. 
With setting sun all out-door labours close, 
When man and beast take supper — and repose. 

With Solomon's old proverbs I agree, 
Although in some of them defects I see : 
He says all men toil solely for their meat, 
And yet not satisfied with all they eat. 
" For clothes they labour too" he might have said, 
As clothes ne'er jump on mankind ready made. 

Now, I contend that those who raise our food, 
Should dress m garments elegant and good ; 
On holidays appear as gay as those 
Who manufacture, sell, or make the clothes : 
A good advice I give, and hope will guide them — 
Within my Warehouse cheaply you'll provide them. 

April 12, 1848. 



MENTAL RAMBLE. 

Far back to Time's beginning let the soul 
Trace intermediate Ages as they roll ; 
On wing immortal hover o'er the place 
Where liv'd and flourish'd long some noble race. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 47 

Mark first who doth at present represent 
This family of most antique descent ; 
Next note his sire, — his grandsire next, — and so 
Backward and backward to their first sire go ; 
Then range them in their real existence all 
Upon the lawn, or in the Castle hall : 
Compare the lineaments of form and face — 
The speech — the dress — behaviour of the race ; 
Strangely — perhaps ridiculously — contrast 
"What now exists, with what is long, long past, 
What polish'd language and what manners 

grand 
Distinguish all the Juniors of the band ! 
The Older members rough and rougher grow 
Till savage frowns supplant the noble brow. 

The hist'ry, too, of each is fully told ; 
There, stands a tyrant, crafty, grim and bold ; 
There, an expansive-hearted, generous man 
"Who does to mankind all the good he can ; 
There, a brave Chieftain who his flag unfurl'd 
For Scotland's rights against an hostile world; 
There, a bright Patriot, who Religion's rights 
Esteems, defends, and for her freedom fights ; 
There, he whose Sov'reign can entrust afar 
As Viceroy ; — wise in Peace, and stern in War, 
Who easily an hundred million souls 
Rules, and their Empire's destiny controls ; 
There stands a Statesman, who in deep debate 
Argues for Peace or War to save the State, 



48 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Guides Noble Lords, who frame the Nation's laws, 
By ardent counsellings in Freedom's cause ; 
At home, behold him on his fiery steed 
Dash with th' exciting chase o'er hill and mead; — 
Mix'd with the motley crowd on icebound lake, 
Their manly sports and frantic joys partake; 
All needed kindness generously grant, 
Promote industry, and preserve from want ; — 
Whate'er it be that happier makes mankind 
Will in his heart and hand a Patron find. 

Thus at a glance the mind from age to age 
Pourtrays the passing actors on Life's stage — 
Proves to the world that Wisdom, Worth, and 

Spirit, 
Praise, Gratitude, and Admiration merit. 

July 16, 1844. 



EAMBLE ON DUNDONALD HILL. 

Upon thy lofty ridge, Dundonald, I 
Near and far distant scenes with rapture spy : 
Mine eyes with ecstasy look west, north, east, 
And south — enjoying a delicious feast. 
But who can Nature paint in charms so true, 
As those she presses on th' impassion'd view ? 
Who can depict, by pencil or by word, 
What beauty and sublimity afford ? 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 49 

Who catch these tints, unnumbered in their hues, 
Intricate — mingling — delicate — diffuse ? 

Thine is the rampart whence afar is seen 
Arran's wild peaks, and slopes of verdant green ; 
Jura's twin breasts — Argyle's out-stretching rocks, 
Defending Clyde from fierce Atlantic's shocks ; 
Ailsa, the sentinel who signals home 
The toil-worn sailor from his ocean roam ; 
Carrick's high-terrac'd front o'erhanging Clyde, 
The natal home of Bruce — still Scotland's pride ; 
And westward far, beyond Portpatrick's roar, 
Erin's deep bay-indented level shore. 
Nearer, responsive to my prying stare 
Up start the towers and spires of beauteous Ayr — 
Ayr ! lovely mistress of the Western coast, 
The haunt of lawyers and the Poet's boast, 
Ancient as time when Roman legions strode 
O'er ev'ry land where mankind had abode. 

Thy haven, youthful Troon, lies at my feet ; 
Year after year fast multiplies thy fleet, 
And ere an age elapses, on thy strand 
There doubtless will a well-built city stand, 
Irvine — fair Irvine — tho' of ancient date, 
Freshly thy vigour has revived of late ; 
Thy streets with splendid mansions now abound, 
While villas elegant thy walls surround. 
Kilwinning — mother lodge of mystic ties — 
With single turret now thou brav'st the skies, 



50 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Peaceful and happy as in days long past, 

When thy seven pompous towers defied the blast. 

But sweet Dundonald ! lonely, lovely nook ! 
Shall I thy dear enchantments overlook ? 
Modest and quiet, 'neath thy mountain's shade 
(Like tender damsel in her chieftain's plaid), 
Thy sloping street and pretty gardens lie, 
Admir'd and praised by ev'ry passer by, 
Thy zeal's bright flame thy churches well attest, 
And handsome tombstones speak of saints at rest ! 
Thy ruin'd Castle also tells a story 
Of royal grandeur and departed glory. 

Like burnish'd gold Clyde's rolling waters shine, 
And curling waves around her islands twine : 
Yon gallant ships, with breeze-distended sails, 
Lean to an fro to catch the fav'ring gales ; 
The wind propels them, and without the wind 
No profitable mart or port they'll find. 
But mark the steamer's foaming, smoky course, 
No w T ind repels — no tide retards her course, 
With steady aim the pilot points the way, 
And power resistless cleaves the sparkling spray. 

May 15, 1849. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 51 



RESUMED DUNDONALD RAMBLE* 

Dundonald, thine extensive mountain range 
Gives richer views — (tho' this seems somewhat 

strange) 
Than any mountain, hill, or rock on Clyde, 
"Whether upon the east or western side. 
Goatfell may say, and say with justice too — 
" Dundonald ! must I be compared with you ? 
" Why 1 Dwarf, I'm taller by two thousand feet 
" Than any knob upon thy Dutch-built seat ; 
u Trifles may catch and please thy glimm'ring eye 
" Like soaring eagle I look from the sky." 

"Yes, haggard Goatfell," might Dundonald say, 
" Thy Highland pride may bluster in this way — 
" True — thou art tall and with thy piercing eye 
u May giants like thyself unnumber'd spy ; 
" Yes, like thyself in poverty and pride, 
" And like thee, too — far better hills deride. 
" Though low in stature when compared with thee, 
" Much, thou can't notice, I can clearly see ; 
" Wealth near me, circl'd within twenty miles 
" Full well worth thee and all thy sister Isles." 

'Round thee, Dundonald, stretch luxuriant plains 
Alive with flocks, and stor'd with waving grains, 
Beneath the surface coals in mines abound 
"Which busy ships convey the world all round, 



52 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Enriching fast the owners of the soil 
And yielding plenty to the miners' toil. 
See at thy side and far along the coast 
A railway lengthening till in distance lost ; 
Hundreds of miles, north, east, and south it wends 
And quick as light'ning to our wants attends. ' 

In yonder vale where muddy smoke appears, 
There stands Kilmarnock — famed a thousand years, 
Unmatched for holy priests in days of yore, 
Who self-inflicted penance calmly bore, 
Now unsurpass'd for priests who dare maintain 
The wholesome truth — that godliness is gain ! 
And while with zeal support this precious creed 
Make scoffers whisper—" godliness is greed !* 
But leaving priests to press their fav'rite theme, 
What else is there that gives Kilmarnock fame ? 
There Genius with his ardent, active brain, 
Invents, improves, impels the means of gain, 
Combines with ease, brass, iron, water, fire, 
And makes them do whatever men desire ! 
There skilful workmen tastefully display 
Their art on wool, and spread the Carpet gay ; 
With wond'rous loom the silk worms' nests com- 
bine, 
And forth the Damask's brilliant colours shine ; 
With chymic science mix the radiant rays 
Till the De Laine its rainbow shades displays. 
There implements of ev'ry kind are made 
For agriculture, and for humbler trade ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 53 

There ev'ry tree, and shrub, and flower is found 
To deck the pattern and adorn the ground ; 
There stands the telescope with heav'nly gaze, 
(From starry regions bringing Morton praise), 
To raise man's mind from little things to great, 
And give a foretaste of a future state ; 
To prove Creation's works are numberless, 
And must afford eternal scenes of bliss ! 
There honored Shaw in marble statue stands 
The friend of Ayrshire's sons in distant lands ; 
There magic Artists arm'd with Sovereign will 
Give life to canvass, with creative skill ; 
There also Poets warble forth their lays 
And sing our lovely Queen Victoria's praise. 

And there rich merchandize of every kind 
In vast abundance Ayrshire people find ; 
The Epicure may there obtain supplies 
To glut his app'tite and delight his eyes ; 
There in a word may ev'ry human want 
From ample stores obtain a lib'ral grant ; 
And there, too, all who Clothing may require 
"Will in my Warehouse have their heart's desire. 

May 30*A, 1849. 



54 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



ODE TO QUEEN VICTORIA. 

Great Mistress of the British Isles, 

Old Scotland welcomes thee with smiles, 

Joy dances o'er our hills and dales 

Whene'er thy fleet displays her sails, 

And wheresoe'er thy foot may tread 

Safe rests the Crown upon thy head. 

The great, the small, the grave, the gay, 

Alike their loyalty display ; 

A loyalty which love has warm'd, 

A loyalty Thy life has " charm! d? 

A loyalty sustains Thy throne 

When all around are tott'ring down ; 

A loyalty whose aspirations 

Preserve thee Queen o'er many nations ! 

Victoria, list ! an humble Bard 
Solicits Thy benign regard, 
Whilst he a wish in artless strain 
Whispers — and Ayrshire adds, Amen ! 

Thou now hast seen Edina's towers, 
And wander'd 'midst Dalkeith's proud bowers, 
Surveyed the shores of swelling Forth, 
And climbed the mountains of the North : 
With Albert brav'd the tangl'd brake, 
And skimm'd the deep, dark, Alpine lake ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 55 

The frightful glen's abyss descended. 
On giddy crag thy fate suspended. 
Far in the wilds where timid deer 
On man's approach their antler's rear, 
And bounding reckless haste to shun 
The death-knell of relentless gun, 
Hast thou beheld thine Albert's toil, 
And cheer'd his triumphs with thy smile : 
Nor was the clansman's rustic game, 
By which he now ascends to fame, 
Beneath thy Royal observation, 
But won thy cordial approbation : 
And well might Royalty employ 
A day for sports to man and boy ; 
Sports which inspire and nurse the valour 
Of British soldier and of sailor ; 
Sports when (if e'er) they're cast aside, 
Britain shall sink like ebbing tide ! 



My Wish then is, gracious Queen, 
Since Thou and Thine these sights have seen, 
Safe o'er the boist'rous ocean's foam, 
May guardian angels steer you home ; 
There to repose through winter drear, 
And sip the joy of social cheer. 
And when again inclin'd to roam, 
And leave thy splendid palace home, 
Ayrshire invites thee to her shades, 
Her swelling knolls, and grassy glades, 



56 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Her Carrick, Cuninghame, and Kyle, 
Her matchless Bridge of Ballochmyle, 
Her rivers, brooks — Doon's banks and braes, 
Where Burns enjoy'd his youthful days ; 
And, where he barely earn'd his bread 
A rich memorial rears its head, 
Proclaiming — " Scotia's Poets thrive 
" Far better dead — than ivhen alive !" 
Bruce, too, this county once adorn'd, 
And Wallace, whom all Scotland mourn'd, 
And many a sainted one liv'd here 
Whom Scotia's sons shall long revere. 
Montgomerie's noble race renown'd 
In all its glory still is found, 
And in their Castl'd-Palace dome 
Thou'lt find a gen'rous, loyal home, 
But — all from Peer to Peasant — shall 
Thee welcome warm to Bower and Hall. 

No steel-clad guards thou needest here, 
In Ayrshire there's no foe to fear ; 
And whilst among us thou shalt stay 
We all shall dress in garments gay — 
And nought but happiness be seen, 
And music heard — " God save the Queen." 

September 12, 1848. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 57 



TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

This is an age of opposition ; 

Be what you may — in what position, 

Fell Envy's ee's on your condition 

To wish it waur, 
And downward dash to dark perdition 

Ilk shining star. 

The weel-us'd Beggar has his foes, 
The weel-lik'd Peer's taen by the nose, 
The favourite Nag aft gets a dose 

To check his speed, 
Our lovely Queen, I scarce suppose, 

Has nane to dread. 

Lang hae I opposition kent, 

Lang Envy's shafts hae fierce been sent, 

And tho' they maistly reach'd me spent, 

Yet now and then 
The jag o' ane, to sma' extent 

Whyles gied me pain. 

Now I'm convinced ayont debate, 
These ills are wisely sent by fate, 
To keep me cautious, ear and late 

Always to study, 
To sell Best Clothes, at cheapest rate, 

To ev'ry body. 
July 17, 1848. 



58 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



AN HUMBLE PKAYER. 

When feckless man's afflicted sair, 
He aften vents his grief in prayer, 
And though nae answer, less or mair, 

Should e'er arrive, 
Wi' conscience sooth'd and eas'd o' care, 

He hopes to thrive, 

The Patriot feels his country's woes — 
Averts her ills — repels her foes — 
Even cheers her in the death-like throes 

Free Trade has brought, 
And thankfu' feels when fortune flows, 

Wi' blessings sought. 

But what can praying do for them 
Who ruin wud their vera hame, 
And for sic madness feel nae shame 

Nor inward grievin' ; 
A' but themseVs can see their blame 

An' self-deceivin'. 

Just think, think, ye beauteous Eves ! 
Wha drill men's hearts like millers' sieves, 
Angelic forms, wi' snaw-white nieves, 

And gowd-filled purses, 
Wha tempt ye aff'mang Lunnan thieves, 

Deserve our curses. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 59 



Far aff fowls hae ('tis said) fair feathers *, 
But this and mony a proverb's blethers ; 
The ev'rbdoun truth aye stauns a' weathers; 

And this I'll say, 
Nae lisping Cockney Mercer gathers 

What I display. 

But egotism, I declare, 

Has made me maist forget my prayer, 

To speaking eyes and features fair, 

Where virtues reign ; 
I'll show you Silks baith rich and rare — ■ 

They'll staun their lane. 

Ye high-born Brides in search o' braws, 
Wha think we Scotch keep naught but sma's, 
Just mak' ae choice within my wa's 

To deed your backs, 
Then be ye Misses or Mammas 

Ye'll grace Almacks ! 

Ye Lords and Knights wha's weel tauld rent 
Should ne'er aff Scotia's soil be spent, 
I'll prove you'll save full cent, per cent., 

By coming here ; 
In Lunnan better ne'er was kent 

For leuk and wear ! 

A' ye w T ha hunt the wily tod, 
Or pussy chase on smoother sod, 



60 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Or wi' the pointer tak' the road ; 

In Green or Pink, 
Just let me rig you, 'twill be odd 

If ye're sma' drink ! 

Ye through the warld that doucely gang, 
Preferring deeds to pious slang, 
Bid me sned down a wab that's lang, 

0' Sax'ny black, 
Rain, sleet, nor snaw can never wrang, 

Nor sunshine crack. 

Richly the mead's refresh'd wi' rain, 
Luxuriant waves the gowden grain, 
Ance mair the Farmers count their gain, 

Nor famine fear ; 
Surely they'll deed ilk wife and wean, 

In style this year. 

Ye Lasses wha hae lads enow, 

And ken some anes among them true, 

Weel busJcit, ye'll them catch — though few 

Your ither graces ! 
A note weel warH wad soon save you 

Frae seeking u places." 

And now my Friends — baith great and sma, 
Rich, puir, young, auld — tho' bleer't or braw, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 61 

I hereby pledge io deed you a' 

In triggest fashion, 
And hope, and pray, while breath I draw, 

Ye'll ne'er put trash on. 

August 7, 1848. 



ODE TO THE SHOWER. 

Long look'd for shower, thou'rt come at last, 
And come, too, with a western blast, 
And come, too, when thou welcom'd art 
By many a thankful, throbbing heart ! 

The pasture on the hills was failing, 
The flocks the dried up rills were wailing, 
The moorcock scarce could get a drop 
To moist the heather in his crop ; 
The peasweep and long-nebb'd curlew 
Could catch no worms amongst the dew, 
But forc'd were morn and e'en to soar, 
And fish for shrimps upon the shore. 

The ditches, oft a good supply 
Of drink to kine, were now run dry, 
And milk-maids and plough-boys by turns 
Made up the loss from wells and burns, 
And panting under sfoup and cog 
"Wish'd half of ev'ry field a bog. 
The corn with sallow stunted leaf, 
Threaten'd a dwarf and headless sheaf: 



62 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

And many a rich, well-manur'd field 
"Would ne'er a single turnip yield, 
Had not thy nursing moisture fallen 
And ling'ring seeds reviv'd and swollen. 

Now drills that late were hard as brick ; 
With strong, green braird are cover'd thick. 
Wheat, corn, and beans, look fresh and gay 
While deeply waves the lengthening hay, 
And last — not least — potatoes seem 
Their long-lost vigour to redeem. 

Shower — well may Ayrshire folk unite 
To hail thy coming with delight ! 



June 25, 1849. 



ODE TO THE SUN. 

Refulgent Orb, whose vivifying rays 

Six thousand years have drawn forth mankind's 

praise ; 
Kind Nature bade thee on his works divine, 
Day after day, with ceaseless glory shine : 
And such pre-eminence was well thy due 
For thou'rt his greatest orb, and brightest too ! 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



63 



When first thou look'd upon our gloomy earth, 
Ere man, or living-being, yet had birth — 
A hopeless, miry mass — all round and round — 
No gurgling fountain and no solid ground,-— 
No lofty mountain, — no wild dashing sea, 
No flowery lawn, and no luxuriant tree, — 
To thee it seem'd a dreary, useless w T aste 
No pleasure there — and no one there to taste ! 
But soon the water from the soil was drawn 
And flowing tides surround the fertile lawn, — 
And thine Almighty, skilful Architect, 
Our Globe with trees, and plants, and flowers 

bedeck'd. 
Then living creatures He with wondrous care 
Form'd to enjoy the water, land, and air ; 
And lastly, Man, o'er all things to preside, 
To taste, select, enjoy, control, and guide. 
Since then — what wonders on this spot bef el, 
Clearly thou saw'st — and plainly thou might'st 

tell,— 
But story this — conceal'd from human sight 
Till mortals reach the source of all thy light. 



Thy bless'd career around this orb has rais'd 
Thee more than thy Creator to be prais'd, 
And men thy friendship sought, thy malice fear'd, 
And as a god unto thee temples rear'd ; 
With victim's gore and solemn rites appeas'd 
Thy dreaded ire — and guilty terrors eas'd ! 



64 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Whene'er thy rays the eastern sky ilium 'd 
With incense sweet thine altars were perfum'd, 
And crafty priests in Heathen nations still 
Support thy worship and expound thy will. 
Not so in Britain ; happily we know 
Whence all thy attributes and glory flow ! 
And whilst with glowing gratitude we speak 
Of moist'ning showers, we rip'ning radiance seek, 
And though the rain has mellow'd ev'ry field 
No treasures rich without thy smile they'll yield. 
Of late thou hast, profusely, kindness shown, 
Which waving corn, and wheat, and barley own ; 
And swelling roots, and rip'ning fruits have shar'd 
The timely glow of thy benign regard. 
Shine on us thus, till harvest's weeks are o'er, 
And then we'll thank thee — though we sha'nt adore. 

July 17th t 1849. 



RESPECTFUL ADMONITION, 

AGAINST ATTENDING M'WHEELAN'S EXECUTION FOR 
MURDER. 

Methinks I hear from Ayr's dark prison hold, 
A solemn sound of anguish half suppress'd : 

It comes from him who erst in murder bold, 
Is now by horror and despair oppressed ! 

Nor does his aching head that finds no rest — ■ 
While anxious care has worn his visage pale — 

Nor fitful starts and heavings of his breast, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 65 

Nor piteous murmurs for repose avail ; 
O'er all his thoughts the gallows and the gaping 
crowd prevail ! 

Oh ! why will man and woman jocund go 

To glut their eyes upon the parting pangs, 
And keenly watch the latest quivering throe, 

Of strangl'd wretch who in yon halter hangs ? 
Tis right he should escape not Justice's fangs, 

'Tis right (perhaps) he life for life should pay, 
'Tis right in guilty ears the thund'ring clangs 

Of violated law, should fiercely say, 

" Thy crime shall have its full reward on some 
dread future day." 

But, is the load of guilt upon his soul 

Too light to force true penitential tears ? 
And does his awful sentence not control 

His mental wand'rings from the fate he fears ? 
Nay ; — Try to fancy how his victim rears 

His ghastly form, besmeared with glotted gore ; 
And in a vengeful attitude appears, 

With direful looks, and fiendish yell and roar ! 

Forcing a cold and clammy sweat to gush from 
every pore ! 

Then why, O why increase the culprit's pain, 
By staring at the torments he endures ? 

Tell me, tell me what your hearts may gain 
By wandering where a scene so sad allures ? 



66 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



Much your attendance certainly insures ; — 
'Twill steel your sympathy for human woe ; 

'Twill cool compassion where alone it cures, 
And train your spirits to the realms below — 
The doom'd abode of all who will not mercy show ! 

October 10, 1848. 



FAREWELL ADDRESS TO THE YEAR 1848. 

Thou monstrous year of Revolutions, 
Rev'lling 'mongst kings and constitutions; 
Driving to exile monarchs great 
"Who never dreamt of such a fate. 
The lowly serf to rule thou'st raised — 
The greatest, wisest, best, debased ; 
Turned topsy-turvy all opinions, 
And ravaged e'en the Pope's dominions, 
And made Heaven's Yicar-General run 
In footman's garb his foes to shun, 
And in his exile dread the doom 
Which long has lingered over Rome ! 
But " ill lie fares who has no hope" 
Not so His Holiness the Pope ; 
He hopes and prays that Paul and Peter 
May grant him back his crown and mitre, 
His rebel flocks bend to subjection, 
And keep them quiet in his protection. 
The Apostles, doubtless, hear his pray'rs, 
And soon dispel must all his cares. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 67 

Though Europe's prostrate 'neath thy stroke, 
Britain stands firm upon her rock : 
On Britain thou thy vengeance tried — 
Britons thy strength and skill defied ; 
Traitors within, and foes without, 
Along with thee were put to route. 



As thine own exit's drawing nigh, 
Shall any heave for thee a sigh ? 
How many thousands sadly mourn 
The friends whom thou hast from them torn ? 
Slain by intestine strifes and feuds — 
By war destroyed in multitudes ; 
Whilst ChoFra join'd the freightful train 
That added victims to thy reign ! 
All ranks of mankind have thee curst, 
As of all years they've seen, the worst. 
Yet there is one will bless the day 
When thou commenced thy wayward sway ; 
Smiling he saw thy furious bands 
Haste to fulfil thy dire commands, 
To kill — destroy — deface — to spoil 
The glories of a monarch's toil ; 
Burn in one mass, throne, sceptre, laws, 
To further holy Freedom's cause ! 
Oust root and branch a dynasty 
Which curbed usurpers such as he ! ! 
Pav'd wide a smooth road to a throne 
For — Prince Louis Napoleon ! ! ! 



68 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Yes, thou hast raised him high, but shall 
Thy first-born not pronounce his fall ? 
And now old crusty Year — farewell ! 
Soon — soon I'll hear thy fun'ral knell. 
With joy thine heir shall welcomed be, 
By all the world as will as — me. 

Dec. 26, 1848. 



BIRTH-DAY SONG IN HONOUR OF BURNS. 

(Tune— The Laird o > CocJcpenJ 

The langer I leeve, the mair I like Burns — 
The langer I leeve, mair honour gie Burns ; 
His poems and sangs hae sic comical turns, 
Every ither guffaw maFs me fonder o y Burns. 

I ne'er lift his beuk but I fin' something new, 
Or something weel kent in a rare sparkling view ; 
For whether in saul he rejoices or mourns, 
There is bright inspiration aye flashing frae Burns. 

On his Halloween cantrips I leuk wi' great glee, 
His dolefu* laments bring the tear to my e'e, 
My breast swells wi* joy when a' meanness he spurns, 
Wha wadna admire the prood spirit o' Burns ? 

When Bruce rallies Scotland in Liberty's cause, 
Whaur — whaur is the coward ae moment wad pause? 
Like a lion our nation its enemies scorns, 
Every Scot turns a hero when rous'd up by Burns. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 69 

I pity the mousie turned up wi' his plough , 
I smile at the louse climbing Jenny's deck'd brow, 
My heart bleeds wi' his, o'er lost frien's in their urns, 
But far maist for Mary, wha dear was to Burns. 

Wi' bold Tarn o' Shanter I aft canter hame, 
Wi' jolly Tam Samson bring doun the wingM game. 
Safely stray wi' auld Nick when on earth he sojourns, 
And for a' this grand sport hae to thank Robin Burns. 

Come then let's a' join in honouring Burns, 
Let us list to nae slander that's whisper'd o' Burns ; 
And let Scotsmen as aft as his birth-day returns. 
Coup aff a deep bumper in honour o' Burns. 

Jan. 25, 1849. 



SPRING. 

Nature's Great Parent, whom all orbs obey, 
Has bade our Earth her northern tempests stay, 
The frosty wind to melt in balmy air, 
The wither'd buds t' expand in blossoms fair, 
The heaving Ocean's fiercest foaming waves 
Gently to glide o'er Winter's victims' graves ; 
Bids the return of genial warmth excite 
The feather'd tribes to innocent delight — 
Their nests with nicest skill and care to build, 
Their eggs to hatch, their brood to nurse and shield ; 
Commands the grass to clothe our hills and dales — 
The grass obeys — and verdant Spring prevails. 



70 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

The Sun refulgent, with creative heat 
Calls insect myriads from their dark retreat, 
Tells them with brilliant wing and bright attire 
From muddy cells to serial heights aspire ; 
Awakes from Winter's dull repose the Bee 
To cull the sweets of ev'ry plant and tree, 
The luscious food in waxen cups prepare 
'Gainst coming want, with more than miser care. 

See how the pastur'd flocks and herds increase, 
When Winter flies and Spring resumes his place ! 
How man himself begins his annual toil 
With vigorous arm to break the sullen soil, 
Wide scattering on it what he hopes to see 
Restored — tenfold at least — by Autumn be ! 
Whilst Earth, Air, Water, full of love and joy, 
Combining, all their vital powers employ 
To swell, and sweeten mankind's happiness, 
And raise them higher in the scale of bliss ! 

Whose heart can beat and feel no gratitude 
For such displays of universal good ? 
Up to the Giver let all praise ascend, 
Through seasons, years, and cycles without end. 

March 20, 1849. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



71 



ODE TO THE QUEEN. 

Monarch serene ! whose mild yet potent sway 
All Scotsmen own, and cheerfully obey ; 
Millions of Saxons too with homage bend 
Before thy sceptre — love thee as their friend ! 
Wide as the world, illustrious is thy fame — 
Even savage nations laud Victoria's name 
But sadly beats my heart's blood when I hear 
That dastard ruffian's shot has stunned thine ear ; 
That whilst enjoying by thy children's side, 
The gladd'ning pleasures of an ev'ning ride, 
Amidst the throng who congregate to see 
The Royal train, a trait'rous wretch should be, 
"Who wantonly insults an Empire's pride, 
And does with hellish freak its loyalty deride ! 

But while with deepest grief mine eye-lids swell, 
I glory no such fiends in Scotland dwell. 
Your Majesty might live a thousand years 
In Caledonia, undisturb'd by fears ! 
Yes ! every man and woman north of Tweed 
Would for their Queen and nation's honour bleed 
And, while they curse the cause of thine alarm, 
Pray Heaven's strong arm to shelter thee from harm 
And though all Europe's thrones have shaken been, 
Thine stands in faithful hearts: God Save the 

Queen ! 

May 23, 1849. 



72 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



GRATEFUL ADDRESS TO MISS T , 

FOR HER SEASONABLE GIFT OF A PAIR OF STOCKINGS, 
KNITTED BY HER OWN HANDS. 

Great was my gratitude when I 
At first your stockings on did try ; 
Perhaps I then should giv'n you thanks 
For such warm coverings to my shanks. 
Not by ingratitude deterr'd 
Have I that pleasant task deferr'd, 
But simply that experience might 
Extend my feeling of delight, 
And spread o'er all my frame the glow 
Which first was felt by ev'ry toe ; 
And till my fingers caught the flame 
And to my pen convey'd the same. 

My heart with warmest thanks expands 
To your industrious, nimble hands, 
Which, guided by your friendly heart, 
Display'd so well the Knitting art, 
Producing such a pair of hose — 
For warmth to feet, to legs, to toes — 
That out of Scots or English store 
1 ne'er got such a pair before. 

Now, having given my thanks expression, 
I hope you'll pardon a digression : 

A wish I have which must be out, 
And yet it lingers long in doubt ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



73 



'Tis that your numerous virtues may 
In all their modest, quiet array, 
Soon gain a Heart, a Hand, a Home, 
From which you'll never wish to roam. 

May 14, 1835. 



GRIEF UNDISGUISED. 

A FAMILY PIECE. 

I saw a tear start from fair Isa's eye, 
It seem'd to be the offspring of despair, 

'Twas follow'd by a deep convulsive sigh — 

"Alas !" she scream'd, " I've lost my fav'rite pear ! M 

" Alone upon the verdant tree it hung, 

«• I mark'd it ere the bud its bloom disclosed, 

" All kindred blossoms died while they were young, 
" On this alone my anxious hopes repos'd. 

" I watch'd its growth, and often fear'd the frost 
u Would stop the tender swellings of its breast, 

" And more than once I thought the thing was lost 
" While it had shrunk behind a leaf to rest. 

" Sweet, modest, little lovely Jargonelle ! 

" Alternate shade and sunshine it esteemed, 
" And it had grown, and grown till like a bell 

" Of goodly size just yesterday it seem'd. 

" And I had happy prospects that, ere long, 
" Ripe, rich, and kindly in my lap 'twould drop, 



74 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

" And furnish luscious treat to old and young — 
" Such my desire, and such my fondest hope. 

" Now gone it is ! and who has done the deed ? 

" I've sad suspicions, but yet dread them true, 
" Some one who has for pears insatiate greed, 

" Therefore I must conclude 'twas little Hugh !" 

Fate ! what power can thy decrees reverse ? 

Great orbs as well as small shrink at thy frown ; 
A comet,* which astounds a universe, 

Sinks at thy bidding as a pear falls down. 

Autumn, 1835. 



TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

Well has the sun his bounteous task fulfilled, 
And ripening wheat and corn our ridges gild, 
Beans tall and growthy — wondrous fresh and strong, 
With pods fast filling — numerous, broad and long ; 
Potatoes o'er extensive tracts are found 
In all directions — heaving up the ground, 
Their swelling roots, from all disease secure, 
Must amply yield supplies for rich and poor. 
The turnips, too — where'er the seed was sown — 
Have rapidly and vigorously grown ; 
Nor, as an old spectator, can I tell, 
When I have seen the crop look half so well. 

* The alarming Comet of 1835. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 75 

Even carrots — fickle in our clime and soil — 
In Autumn shall reward the Farmers' toil ; 
And though the hay be safe from blast and flood, 
Still on the pasture cows have ample food. 
The dairy-pail keeps churn and cheeset going, 
And Glasgow with rich milk and cream overflowing 
(Glasgow resembling Babylon of old, 
Where thousands worship nothing else but gold ! 
And where insatiate Jews, with greedy aim, 
On hirelings' harps their merchandise proclaim). 
Thus, blessed with plenty, and enjoying peace, 
Our grateful aspirations ne'er should cease. 

Now let me hope that warmth and drowth may last, 
And health remain till harvest toils are past ; 
Abundance in your barns and garners be, 
And mutual friendship reign o'er you and me. 

And when it happens that you Clothing need, 
You'll find my charges unalloy'd with greed — 
That all I sell shall be at mod'rate price, 
With choice unbounded — new, rich, stylish, nice. 

And should you wish to join the loyal host 
Who welcome Great Victoria to our coast, 
Let none from Ayrshire there in rags be seen, 
But gayly clad, to sing, God Save the Queen ! 

August 7th, 1849. 



76 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



ODE TO AUTUMN. 

Come, gladsome Autumn, with thy tresses fair, 
Grant the long hoped-for fruits of anxious care — 
Give the reward that industry deserves — 
Secure the food which man and beast preserves ; 
Let joy diffuse its charms o'er ev'ry face, 
And plenty wipe off Famine's rueful trace. 

Now rip'ning fields, and fields already shorn, 
And fields from which the golden grain is borne, 
Well classified, from coast to upland lie, 
With varied aspect, pleasing to the eye. 
Still here and there some mould'ring hay ricks stand 
(Disgraceful to the farmer and his land), 
And lab'ring waggons through the miry roads, 
Toil to the turnpike with their town-bound loads ; 
Yet sweeter scented, and of brighter green — 
The hay this season — than I've ever seen. 

Ye Eeapers, quick your glitt'ring hooks prepare — 
Rub off the rust — make sharp with skill and care ; 
With ready step obey the morning call, 
And hasten with the farmer to his hall, 
Where cheerful throng awaits, and where you'll find, 
Of men or women, partners to your mind ; 
Willing to join in social, mutual strife — 
To lengthen, not to shorten, human life. 

Ah ! How your little mimic warlike bands, 
Remind me of fell feuds in foreign lands ! 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 77 

Behold the Austrian on the Magyar plain, 
Insatiate still, with tens of thousands slain ! 
All — all shall by his fell sword be cut down, 
Or Hung'ry must a tyrant's edicts own ! 
So, you will ne'er be satisfied till all 
The ripen'd corn beneath your sickles fall. 
Bat whilst in better cause than Austrian foe, 
You with the weapon deal the deadly blow, 
Wield every stroke with " caution and good heed," 
Lest, Austrian-like, ye for your folly bleed. 

How blest with peace and happiness our Isle 
Where Art and Science well-rewarded smile — ■ 
Where mental stores are gather'd and diffus'd — 
The path to glory trode but not abus'd; 
Where he who can the people's good promote, 
Increase their comforts — ease the wretched's lot- — 
Open to labour cheering views of wealth, 
Enforce pure morals, shield the public health ; 
Shall, while he lives, be hail'd with loud acclaim, 
And Britons, when he dies, embalm his name: 
Such patriots, greater, better, happier far 
Than they who bloody laurels reap in war. 
Amongst such patriots I could wish to claim, 
The usefulness, without the empty fame, 

August 22, 1849. 



78 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

Selfishness is a term generally, but erroneously, 
held in detestation ; for it is a principle which, when 
properly understood and acted upon, tends directly 
to promote individual and universal happiness. 
Happiness is the aim of all human beings, but 
happiness cannot be enjoyed, extended, or con- 
tinued, without the full development of the true sel- 
fish principle. Selfishness grasps not only at the 
gratification of all the sensual appetites, but also at 
the loftier enjoyments which flow from the unfet- 
tered exercise of all the moral and intellectual facul- 
ties. A truly good man wishes to obtain and secure 
for himself all that renders life desirable; but he 
never encroaches upon the interests or comforts of 
others. A truly good man w T ishes every human being 
to be as happy and as comfortable as himself, but he 
will vigorously oppose the diminution or destruction 
of the sources of his own enjoyments. Selfishness, 
too, is the fundamental principle of all that is, or 
ever can be, worth the name of socialism amongst 
mankind. Selfishness, moreover, is the only firm 
basis upon which all that is great, glorious, and 
enduring in the world can be founded. Every one 
may be, to some extent (I am persuaded), the bene- 
factor of his species, although many suppose that 
self-denial or self-sacrifice is the very essence of true 
benevolence. He who exerts all his talents, how- 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 79 

ever humble, honestly and honourably to promote 
his own happiness, is as really a benefactor to the 
rest of the human family as he who scatters 
thousands of pounds to charitable purposes. 

Sept. 19, 1849. 



A HINT TO THE PEOPLE OF AYESHIRE. 

Spring, Summer, Autumn, have produced once more 
Luxuriant crops and fruits for Winter's store ; 
And now the fields are swept of ev'ry sheaf, 
And nipping frosts are with'ring ev'ry leaf. 

Alternate shower and sunshine — -frost and thaw — 
Now ev'n and morn their curtains closer draw — 
Eedbreasts approach, and with confiding eye 
Gaze on their friends, who shelter ne'er deny- 
In crowds the buzzing insects helpless crawl, 
Which spiders seizing, to their larders haul, 
Thence (gorg'd to excess) seek a dark retreat, 
To sleep and dream till Spring's returning heat. 
These and ten thousand other creatures tell 
Of coming winter — for they know it well — • 
By instinct guided, do the best they can, 
And weather Winter just as well as man. 

Man boasts of Reason — and 'tis right he should, 
Yet often errs, preferring ill to good. 

What myriads to yon Golden Regions haste, 
Regardless of the pestilential waste ! 



80 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Regardless of the dangers of the sea ! 
Regardless of kind-soul'd society! 
Heedless alike of present pain and joy ! 
Bright golden dreams their ardent souls employ I 
a j? rom California when they safe come back, 
JS T o earthly comforts e'er again shall lack" 

To reason thus is ill, but not so bad 
As they who will not by their wealth be clad ; 
"Who hoard their treasure for some distant day, 
And never look respectable or gay ; 
"Whose shiv'ring frames for warmest Clothing sigh, 
And aching limbs respond with plaintive cry ; 
Yet, gold-encasd, their hearts no pity feel, 
And even from " Self" their sympathies conceal ! 

October 24, 1849. 



ATTRACTION. 

'Tis marv'llous how the human mind can trace 
Millions of rolling worlds in boundless space ; 
Clearly define their orbits, size, and weight, 
And how the small attend and serve the great ! 
How all combine in one harmonious whole, 
While each moves on its independent pole ! 
No jarring interests ever interfere 
To interrupt their glorious career : 
And thus the universe is filled with light, 
Order unvarying, and refulgence bright. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



81 



Something resembling this on earth is seen, 
When highest nobles bend to Britain's Queen ; 
And when each noble in his own sphere 
Has knights and squires who honour and revere : 
Each knight and squire, too, finds a circling host 
Attracted by him — who his friendship boast; 
And downward in the scale of ranks we find 
A magnate midst the meanest of mankind ; 
The waggish beggar everywhere commands 
Applause along with alms from bounteous hands. 

Attraction plainly constitutes the force 

Which guides all suns and systems in their course, 

Impels and rules mankind in all they do, 

And wisely well I trust direct you too. 

November 28, 1849. 



DEDICATED 
TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

Time onward runs in his unchecked career, 
And soon will finish this eventful Year ; 
A year that witness'd many a nation's woes, 
But leaves, thank Heaven, Britannia in repose. 

ODE TO 1849. 

Eighteen-Forty-Nine, thy short career 
Was filled from first to last with hope and fear ; 
Pale Pestilence, with baneful speed, o'er-ran 
Our great Metropolis when thy reign began. 



82 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Week after week his thousands slew w T ith ease — 

No power could stop, no sacrifice could please ; 

Like ruthless tyrant, men of humble state 

In myriads crush'd, nor did he spare the great; 

Forth o'er the land he stalk'd with wrathful stride, 

And seem'd a scourge to humble Britain's pride ; 

Towns, cities, villages, and hamlets felt, 

In anguish bitter, every blow he dealt. 

At length, when his commission'd work was o'er, 

Smil'd at our tears, and sought another shore. 

Calamities we mourn, at crimes we blush : 
Who shudders not at Mannings or at Rush ? 
Ah, surely, ne'er did thy ancestors see 
Such cruel murderers as these wretched three ! 
They're gone, and have their last confession given ; 
Mercy, we hope, their spirits share in heaven. 

Hudson ! great railway king, thou hast dethroned ! 
He, too, for guilt has trembl'd and aton'd ; 
Pity we may, but pardon him we can't — 
For why ? He brings his subjects all to want. 
He was their idol — and for ever shall 
Idolaters with their gilt idols fall. 

Far different scenes and deeds thou cans't attest : 
Our Queen, of Monarchs lov'd, and honour'd best, 
To visit restless Erin kindly deign'd, 
And there her dignity and rights maintain'd. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 83 

Leaving that doubtful country, she once more 
Sought health and vigour on old Scotia's shore ; 
And found 'midst Alpine hills sublime repose, 
Which none but Nature's ardent lover knows. 

Thy closing month has seal'd Queen Ad'laide's eyes, 
And sent her gentle spirit to the skies ; 
A throne she filled with splendour and with grace, 
And leaves a Palace for a happier place ; 
Good she was, doubtless, though absurdly prais'd — 
She render'd back just what taxation rais'd ; 
Yet better far devote to bounteous ends, 
Than squander all upon her German friends. 

Now fare-thee-well, for " best of friends must part ;" 
Thy kindness ever shall affect my heart, 
Thy reign confirms my happiness and health, 
And plenty too — tho' slowly swells my wealth : 
Rich in contentment and confiding friends, 
I sip the joys which bounteous Heaven sends ; 
Envy has no apartment in my breast, 
A neighbour's success ne'er disturbs my rest ; 
All I wish happy — all I wish to see 
Have meat, drink, clothes — enjoyment, rich as me. 
Should thy successor be like thee, so kind, 
I'll sing his praise with glowing, grateful mind. 

December 26, 1849. 



84 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



BIRTH-DAY ADDRESS TO ROBERT BURNS. 

! Burns, 'tis my belief, though some say " No " — 
That Heav'n's bright spirits all our actions know, 
Applaud what's right, and censure what is wrong, 
Pity the weak, and animate the strong; 
Mark with delight the independent mind 
That soars above the meanness of mankind ; 
Cheers humble Genius struggling with despair, 
And whispers hope to hearts overwhelm'd with care ; 
With anxious gaze the Patriot's courage trace, 
And lead to triumph when he dreads disgrace. 

Whence does the Poet draw the sacred fire 
That thrills with life and love his burning lyre ? 
From Heav'n direct — I doubt not — comes the spark 
Which warms and brightens what before was dark ; 
Cheers with its rays the rugged, slipp'ry way, 
On which, alas ! the bard must often stray ; 
Aids him the mines of thinking to explore, 
And drag to light what ne'er was dream't before ; 
Helps his creative fancy in its flight, 
To form and range new objects of delight, 
And give to flowers, and trees, and stones, and streams, 
And towers and tombs, and light's refulgent beams, 
And all things else, the powers of speech and song, 
To teach and charm the list'ning, wond'ring throng. 

Yes, heav'n-inspir'd, the humblest poet can, 
Arouse, arrest, direct the soul of man ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 85 

The highest, lowest, wisest, worst may awe, 
Ev'n despot tyrant from fell purpose draw; 
Smooth storms of discord with the oil of peace, 
And o'er the world man's happiness increase. 

Now Burns, I pray, to me the secret tell, 
On whom — when thou took flight — thy mantle fell ? 
Or does it still float lightly o'er the land, 
Within the grasp of some advent'rous hand, 
Yet quite unseen by common mortal's sight, 
Transparent as the lucid rays of light ? 
Or wast thou so displeased with this cold world, 
That torn in tatters down thy garment hurl'd, 
Like useless rags, to flutter here and there, 
And dunces by the dozen snatch'd a share ? 

January 25, 1850. 



FAREWELL ADDRESS TO THE YEAR 1850, 

AS CONCLUDING THE FIRST HALF OF THE 
NINETEENTH CENTURY. 

Thy number'd hours, when ended, shall conclude 
Full fifty years of evil deeds and good; 
Thy natal day was usher'd in with grief, 
While starving millions vainly sought relief. 
Then I was young, and wonder'd mankind knew, 
How long the Earth had whirl'd since it was new — 
How long it was since Eden's happy pair 
Gaz'd on each other with an arn'rous stare — 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



How long it was since " Anno Domini" 
Began the " Era" of all dates we see ? 
And dying Jubilee, 'twas at thy birth 
" Portentous omens hung o'er sea and earth." 
The scourge of guilty Europe then was young — 
Napoleon, the ambitious, cruel, strong: 
He held no human mandate for his deeds, 
From Heaven's high vengeance all his wrath pro- 
ceeds. 
Fair Italy his chastening fury felt, 
Egypt and Syria to his prowess knelt, 
Germany's wide domains were forc'd to yield, 
And her vast armies driv'n from every field ; 
Nor, with the aid of Russia's dreadful hosts, 
Could they repel the Conqueror from their coasts : 
Spain, Portugal, and every minor State, 
Crush'd by him, yield as to relentless Fate. 
But Britain stood ! — a sea-surrounded rock, 
'Gainst which the waves of many a war have broke. 
Nor stood in vain ; victorious she at last 
Reveng'd Napoleon's deeds of evil past ; 
Met — fought — and quell'd his power at Waterloo, 
And all his arm'd Invincibles o'erthrew. 

Thy youthful days were thus in hardship spent, 
Ten thousand thousand ties of love were rent. 
Throughout wide Europe every family felt 
A pang — a thrill of woe — the despot dealt ; 
But Retribution (Heaven has order'd) shall 
Upon the head of every Tyrant fall ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 87 

And fall it did, on Liberty's worst foe. 
And hurled Napoleon to the shades below. 

Since then, each year has glorious changes wrought, 
Science and Art to high perfection brought. 
Taught ships to cross the seas, with giant stride, 
Despite of winds — of currents — and of tide ; 
Drawn distant nations to each other's shores, 
And taught them kindly to exchange their stores. 

From south to north, on Britain's rugged soil, 
The Eailways now relieve the horse's toil, 
And snorting engines rival far in speed 
The fleetest coursers of Arabic breed ; 
Nor tire with running, nor relax in strength 
With monstrous loads, or roads of greater length. 

What keen eye can the Electric fluid trace ? 
Diminishing entirely Time and Space ; 
Or see how man has managed to control 
Its spark, to carry words from pole to pole, 
And, quick as thought, from place to place, convey 
The tale of man's transactions every day ? 
That Heaven, in mercy, has this cent'ry blessed, 
Must be, at least, by Britain's sons confessed. 

Much could T sing of kings and statesmen gone — - 
Of mankind's gladness, and of mankind's groan ; 
But task so tedious I must leave to those 
Who clothe events in garb of simple prose. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



Much could I sing of joy and pleasure past — 

Of Beauty and Love's charms I dreamt would last ; 

Much could the Muse of private suffering tell, 

And bid the sympathetic bosom swell — ■ 

Of sad, sad, deep bereavements could discourse, 

Which down the cheek the bitter tear would force ; 

Of accidents — appalling, dreadful, sore, 

As when a limb is from the body tore ! 

But I refrain ; for soon thy funeral knell 

Will force us both with grief t' exclaim " Farewell !" 

Yet, ere we part for ever, let me hope 

Thy young successor still will Britain prop — 

Convince the world that she deserves a name 

Above all nations, on the scroll of Fame — 

That whilst she can the boundless ocean sweep, 

Sink every foe who dares her on the deep — 

That whilst her flag, where'er it is unfurl'd, 

Victorious waves, and awes a turb'lent world — 

She can excel in Arts as well as Arms, 

Repel by frowns, conciliate by her charms — 

Has courage to defy, with generous tone, 

The world to bring its products from each zone, 

Prove them with hers, in England's Crystal Hall, 

And there she hopes to far outshine them all. 

Declining Year ! thy moments are but few ! 
Farewell — farewell — a last, a long adieu ! 

Dec. 31, 1850. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 89 



MYSTERIES OF A MOLEHILL. 

See ye that newly upheav'd earth, 

In shape and size like " Ailsa Craig," 
'Tis there the offspring have their birth, 

Of Moles — the busy farmer's plague. 
Within, an ample cell is found, 

Which well w T ith softest grass is lin'd, 
And all around is richest ground, 

Where hosts of red-earth worms you'll find. 

And not far off is ditch, or rill, 

Or drain, or river, marsh, or burn, 
Where Mistress Mole may drink her fill, 

And quickly to her charge return. 
A tender charge ! 'Tis all her care, 

Four little sallow r , pale-faced things, 
Whose hideous jaws would make you stare, 

Whilst greedy gnawing what she brings. 

And brings she does great lots of food, 

For roads she has in each direction, 
Both straight, and curv'd through many a rood, 

And quite conceal'd from man's inspection. 
Now w r atch the earth-worm's hasty spring, 

Up from the sward (arous'd by fear), 
That eyeless, earless, limbless thing, 

Instinctive knows a Mole is near. 

Yet many a plump but sluggish worm, 
She smells, and catches, whilst asleep ; 



90 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

And in her jaws securely firm, 

Trails, wriggling, to her cavern keep. 

But mark the Rustic's direful spade, 
Thrust downward with relentless force ; 

The molehill's scattered o'er the glade ; 
The fam'ly crush'd without remorse ! 

June, 1852. 



AUTUMN OF 1852. 

Full fifty rolling years have I observ'd 
The human race by Heaven's kind hand preserv'd ; 
And now when Autumn's riches load the plain, 
Each beating heart should raise a grateful strain. 

Months have roll'd on since toiling man was seen 
With ruthless plough o'erturning all things green ; 
And next, with stately air and measur'd stride, 
In handfuls casting seed o'er ridges wide, 
Then with the harrow crushing crumbling earth, 
(Whence all the "bread of mankind has its birth) ; 
Unbending faith now fills man's hopeful mind — 
A crop must come, for Heaven is always kind. 

Nature's laboratory unimpair'd still yields 
Supplies exhaustless, ev'n to bleakest fields ; 
The soft'ning rain, cool hail, and shelt'ring snow, 
With brilliant sunshine stir Spring's vital glow 
O'er Earth's broad surface ; — nor their influence stop, 
Till Autumn gives her welcome, needed crop. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 91 

Man straggles hard, and often feels alarm, 

But Heaven grants increase, and protects from harm. 

See what abundance now the fields display, 
And yield their treasures to the reaper's sway ;— - 
The sickle, scythe, and ponderous machine, 
In friendly contest scour the ridges clean. 
No gleaners now for aprons fill'd may hope — 
No reaper suffers ev'n a stalk to drop : — 
And modern farmers must turn all to gold, 
Nor feed the poor with gleanings as of old. 

Soon now shall Harvest's closing scene appear, 
And well-fill'd barns and stack-yards crown the year ; 
Whilst young and old with heartfelt joy declare 
Heaven's ceaseless bounty and preserving care. 

Nov. 17, 1852. 



ASTONISHING DISCOVERIES. 

The Nineteenth Century, 'tis often said, 

Has seen more wonderful improvements made 

In Art and Science, than to us appears 

Were brought to light within last thousand years. 

Wond'rous the powers which man from Nature draws, 

When chance or study has disclos'd her laws. 

Now, as on swiftest wing we fly by steam, 
And o'er the Empire dance as in a dream ; 
No deep ravine retards our dashing pace, 
Nor lofty mountain checks the course we trace : 



92 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

From Scotia's wilds to Windsor's royal bowers 
The journey's ended in a few short hours; 
And wheresoever fancy bids us roam 
The willing steam can waft us from our home. 

But who Electric fluid's feats can tell? 
Wond'rous and far surpassing magic's spell ! 
On wire, as quick as thought, it words conveys, 
And truly tells whate'er its tutor says, 
Annihilating quite both time and space, 
And friends far distant places face to face, 
To tell their wants, their wishes, and their news, 
Their hopes, fears, business, — secrets if they choose. 
A Sunbeam now man's skill can so direct, 
As faithfully the human face depict ; 
In form and features more distinctly true 
Than old Appelles e'er with pencil drew. 

Of all things now that earth and sea produce 
Mankind contrive to find the proper use. 

Dec. 1, 1852. 



MEDITATION. 

The rapid development of every good quality in 
human nature ought to result from the numerous im- 
portant discoveries of the present century — Railways, 
Steamships, Electricity, &c, &c, giving facilities 
of communication for the diffusion of the knowledge 
of every thing that is useful, ornamental, or interest- 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 93 

ing, such as never at any previous period were en- 
joyed by mankind ; and, consequently, Art, Science, 
Liberty, Literature, and Religion, were never so fully 
understood as at present. 

An intelligent looker-on, from some celestrial orb, 
might well anticipate a speedy termination to crime 
and misery amongst us ; and that the various tribes 
of men and the different classes of society would soon 
be banded together as brothers, and equally partici- 
pate in the blessings of undisturbed peace, prosperity, 
aud happiness. But, alas ! facilities for degradation 
multiply as fast as opportunities for improvement, 
and their direful results accumulate with undeviating 
certainty. Benevolence, Charity, and Hope, stand 
appalled at the heart-rending condition of millions 
of our white and black brothers and sisters, whose 
restoration to virtue, happiness, and liberty appears 
impossible. But while the amelioration and com- 
plete improvement of the whole family of man seem 
to be tasks of very difficult and distant accomplish- 
ment, yet it becomes an imperative duty, and often a 
gratifying occupation for the most humble patriot to 
do all in his power for the relief of suffering humanity 
in his ov/n little circle. 

Dec. 21, 1852. 



94 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

A CONCEIT. 

EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY-TWO. 

As when fleet hounds the fleeter Bernard drive, 
(A num'rous pack — three hundred sixty-five) 
Onward they dash and make the echoes ring- 
Through fields and forests bearing marks of spring; 
Buds, blossoms, flowerets, ruthlessly are torn 
From tender stems, before the rousing horn. 

The scene soon changes, and the summer breeze 
Cools the firm turf, and fans the bending trees ; 
The rip'ning fruit the cautious hunter spares, 
Yet Beynard's pursuit soars o'er all his cares. 

" Forward, Hark Forward !" Autumn's echoes cheer 
The merry chase, and promise success near, 
And hounds, and huntsman, deem the promise true, 
For now old Beynard's brush appears in view : 
" Hold hard ! avoid the golden treasured field ; 
" And rows of bulbs these fertile levels yield." 

Still onward dash we, till the winter's storms 
Deprive the landscape of its loveliest forms, 
And now each hard-run, hung'ry, howling hound 
Has chas'd the game a year's four seasons round ; 
And as each nears the prey he louder cries, 
Besolv'd to frighten ere he seize the prize. 
Here Beynard stops, and boldly fronts his foes ; 
Next moment closes all his hopes and woes ! 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 95 

Just so ends Eighteen Hundred Fifty- two, 
Like well-chased fox run down when full in view, 
The noise increases as the end draws nigh, 
And dreadful storms disturb the sea and sky ; 
The foaming rivers desolation spread, 
And navies glide where teems were wont to tread, 
And tales of floods which mark this closing year, 
Shall fill our children's children's heart with fear. 

Dec. 29, 1852. 



TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

From Emperors down to Empirics the spirit of Ad- 
vertising seems to have inspired every class of public 
men, and it surely is a mystery cf no ordinary kind 
to find all our newspapers teeming with cures for 
every imaginable complaint of body or mind, and yet 
there is more pain, misery, sorrow, and despair 
amongst mankind at this moment than at any previ- 
ous era. Still it is right to give humanity every 
chance of bettering its condition, and hence is ob- 
servable the benevolent leaning of every advertise- 
ment. 

The Ruler of France has lately issued a very short 
advertisement — promising to preserve the peace of 
Europe, and fully develope the industrial resources 
of the French nation ; and (he might have added in 
Italics) to wipe off the Waterloo disgrace by the con- 
quest of Britain, 



96 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

The Derby Administration lost place and power by 
an unlucky advertisement, explanatory of its inten- 
tions. The New Ministry are hard at work prepar- 
ing an advertisement which must, I suppose, satisfy 
all grades of society, seeing the Cabinet is composed 
(as its sagacious chief announces) of Conservative 
Liberals and Liberal Conservatives ; and one promi- 
nent member of it (he who opened the letters of poor 
political refugees and betrayed them to the death) 
announces with pompous emphasis, " that they are 
determined to go on with reforms, with a powerful 
hand and a fixed purpose." Contentment and happi- 
ness are therefore within our grasp. 

The United States, too, will soon have a tremend- 
ous go-a-head advertisement, threatening, I fear, to 
swallow up in one great dose, all our North American 
fisheries, the Island of Cuba, the Empire of Japan, 
and the guano Islands of Peru : — but there will not 
be one word in it about liberty to the four millions of 
bondsmen who groan in agony under the most horri- 
ble tyranny that blots the annals of mankind. 

Jan., 11, 1853. 



ODE TO THE FROST. 

Fare-thee-well ! fickle Frost, 
Thou'rt no more the Curlers' boast. 

Winter comes, and winter goes, 
Thou bring'st neither Ice nor Snows ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 97 

Year after year thy calls have been 
Like angels', " few and far between." 

I can smile tho' thou'rt away, 
Yet I wish the Curlers' "play" 
And hope to see the setting sun 
"When Eglinton's bright prize is won. 

Like the Eagle, 'tis a prize 
Soaring aloft to anxious eyes ; 
And world-wide shall be the fame 
Of him who wins the " Noble Game." 



Feb. 1, 1853. 



THE NOBLE GAME. 

Yon Ivy-mantl'd Castle, on the height, 
O'erlooks ten thousand sources of delight ; 
Far in the west great Goatfell's shoulders rise, 
And seem to prop the azure-arched skies. 
Clyde's gilded waves, between, display a scene 
Admir'd and prais'd by Britain's beauteous Queen ; 
There ships of every flag and nation glide, 
And monster steamers dash through wind and tide, 

Ayrshire's rich lap unfolded lies to view — • 
Towns, villas, castles, farm-steads it bestrew ; 
Dundonald's lofty rocks and ruin'd Keep, 
Protecting Coila from the stormy deep ; 
While Irvine's sparkling stream wends down the vale 
(Where many a youthful bosom breathes its tale) 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



'Mongst fields, flocks, groves, woods, gardens, velvet 

plains, 
No richer scene broad Scotia's Isle contains. 

'Tis Craufurd Castle ; ancient, honour'd pile ; 
Where Nature sheds around her loveliest smile, 
Where long have dwelt a venerated pair — 
The gentle Chieftain and his Lady fair. 
When Spring appears, their undulating glades, 
Their slopes, and steeps, and dense umbrageous 

shades 
Swarm with a thousand Elfin guests, full bent 
On gath'ring lillies to their heart's content. 
And when fierce Winter locks the sylvan lake, 
And drives the swan his shelter'd roost to take, 
Kind Craufurd welcomes Curlers near and far, 
There to conclude their noisy civil war. 
Here oft is seen the mutual courteous fight 
When, lose or win, each warrior finds delight — 
But Yesterday produced the noblest game 
That Curlers' Archives ever yet could claim — 
A splendid vase, of solid silver, bright, 
Of ample margin, and of pond'rous weight, 
The Great, Good Earl of Eglinton displayed 
A prize for Ayrshire's Champions there array'd. 

With strength and skill begins the thund'ring fight 9 
On Ice as smooth as crystal, and as bright ; 
But Curling lore, being to my muse unknown, 
Nought can I record of each shot and stone ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 99 

Suffice it — long before the setting sun, 
Dundonald's gallant band the prize had won. 

Hurra ! Triumphant Dykes, thy name shall ring 
As long as Scotland's bards of Curling sing; 
Nor Thomson, Gibson, Cowan be forgot 
As long's the " Roaring Game" inspires the Scot. 

Well fought thou, Great Kilkerran, to the last, 
And firmly stood till fate's last die was cast ! 
Tho' vanquished now, thy trusty band soon may 
Attack the foe, and bear the prize away. 

Feb. 18, 1853. 



MARCH. 

Now Spring's reviving breath all nature warms, 
And tribes of life unnumber'd taste her charms. 
Wing'd insects forth from their abodes unseen, 
Where many a month encas'd in eggs they've been, 
Dance gaily in the sun's inspiring rays, 
Heedless how few their joy-enraptur'd days. 

The bee hums out from her sweet-scented cell, 
And busy pores through garden, wood, and dell, 
Nor cares how long her airy voyage be ; 
With brilliant burthen none more gay than she. 

Now love, the restless, clam'rous rooks inspires 
To colonize the trees, rocks, ruins, spires. 



100 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Where noise incessant, and fell discord tell 
That mankind's quarrels they can mimic well ; 
Yet 'midst the strife a sable brood appears 
Rewarding all their anxious hopes and fears. 

No more in crowds the little songsters fly, 
As when the winter's storms bedim'd the sky, 
But mate to mate in love's sweet bonds unite, 
And share each other's toils with fond delight. 
(Mild lesson this to many a human pair 
"Whose strifes are numerous and whose kindness rare.) 
Now every grade of animated things 
That crawl, run, swim, or soar on airy wings, 
Join in the raptures of connubial love 
(The sweetest drop of bliss from heaven above), 
And untold millions of descendants rear 
To live — be happy — die and disappear. 

The vegetable world, with em'lous smile, 
Yields not to life in reproductive toil, 
But buds, and blooms, and ripens fruit and seed, 
Which in succession vegetation breed : 
And thus, Spring after Spring the world renews, 
And Nature's lap re-fills for mankind's use. 

March 16, 1853L 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 101 



WONDERS. 

" "Wonders will never cease/' the proverb says, 

And wonders multiply in modern days ; 

'Tis wonderful that Britain " rules the roast " 

In every climate, and on every coast. 

Steamships and Railways are most wondrous 

things, 
And Telegraphic "Wire great wonders brings ; 
'Tis wonderful that Louis Napoleon 
Should sit so long upon the Gallic throne ; 
'Tis wond'rous, too, that Frenchmen — so acute, 
So fierce, so fiery — now submit so mute. 
And who does not with wond'ring gaze behold 
London's rich " cits " degrade themselves for 

gold, 
Flatt'ring a perjured tyrant's haughty pride, 
"Whose will is law (France knows no law beside), 
Peace the pretext : sweet olive branch, adieu! 
No blissful emblem thou with such a crew. 
"Wond'rous it is, and passing strange, to see 
Slavery's stronghold where liberty should be, 
And men by men in millions sold as brutes, 
While Jonathan, as Freedom's Champion, struts, 
'Tis wonderful to see our priesthood bow 
Like Idol-worshippers to Mrs. Stowe; 
And very wondrous is their fiery zeal 
To free black slaves, and all their sorrows heal. 



102 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

While home-bred slaves no sympathy may claim, 
'Tis wond'rous vulgar to be kind to them. 

BUSINESS. 

A wond'rous effort I have lately made 
To serve you well, and to extend my trade ; 
And I'll be wond'rous glad, I must confess, 
To find my energy command success. 

April 27, 1853. 



HOPES. 



My worthy friends, who long have been my prop, 

You all read my advertisements — I hope. 

Hope ever cheer'd me since my earliest days, 

And still shall warm me when mj^- life decays : 

Though good tilings hoped for I may never see, 

Yet Hope itself soothes and gives joy to me. 

I hope long-talked of blissful days are nigh, 

When none, as now, for work and wages cry ; 

When poor-laws, police, and war's murd'rous train 

Aside are cast, ne'er to be used again. 

I hope, if Europe cannot peace prolong, 

We'll help the weak, and gently curb the strong ; 

I hope that Britons all the world o'er 

May spread pure morals whilst they treasure store ; 

I hope that all the nations on the earth 

Will give us credit for our wealth and worth ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 103 

I hope Victoria long in peace may reign, 
And Britain's dignity and rights maintain ; 
I hope the French shall ne'er, with warlike host, 
Attempt invasion on our sea-girt coast ; 
I hope the Lords' and Commons' Houses may 
Stop Ireland's grumblings on an " early day ; " 
I hope that Scot to English ne'er shall yield 
Till Scotland's arms are right on Britain's shield ; 
I hope that genial rains and warmth may come 
To raise the Farmer's hopes of " Harvest Home ; " 
I hope that Science, Art, Commerce, and Trade, 
Shall flourish here, and never fail nor fade. 
Another Hope my hopeful mind still cheers — 
Your Patronage, as shown in former years ; 
And Hope, quite fervent, keeps my heart at ease, 
That my best efforts shall your fancy please. 

May 17, 1853. 



PITY. 



I Pity feel for those who cannot raise 
An awe-struck eye, and with deep reverence gaze 
On suns and systems, numberless, that move 
In mazy orbits, through the realms above. 
I pity those, with soul and sense obtuse, 
Who sip no joys from Nature's works profuse: 
For them the richest landscape has no charms, 
No sight sublime their frozen fancy warms ,• 



104 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

The ocean deep may heave, and boil, and roar. 

And climb with torrent-foam the rock-bound shore ; 

The forest, garden, river, hill, and vale 

May each, pathetic, tell a glorious tale ; 

Yet heedless crowds, wide staring every day, 

Don't understand one word that these things say. 

I pity those who, wrapp'd in selfish greed, 

Hoard wealth — by fair, or foul, or meanest deed. 

I pity him who does not wish to see 

His neighbours all as prosperous as he. 

I pity him whose kindness is confined 

To words or feelings lurking in his mind. 

I pity, too, the man whom love enthrals, 

And deep involves in matrimonial brawls. 

I pity workmen squand'ring all they win, 

And starve their fam'lies to enjoy their sin. 

I pity children who have never breath'd 

An atmosphere which vice has not bequeath'd. 

I pity much all who in rags are clad 

(The tender heart at such displays is sad) ; 

But glad would be should wealthy folks agree 

To clothe them well, and buy the clothes from me. 

A diffrent party must my pity share. 

Those who have plenty, and yet strut thread-bare. 

I pity those who slight the minstrel's strains : 

For why ? The muse the brightest truths maintains. 

For others' sorrows oft I heave a sigh, 
And wish all mankind were as happy's I. 

May 30, 1353. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 105 



WAR. 

Well I remember when the demon War 

Was hurl'd indignant from his gory car, 

And chas'd with his chief Captain and his host 

From all his fields of triumph, blood, and boast. 

At Waterloo, an Angel cried, " Let peace 

On Europe rest, and murd'rous warfare cease." 

A generation now has pass'd away, 
Who well enjoyed the fruits of victory ; 
But from the North alarms of coming war 
High hopes of lasting peace and friendship mar. 
The Russian despot, like some Polar bear, 
Growls out his threat, and flings his fiercest stare ; 
Collects his cubs, and with expanded paw 
Resolves to crush life, liberty, and law. 
What the pretence ? Commission to him given 
To shelter pilgrims on their road to heaven ! 
Impious ambition ! Shall success attend 
Such horrid means to work such holy end. 

Lives there a Christian who does not deplore 
One single soldier writhing in his gore ? 
And who will him a Christian monarch call 
Whose heart delights when fifty thousands fall ? 
And who the finest race of mankind, long 
Has aimed to subjugate with armies strong ! 



106 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Still Free, the brave Circassians on their hills, 
Vengeful, be-dye with Russian blood the rills. 
And stem Invasion's tide, and turn it back, 
While well-earn'd triumphs mark their gallant track, 
Dear Maids and Y^ives their patriot ardour cheer, 
And love the heroes whom their foes must fear. 

And should the Tyrant Czar attack the Turk, 
Heaven ! let him perish in the bloody work. 

June 28, 1853. 



TO THE JUVENILES OF AYRSHIRE. 

THE GREAT REBELLION. 
PART I. 

It happen'd once upon a time, 
But in what year or in what clime 
Perhaps not much concerneth you, 
Provided that the story's true ; 
And of its truth no one can doubt 
Who patiently can read it out : 
A great Rebellious Plot was laid 
To ruin much of mankind's trade, 
Threat'ning most boldly at no less 
Than forcing us to scanty dress, 
And scanty food too ; but the traitors 
"Will by their talk explain these matters. 

Birds, fishes, beasts, and insects too, 
Resolv'd their hardships to review ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 10? 

In solemn conclave to debate 

How best they might improve their state, 

And how in warfare to unite 

Their talents 'gainst man's tyrant might. 



Great was the gath'ring — such ne'er seen 
Since all were 'ranged on Eden's green, 
(That day when each received its name, 
And doubtless still retains the same) ; 
And 'twas a happy sight to see 
How Christian-like they did agree. 
The horse lock'd kindly on the frog, 
The hare sat smirking with the dog, 
The whale and shrimp exchanged a bow, 
The eagle nodded to the crow, 
And pussy with her silken paw 
Gave rat and mouse a friendly claw, 
The peacock with his outspread tail 
Made low obeisance to the snail, 
And joke-u-larly did remark 
" We both are beauties — in the dark." 
The goose and bird of paradise 
Conversed with most familiar voice, 
And goosey was o'er-heard to utter 
" You suck the flower — I suek the gutter." 
The elephant with lofty soul 
Deign'd social chit-chat with the mole, 
While Mr. Mole said, " Sir, no doubt 
You show by far the longer snout, 



108 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

But though it has extensive range 

My snout for yours I won't exchange." 

The pig — as all were glad to see — 

Grunted acquaintance with the bee, 

And whispered, " Since we two have met, 

What think you of a shrill duet ?" 

The cow, with unsuspecting stare, 

Walk'd up beside the polar bear, 

And questioned bruin in a trice — 

" How grows the grass upon the ice ?" 

The lion shook his mane with pride 

At lambkins frisking by his side, 

And thus to his provider said, 

" Jack, we must stop the hutching trade." 

The lark and thrush, devoid of fear, 

Sang, " Brother hawk, you're welcome here ; 

A concert we're resolved to start, 

Pray join the choir and sing your part." 

The brawling parrot and the mite 

Roosted together with delight ; 

The dolphin and the flying fish 

Enjoy 'd each other's warmest wish; 

The shark, the seal, the alligator 

Shrunk from offending any creature — 

Resolv'd to fast amongst the fishes 

Until supplied with other dishes. 

The silkworm and its feather'd foes 

Deplor'd with tears each other's woes, 

And hop'd their mutual love would last, 

With mutual pardon for the past. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 109 

The oyster, from her pearly bed, 
Tears mix'd with joy was seen to shed, 
"When surly crab in fond embrace 
Remov'd her to his resting place. 
The eider duck (with softest down) 
The herring's suff'rings did bemoan, 
And cormorants with craving maws 
Restrain'd their murth'rous bills and claws, 
And croaking to the fishes said, 
" Of us, pray, never be afraid." 
The partridge, pheasant, and the grouse, 
The owl, the weasel, and the mouse, 
The polecat, duck, teal, cock, and fox 
Continually were cracking jokes ; 
Whilst trout and salmon, perch and pike 
To otter's tusks showed no dislike, 
The swallow whispers to the fly 
" I'll ne'er eat you though I should die," — 
So spake the starling to the worm, 
Subdu'd it seem'd by friendship's charm, 

, But time would fail for me to name 
The countless living crowds which came, 
And stood in order side by side, 
Resolv'd the issue to abide ; 
Sufficient be it to declare 
All kinds of life— but man's — was there. 

July 23, 1853. 



110 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

TO THE JUVENILES OF AYRSHIRE. 

THE GREAT REBELLION. 
PART II. 

Now social chat to business was resigned 
And each expected to declare his mind. 

The Lion first the solemn silence broke, 
And in a tone of thunder thus he spoke ; — 
" My fellow suffrers since the world began 
We all have been the prey of greedy man ; 
Yet not by strength, but cunning he succeeds 
In all his cruel, mean, imperious deeds. 
At this our meeting we must careful be 
To act as cool and cautiously as he : 
First, then, let us a president provide 
"Who may our deep deliberations guide, 
And as no one at man's hand sutlers worse, 
I beg with deference to propose — The Horse." 

Assenting cheers arose from every voice ; 
All seemed delighted with their noble choice. 
Proud the majestic animal appear'd, 
And loftily his gallant crest was rear'd, 
Then pacing gently to th 7 appointed place, 
Address'd the throng with dignity and grace : 
" Your woes, my friends, I long have keenly felt, 
And in your cause oft fatal blows have dealt— 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. Ill 

Crush'd the oppressor underneath my hoof, 
And shall I now from warfare stand aloof ? 
No — as a coward never shall my name 
Be blotted from the brilliant scroll of fame ! 
In this our meeting I am sure each one 
Is quite resolv'd that something must be done 
To foil our foes, and scape their clutches free ; 
But what that something is, I cannot see. 
"With your permission I will soon explain 
How in our business we much time may gain ; 
As every one full keenly feels his grief, 
Let our first question be, * How find relief ;' 
For should you all, my woeful friends, desire 
To tell your pains and stir each other's ire — 
Detailing fully man's deceitful wiles, 
Man's bold attacks, man's demoniac smiles ; 
The * kill and eat' propensities of man, 
And all his vile tyrannic doings scan ; 
Patience exhausted, many would retire 
Before discussing what we most desire : 
Your gath'ring here full well attests your woes, 
Now let some one a remedy propose." 



Up spoke the Oyster from her rugged shell- 
" Good president, I think 'twould be as well, 
And clearly, Sir, promote the public good, 
If each his neighbour's sorrows understood ; 
For instance, mankind in the ocean dive, 
Catch us in shoals, and eat us up alive ! 



112 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

And ere they do so, pray just think of that, 

They try to guzzle us, and make us fat !" 

" And true this is of us," cried out the Mite, 

" Man takes ten thousand of us at a bite : 

A million of us at one sweep I saw, 

Engulphed within his all-devouring maw !" 

The Lobster said — " If you for horrors strive, 

Man never eats us till we'er boil'd alive ! !" 

" Man roasts us in our beds," the Silkworm shouts, 

" A case of awful torture, no one doubts ! 

How would mankind on all creation frown, 

If they but dreaded to be thus done brown ?" 

" Pray, my good friends," the President cried, " stop, 
Your useless moanings may extinguish hope ; 
Our business here will ne'er come to an end 
If to each case of sufFring we attend ; 
Your peaceful presence well proclaims your woes : 
Again I ask — A remedy propose !* 

Up rear'd the Serpent, glittering in the sun, 
" Good Sir," quoth he, " the next thing to be done 
Is, let a league of friendship here be sworn, 
And swift by heralds o'er all the world be borne — 
That no one frighten, injure, kill, or eat 
A living thing ; but vegetable meat 
Entirely use. Till this is understood, 
Hostile attempts on man can do no good." 
" Right !" howled the Fox, "I cheerfully comply, 
So rabbits, grouse, and poultry — all — good bye !" 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 113 

11 Right !" grinned the Wolf, " the fold is safe for me, 
Henceforth my food I'll gather from the tree !" 
" Right!" roar'd the Tiger, " deer and antelope 
May through the forest range with scatheless scope !" 
" Right !" growl'd the clumsy, greedy, grizzly Bear, 
"My tongue shall ne'er taste blood, I firmly swear!' 
" Right!" snarling swore the hideous Rattle-snake, 
" None shall I kill but men within my wake !" 
The frightful Alligator lash'd his tail, 
And swore, "no prey should e'er his jaws bewail!" 
And all the creatures with one voice proclaimed, 
They ne'er again for murder should be blam'd. 

Sworn was the league. The Serpent then did ask, 
" Who, as our heralds, undertake the task 
Of carrying through the earth, the air, the sea, 
The news of this our Grand Conspiracy ?" 
The Swallow soon attracted every eye, 
But, like all birds of passage, look'd quite shy, 
And when applied to, promptly twitter'd out, 
" Kind friends, of your esteem I have no doubt ; 
Your smiles encourage, though they won't preserve ; 
Therefore in this I can't your purpose serve* 
The Eagle quick enough may tidings spread, 
And, unlike me, no aerial foes will dread." 
"What!" shriek'd the Eagle, "do you think I'll 

roam, 
When I have quite enough to do at home ? 
I'll gladly serve you in some other way ; 
But, for such work, excuse me, Sirs, I pray." 



114 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Dumb now each voice ! Talk was an easy thing, 

But doing aught might tribulation bring. 

The herald's duty, slight though it appear, 

"Was shun'd by all through slothfulness and fear. 

This seen, the Elephant most wisely said — 

" Boldly ye talk — of work ye're all afraid. 

For man I long and patiently have toird, 

And oft of merited reward been foird ; 

Still in his service cheerful I'll remain, 

Than on mine honour bring a lasting stain. 

If man were but an animal like me, 

I soon from him would wrench your liberty ; 

But powers supreme within his spirit rest, 

So all on earth must yield to his behest ! 

May I, good President, presume to say, 

'Tis worse than useless to prolong delay. 

Let us at once retire, for now 'tis late, 

And share the ills which are ordained by Fate/' 

" Thanks to the President," the Lion moved — 
Briskly the Lamb with gen'rous bleat approv'd. 
Then all ran, swam, or in the air did soar, 
To kill and eat, and quarrel as before ! 

August 17, 1853. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 115 

THE SHEARER'S ADDRESS TO THE 
SHOWER. 

"Welcome messenger of ease, 
Kindly looming in the breeze ! 
In the dark horizon wide, 
(Enveloping crystal Clyde) ; 
When thy coming I foresaw, 
Tho' enwreathed with cloudy awe, 
Upward with a grateful gaze 
Gladly I proclaimed thy praise. 
Weary as the toil-worn beast, 
Rest preferring to a feast — 
Aching back, and arms, and knees, 
Crying piteous, " Give us ease !" — 
Grumble though the Farmers may, 
I joyful am on a rainy day. 

September, 1853. 



ODE TO MISS M. CUNNINGHAM, 

PRISONER IN TUSCANY FOR PROPAGATING "THE 
TRUTH." 

Fair Lady, why so far from home ? 
Hast thou defied the threats of Rome, 
And sufFer'st persecution's doom 

For heresy, 
Whilst thou may do great good, and roam 

At liberty? 



116 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Why hast thou left sweet Thornton's bowers, 
Where joyous flew thy youthful hours 
'Mongst hoary trees and brilliant flowers — 

A blissful scene ! 
To stare at Rome's dark tombs and towers, 

And cells obscene ? 

Nowhere on peaceful Scotia's soil 
Might pious zealot happier toil, 
And w 7 in the hearty, grateful smile 

Of humble worth, 
Than round the patriarchal pile 

That gave thee birth. 

Within the sound of Thornton's bell 
Hundreds of hard wrought Miners dwell ; 
Thy kindness might the comforts swell 

Of them and theirs, 
And calmly thou of Heaven might tell 

To ease their cares. 

Yes ! with thy wealth, thy charms, thy heart, 
How much of bliss might'st thou impart 
To those whose souls in secret smart 

With hopeless grief ! 
Like guardian angel, thou alert 

Might bring relief. 

Think on the poor thou should'st protect, 
Who pine and die in cold neglect ! 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 117 

For Italy — pray, what effect 

Has all thy zeal ? 
Thy mis-placed kindness, what respect ? 

Afehris Jail. 
October 4, 1853. 



OCTOBER. 

Approaching Winter, with his direful storms, 
Surrounding scenes and objects soon transforms. 
Few days are gone since foliage on the trees 
Was green and gay as in the summer breeze : 
The noble dahlia rear'd its glorious bloom. 
And bade defiance to the coming doom ; 
The hollyhock and all her brilliant train, 
In garden nurs'd or scattered o'er the plain, 
Blush'd innocently happy, breath'd perfume, 
Unconscious of the cloud's portentous gloom ; 
But down the torrent dash'd with fatal haste, 
And all the beauty of the world laid waste ; 
What flower perchance escaped the rain and wind, 
The frost destroys, and " leaves no wreck behind." 

The feather'd tribes, amaz'd at such a change, 
On desolation gaze with aspect strange, 
In spiral mazes see the clam'rous crows, 
Ascend in thousands from their fav'rite boughs, 
Aloft on vig'rous wing behold them poise, 
Then downwards dash with force and angry noise, 



118 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

The coming tempest deprecate with grief, 
And to dense forests hasten for relief. 
The little songsters ! whither have they fled ? 
The snell tornado lays them with the dead. 

October 25, 1853. 



DESPAIR. 

I now despair to live to see the day 

When wars are o'er, and armour thrown away ; 

When ships, with slumb'ring thunder, shall no more 

Defend us, or disturb a foreign shore. 

I now despair to live till tyrants all 

Resign their sway, and yield to Reason's thrall ; 

Or see the day when bondsmen's groans shall cease, 

And mankind live in harmony and peace. 

I now despair to live to see the time 

When man's career unsullied is with crime ; 

When truth is told in ev'ry Yea and Nay, 

And each can trust whate'er his neighbours say ; 

When robbing, stealing, cheating, are unknown, 

And ev'ry one shall quietly keep his own ; 

When buyers upon sellers may depend 

Implicitly on what they recommend ! 

And merchants (like myself) be always paid, 

And ne'er of faithless purchasers afraid. 

I now despair to live till such events 

As shipwrecks, fires, and railway accidents, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 119 

Shall cease to happen on our earthly sphere, 
# Nor tales of woe and horror wound the ear. 
I now despair to live till priests unite, 
And never more for creeds and dogmas fight. 
Despair I must, O muse ! to see the time 
When in my flights I soar like Burns — sublime ! 

November 22, 1853. 



HINT TO FARMERS. 

THE NEWSPAPER. 

Hark ! Cultivators of the fertile soil, 

Who day by day incessant ply your toil — 

Ploughing, digging, draining, sowing, reaping, 

Thrashing, cleaning, grinding, selling, keeping. 

How are ye guided in your operations ? 

How safely manage ye your speculations ? 

Do customs old benumb, deceive, arrest 

The lurking love of progress in your breast ; 

And keep in use each ancient implement 

With which your great -grandsires were quite content ? 

No ! I am well persuaded that you all 

Have now renounced old dotard Custom's thrall ; 

But still require a spur to onward movements 

Ere you adopt the very best improvements. 

And why you don't to me is plain as day — 

Few of you will for information pay. 

" Knowledge is power," as one and all should know, 

And good Newspapers full of knowledge glow. 



120 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

All of you should for useful knowledge pry, 
And each at least one weekly Paper buy. 

Don't lend or borrow as is customary, 

For then what's seen is glanced at in a hurry; 

But get, and keep, and carefully peruse 

A well-digested treasury of news — ■ 

"Where you, as o'er a world-wide map may roam, 

And cull, and bring all new inventions home ; 

Sift the debates which each new thing provokes, 

And store the truths discussion's key unlocks. 

Besides, your weekly monitor can tell 

Where best you may your ev'ry produce sell ; 

And where, in turn, all goods of every kind 

At cheapest rates you easily may find. 

You on the broad sheet always may depend ; 

Tis wise to teach, and powerful to defend. 

What is there in the world you want to know; 

The broad sheet ask, and it will quickly show. 

Is there a tyrant who dares crush your cause ? 

The sheet can scourge him better than the laws. 

Does calumny attack with envious pride ? 

The sheltr'ing sheet turns venom'd shafts aside. 

Does warm benev'lence prompt to glorious deeds ? 

The sheet will point the path where glory leads ; 

And when the muse poetic fires the soul, 

The sheet wide-wafts your themes from pole to pole ; 

When love invites to matrimonial bliss, 

The sheet abroad proclaims your happiness ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 121 

And from such bliss — sure the deduction's fair — 

It duly records " birth of son and heir !" 

At last, when all your toils on earth are o'er, 

It sounds your praise, and tells how friends deplore ! 

December 18, 1853 



THE PATRIOTIC FUND. 

It is an undeniable fact that the Empire of Great 
Britain has been raised to its present lofty position 
by the strength, skill, bravery and activity of her 
Army and Navy ; indeed her very existence as an 
independent political body depends upon their 
efficiency. But is it not a melancholy fact that 
hitherto our Legislators have never provided a fund 
for the maintenance of the Widows and Orphans 
of the killed, and of the Wives and Families of our 
disabled Soldiers and Seamen ? No, no ! This 
would have been a stretch of justice and humanity, 
totally at variance with the grasping disposition of 
our Rulers to secure the largest possible grants of 
public property to their Marlboroughs, Nelsons, 
and Wellingtons — as if none but the Commanders 
had merit in our victories; whereas, it is evident 
that without the hearty self-devotion of our Working 
Classes, no laurels and rewards would have been 
lavishly heaped upon any such distinguished person- 
ages. Now the generosity of the nation is appealed 



122 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

to for a " Patriotic Fund," to make up for the unpa- 
triotic, unchristian conduct of our Legislature. 

At a meeting of bankers and merchants in London 
on Thursday last, Lord John Russell stated — " It 
" has been the opinion of Parliament hitherto, that 
11 such grants could not be made on ordinary occa- 
" sions without leading to great abuses of such 
" grants. * * * * And it is to the voluntary 
" zeal, to the voluntary liberality of the people of 
" this country that we must look to supply the 
" necessities of these widows and orphans." "What 
" great abuses" could Parliament imagine would be 
committed by the legally-appointed distributors or 
deserving recipients of such a fund ? Verily, the 
Widows and Orphans of our working warriors would 
be too well watched by Government officials to be 
guilty of inroads on the public purse. Perhaps sus- 
picion rested elsewhere. But what will Lord John 
Russell say to the " great abuses," alias wholesale 
robberies, which the opinion of Parliament has al- 
lowed to continue and accumulate for the last 150 
years, in the shape of pensions, sinecures, bishoprics, 
&c, &c, &c. ? And how would he relish the pro- 
posal of casting upon the voluntary zeal, and the 
voluntary liberality of the People, the duty of raising 
funds annually for the support of all the splendour 
of our Monarchical Institutions, the efficiency of our 
Army and Navy, and every paid official, high and 
low, throughout the Empire, without any taxation at 
all? This would be a glorious scheme, worthy of 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS, 123 

the patronage, one might think, of such a liberal- 
minded legislator as Lord John Russell ! and, more- 
over, a scheme equally just and merciful as that of 
handing over to public sympathy the duty of sup- 
porting those who are near and dear to our noble- 
minded warriors, whose unwearied exertions, indomi- 
table patience, and sacrifice of life, keep every inch 
of our inimitable Empire in existence ? 

How many grants are almost instantaneously 
agreed to by Parliament, which the people oppose or 
reluctantly sanction ? But no act of justice could 
be proposed by our Legislature which would meet 
with a more unanimous approval of the community 
than a Fund for the support of our Warriors' "Wives, 
Widows, and Families. But our present unscrupu- 
lous rulers well know (under the guise of philan- 
thropy) how to take advantage of the benevolent 
feelings of the people during the present terrible 
conflict, whilst they and their favourites can revel on 
a surplus revenue, and let those who personally feel 
for the hitherto Government-neglected Widows and 
Orphans look after their future welfare. The interest 
of the Twenty Millions of Pounds sterling extracted 
from our pockets to pay for the abolition of Black 
Slavery in the West Indies, would have been far 
more than sufficient to keep in comfort, from gene- 
ration to generation, the humble dependants of all 
our suffering soldiers and seamen. And even now 
our present Government might well grant — if so in- 
clined — a sufficient " Patriotic Fund" out of last ses- 



124 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATION'S. 

sion of Parliament's most oppressive taxation, with- 
out missing it 

November 6, 1854. 



LAMENT FOR COLONEL BLAIR, M.P. 

Mourn, Ayrshire, mourn ! but yield not to despair, 
Tho' thou hast lost thy gallant Colonel Blair ! 

Proudly thou heard'st his senatorial voice : 
The common weal, not Party, was his choice. 
Whatever might his native land improve, 
Whate'er misrule, abuse, or crime remove, 
Whate'er defend the right, the wrong oppose, 
Increase our happiness, or soothe our woes, 
Arous'd his Scottish heart, inspir'd his tongue, 
And wisdom listen'd, whilst the echoes rung ! 

Nor was his private and his social worth 
Less honourable to his noble birth ; 
And his was not that Pharisaic soul 
Which would the joyous sports of men control, 
And check the mirth of race-course, chase, or fair, 
Because there might things mal-a-prop be there. 
But duty called him to the battle-field, 
To stop a Tyrant, and his victim shield : 
Promptly he hastens unto realms afar, 
Where savage hordes add horror to the war ; 
And dashing through the fight at Inkermann, 
Where blood of friend and foe in torrents ran, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 125 

With British boldness hail'd a hero's death, 
And sacrificed to Freedom his last breath ! 

His manly features I can ne'er forget, 
Until, like his, my sun of life is set ; 
And whilst with thee, Ayrshire ! mourn his fate, 
Feel, too, thy loss, with heart oppress'd regret, 
Still must I hope that his example bright 
Shall soon another son of thine excite 
To senatorial honours ; and, like Blair, 
If called on, Briton's toils and glories share ! 

Nov. 28, 1854 



TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

A guid New Year I wish you a', 

And ev'ry day it lasts 
May nae misfortunes you befa', 

Nor sad bereavement's blasts. 

May lairds and tenants aye agree 

On politics and rent ; 
May lads and lasses rant wi' glee, 

And cottars be content. 



May tailors, weavers, artizans, 
0' ilk denomination, 



126 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Hae routh o' wark to fill their hauns, 
And rich remuneration. 

May sailors bold and soldiers brave 
Let Russians feel their mettle, 

And speedily on land and wave 
The Eastern quarrel settle. 

May blythesome Peace around the earth 

On ev'ry nation smile, 
And lovers' joys and social mirth 

Continue in our Isle. 

May Queen Victoria reign as long 

As you and I can pray ; 
And to her, ere I end my song, 

Let's shout, Hip, Hip, Hurra ! 

January 1, 1855. 



RURAL LIBERTY. 

(Air— "Scotland YeW) 

Let grandeur brag o 7 mansions fine, 
0' couch and carpet rare, 

O 7 bed o' down, and silks that shine, 
Gie' me the open air ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 127 

The air, the open air for me, 

The air that's unconfined, 
Whar mind and body baith are free — 

As free's the rust'ling wind ; 
I'll struggle wi' my latest breath 

For air that's unconfin'd. 



"Wha can enjoy life's cheering sweets 

Unless he strolls the fields, 
And gazing, gath'ring, gratefu' greets 
The flowers his roaming yields. 

The fields — the fragrant fields — are mine 

"Whae'er their owners be ; 
Let heartless pomp in castles pine, 

But gie the fields to me : 
I'll love t' range the open fields 
Until the day I dee. 



The daisy peeps out o' the lawn, 

The primrose frae the dell, 
Wi' simmer morning's earliest dawn 
Up springs the proud blue bell ; 
The heather, too, expands it's flower 

Whene'er the sun looks down ; 
The stately fox-glove courts the shower, 

And smiles at Nature's frowns ; 
I glory to survey them all, 
And think I wear a crown. 



128 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

The burnie trickles down the hill, 

And dives frae rock to linn, 
It's bright foam bells are never still 
And ceaseless is its din. 

Wi' wid'ning wave fast through the glen 

It steals wi' modest grace, 
While far awa it's winding den 

Wi' gladsome e'e I trace, 
Till in the ocean's heaving breast 
It meets a fond embrace. 

The feather'd warblers swell their throats 

On twig and soaring wing, 
In social concert join their notes 
A mirthful glee to sing. 

The bleating flocks and lowing kine 

Carrol upon the lea ; 
The wee, wee fishes sparkling shine, 

And skim the fountain free — 
I echo the undying theme, 
Hurra for liberty ! 



CORONATION ODE, 

TO HIS MOST EXCELLENT MAJESTY KING GEORGE IV. 

Great George, you now are king indeed, 
The crown is placed upon your head ; 
Long may you wear and well become it, 
Of glory may you gain the summit. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 129 

And may your crown, of purest gold, 
Like rights of Briton's, ne'er be sold, 
But sparkle without rust or stain, 
While lasts your gay and prosperous reign. 

Also, I humbly pray and wish, 

That you may never want a dish 

Quite to your taste — game, beef, or mutton, 

And aye have royal robes to put on. 

For, George, to tell the candid truth, 

Times are much alter'd since our youth : 

Then you could get your taxes paid, 

And we could drive spaying trade. 

The very lowest then in Killie, 

Could get of eggs and ham their fill aye ; 

And all the operative tribes, 

As well as doctors, priests, and scribes, 

Could daily upon sirloin dine, 

And wear true Saxon superfine. 

Still we get food, and thank Heaven for't, 

Although it's of the coarsest sort, 

But bid adieu to roast and boil, 

And all the sweet's of India's soil. 

Our wardrobes, which were fully pack'd, 

Are now by poverty ransack'd ; 

And every dud to dud we patch, 

And care not how the colours match. 

And should dull trade reduce us poorer, 

I greatly dread there's nothing surer 



130 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Than that we shall not pay what's due, 
To prop the splendour, Sire, of you. 
Yet Hope supports — we'll do our best, 
And leave to Providence the rest. 
And now, Great George, I must conclude 
My loyal Ode — though worded rude, 
By praying Heaven to be so kind, as 
Preserve you always compos mentis ; 
To all your projects grant success, 
And keep your kingdom from distress : 
And may your arms our lives protect, 
And justice all our wrongs correct. 
May Hunt and Radicals ne'er vex you, 
And gallant Queens no more perplex you. 
Thus pray I, on the nineteenth July, 
And will through life, devout and truly, 
I am, Great George, — imploring grace, 
Your faithful subject — Socrates. 

July 19, 1821. 



LYRIC ODE. 

Cupid's reign is o'er ! 

All his wounding store 

Is blunted quite ! And ore 

Dug from the caverns of Peru, 

Eefin'd and stamped " Ferdinand,' 3 
Can brightest beauty quickly woo, 

And win both heart and hand 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 131 

O what charms has Gold ! 
Its virtues can't be told ! 
It youthful makes the old ! 
It elevates the vulgar mind ! 

Gives sweetest grace to surliest face 
And warms and softens hearts unkind 

And dignifies the base ! 

Splendour follows cash. 

Nay, Muse, hold : why so rash? 

For the miser will not dash, 

Tho' he should have a pretty slave, 

(Whose heart for gold was fairly sold,) 
To deck his house : 'twill be a grave, 

Lock'd, lonely, mean, and cold. 

September 18, 182L 



ODE TO MY PARLOUR FIRE. 

Benignant frien' accept my thanks, 
For warming aft my shiv'ring shanks, 
As aft my frost-bent fingers straighted, 
And banes and sinews thaw'd and righted ,• 
And, O what loye I most humbly sweet, 
Thou sometimes fa's to kiss my feet. 
When wily maids my heart perplex, 
Or Fortune's flirts my noddle vex, 
Or faithless Men's my secrets tell, 
Or grief, or rage, my bosom swell, 



132 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Then from life's scenes I quick retire, 
To thee, my blazing Parlour Fire, 

Bachelor. 

April 1st, 1820. 



ODE TO CECILIA. 

To thee, Cecilia, I resign 

My beating heart ! it shall be thine, 

Yet mark, a price I must demand — 

Thy kind heart and thy lovely hand : 

Nor stare, my love, as something strange 

Were meant by this proposed exchange, 

For separation's not intended, 

But that our hearts in one be blended. 



FRAGMENT. 

Altho' Dame Nature has been wondrous kind 
In making us to all thafs future blind ; 
And with a dark impenetrable screen, 
Prevents hereafter scenes from being seen. 

Yet youthful hopes, and fears, and joys reveal, 
In shadowy dreams, what Fate's decrees conceal : 
Thus does the throbbing heart of am'rous maid, 
Of favor'd lovers faithfulness afraid, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 133 



Suggest how Gypsies foresight may explain 
The truth or falsehood of her doubtful swain ; 
And more confesses and confides to those, 
Whose face she knows not, than whose face she 
knows. 



A CANADIAN SONG. 

(Air— " When the Kye come Hame.") 

Come a' ye jovial Bushmen, and listen unto me, 
All ye who can appreciate the sweets of liberty, — 
We are not now, as once we were, beneath the 

tyrant's paw, 
We feel that freedom is our lot in Upper Canada. 

We need not now to bow and scrape, and beg for 

leave to toil, 
Nor dread oppressive tyranny, — on Freedom's charms 

we smile ; 
We only grieve for those we love, who groan ; neath 

cruel law, 
And wish they were as free as we in Upper Canada. 

We range the stately forest, without the fear of foe, 
And with our friends partake in peace of joy where'er 

we go ; 
We join the dance, and swell the song, nor care the 

world a straw, 
For here we're met, and bienly set, in Upper Canada. 



134 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

We range our fertile healthy fields without the least 

annoy, 
And when our lab'ring time comes on, we plough our 

fields with joy; 
We have no haughty landlords, — our lairdships have 

no flaw, 
For here we're met, and snugly set, in Upper Canada. 

O could our friends in Scotia but land upon our 

shore ! 
Then hunger, woe, or slavery, they ne'er would suffer 

more. 
We'll drink their healths in a full bowl, and wish 

they but us saw, 
Then they and theirs would soon be lairds in Upper 

Canada. 

And merry boys, — may they bring their sweet- 
hearts fresh and fair, 

And bonny lasses, too, decoy their lads, love's joys to 
share, 

Nor want's stern threats, nor rank's fell pride, dare 
check kind Nature's law — 

For there's room and wealth for millions yet in Upper 
Canada. 

And now my jolly Bushmen, let's through the forest 

drive, 
To shoot, to hunt, to fish, to rove, until our friends 

arrive ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 135 

No vile game laws prevent us — no haughty lordlings 

draw 
A sacred line around their fields in Upper Canada. 

No lawyers perplex us, with bonds, and wills, and 

deeds, 
Our climate's so refreshing that none a doctor needs, 
No state-priests here gape with insatiable maw 
On the produce of our industry in Upper Canada. 



A SAD PROPHECY ! 

DEDICATED TO THE PEOPLE OF AYRSHIRE. 

Dark o'er my soul a lowering cloud, 
With fitful flash and thunder loud, 
Foretells a coming dreadful blast, 
Shall Britain crush before 'tis past. 
Far in the East the cloud arose, 
Amidst the strife of direful foes : 
Dense and more dense — progressive still — 
Wide and more wide, o'er vale and hill, — 
Westward it wends, with gloomy stride, 
Threat'ning to quench Britannia's pride. 
Yes, Britain, thou hast long sustained 
A glory which thy worth had gain'd ! — 
A glory which, o'er land and sea, 
All other nations envied thee ! — 



136 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

A glory which thy sons have sung, 

Echo'd by sage and savage tongue ! 

Now faithless friend and crafty foe, 

Unite to bring thy glory low. 

Thy foe shall stand when all thy power 

Is spent like summer's dewy shower : 

And thine Imperial ally then 

Shall conquer, and o'er Britain reign. 



WELL MEANT HINTS TO THE WANT- 
FEELING TRADESMAN. 

Everybody knows that a depressed trade occa- 
sions a distressed people. Want of commerce 
occasions want of work, want of work occasions 
want of wages, and want of wages occasions the 
want of the necessaries of life. Although as a na- 
tion our commercial affairs are not flourishing, 
neither are they so blasted as some would have us 
believe. Let us therefore be thankful for such 
things as we have. But if thou art a very poor man, 
and hast lost heart, and art almost sunk under the 
pressure of want, and hast no money in thy pockets 
wherewith to buy the needful, and art pondering in 
thy melancholy mind what shift to try, in order to 
improve thy circumstances ; despair no longer, I will 
put thee on a plan which will do thee good — which 
will brighten thy languid eye, and cheer thy freezing 
heart, and warm thy shivering frame ; and cause the 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 137 

voice of mirth to be heard in thy hall, and thy table 
to groan with the hospitable dinner, and inspire thee 
to walk in the streets and public places with a firm 
and fearless step, and an enlivened undaunted 
countenance, which defies the debtor's blush. My 
plan is short and simple : It will neither tire thy 
patience, nor perplex thine understanding. It will 
moreover be easily remembered. It consists in two 
general rules — 

1st. — Be Industrious. 
2nd. — Be Economical. 

To be industrious, thou must exert thy utmost 
vigilance in procuring work, and when thou hast 
found it, be careful and diligent in doing it well, 
and with all possible dispatch. For by doing it 
well thou wilt satisfy thy employer, and by doing it 
quickly thou wilt — if paid by the piece — gain greater 
wages. Or if paid by the day, thy activity and good 
workmanship will procure thee the best wages, and 
insure thee of employment when work is to be got 
by any one. But he who is careless of his duty 
when paid by the day, will find masters careless, nay 
unwilling to employ him when work is scarce. Hon- 
esty is therefore always, and in all cases the best 
policy. Never lose a day's work because it is a 
custom with thy neighbours to go idle on Saturdays. 
By losing the Saturdays, they lose about four pounds 
a-year, at the rate of 18<#. per day. But to encourage 
thee still further in thy industrious habits, consider, 



138 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

that if thou canst earn twopence halfpenny an hour, 
by working a single extra hour every day, thy yearly 
income will be increased three guineas ; and three 
guineas is no mean sum : they will pay the rent of a 
commodious room, or purchase a good new suit of 
clothes, or answer many useful purposes. 

But thou must be economical as well as industri- 
ous, if thou wish to profit by my advice. All thy 
industry will avail thee nothing if money burns thy 
pockets : but in order to guard against this calamity 
never attempt to carry more pocket-money than 
twopence. Beware ! beware of carrying pocket- 
money : I assure you I have lost fifty pounds by 
pocket-money. Pocket-money frequently deprives 
men of their reason, or at least engenders habits 

which their reason cannot counteract. Many an 

excellent tradesmen no sooner receives his wages, 
than the sum total is melted into that most destruc- 
tive of all liquors, Whisky. (O Wliisky, Whisky, 

thou art the ruin, the misery, the death of thousands ! 
Many a sad bereavement hast thou occasioned. Many 
ivives hast thou widowed ; and many happy children 
hast thou made destitute orphans. A curse attends 
thy intoxicating vapours ; and demons watch thy de- 
luded votaries.) Drinking is a dangerous vice ; and 
the more so, because thy companions will mock thee 
as a coward when thou refuses t to join thy shilling 
and drink thy share. But show thyself a bold, and 
wise, and honourable man, by resisting the entreaties, 
and despising the jeers, of all such revellers. If thy 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 139 

acquaintances laugh at thee to-night because thou 
wilt not drink, remember that the scale will be 
turned to-morrow, when with painful heads and 
empty pockets they will envy thee, whose prudence 
preserved thy head from aching, and retained thy 
money for necessary purposes. 

Extravagant eating, too, is not only the cause of 
extreme poverty, but the source of numberless dis- 
eases. The plainest food is the best for both body and 
purse. But thou wilt (as I did) find it hard to con- 
vince thy palate and appetite of this incontrovertible 
fact. But let reason rule, and I am sure a month's 
abstinence from thy accustomed luxuries will com- 
pletely cure thy stubborn inclinations. For thy 
encouragement in the practice of frugality, consider 
that by saving sixpence per day (which appears to 
be a mere trifle), thou wilt accumulate nine pounds 
of clear cash in a year. Many a nine pounds is lost 
entirely for want of this piece of information. Nine 
pounds is a great sum in these days of general 
scarcity ; even the third part of it, which is 2 d. per 
day, for a year will look very respectable in company 
with the three extra guineas which I told thee how 
to gain. 

To conclude : — I sincerely admonish thee habitu- 
ally to practice industry and economy if thou wouldst 
live comfortable, contented, and happy. Strive to 
obtain as great an income as thou honestly can ; and 
strive to board, and clothe, and lodge, as cheap as 
possible ; yet abhor the filthy meanness of the miser. 



140 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

I know some misers in the higher ranks of society, 
who pilferously pocket the dainties which their 
neighbours' tables present. Lose none of thy time, 
spend none of thy money unnecessarily ; strive to lay 
up something for thy maintenance in old age, for 
then thou wilt neither be able to work nor want, and 
begging is a bad shift. All sorts of vice are either 
expensive, painful, or sinful, therefore avoid them ; on 
the contrary, industry and frugality not only lead to 
wealth, but are estimable as virtues. 

The wisest and best of Beings, who gave and sup- 
ports our existence, sometimes in great kindness 
prevents the diligent from becoming rich, because he 
knows that more than a competency would produce 
pride and ingratitude in their minds, or destroy their 
bodily frames by indolence and luxury, or because they 
would make gold their idol, and virtually worship the 
work of their own hands. Therefore ask His bless- 
ing, which alone, and which only can make thee 
truly happy, and be humble minded whilst thou art 
diligent and persevering in the arts of accumulating 
wealth. 

I am, Sir, 

Thy Friend, 

G. GOODINTENT. 

October 10, 1820. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 141 



LECTUEE ON THE MINOR POETS. 

In defiance of the superstitious prejudices of our 
ancestors, and the benumbing influence of early edu- 
cation, a spirit of liberty manifests itself in all our 
investigations of whatever lives and moves and has a 
being around us. Without the risk of excommunica- 
tion by the priesthood, it may now be asserted that the 
Glorious Orb of day does not daily revolve round the 
comparatively insignificant lump of earth upon which 
we exist : that Witchcraft is now a harmless science : 
that the tribes of brownies, and fairies, and water- 
kelpies which often annoyed and disturbed, and some- 
times ruined families, in various districts of Scotland, 
were either imaginary, or creatures of such delicate 
nerves (notwithstanding their boasted hardihood)' 
that the brightening torch of intelligence has com- 
pletely scared from our island. Now, I may with 
safety assert my belief that every creature of every 
kind, animate and inanimate, exists for some specific 
and important purpose; and that each individual 
amongst the endless catalogue of existences, has been 
expressly appointed to fulfil some wise, some bene- 
volent design, either as an actor in the grand universal 
drama, or as constituting a part of Nature's splendid 
theatre: but it is a task from which the brightest 
human philosopher may shrink, to explain, and to 
prove to your entire satisfaction, how this grain of 
sand, or that particle of earth — how this individual 



142 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

worm, or that particular insect serves an important 
purpose, and what that purpose happens to be. 
Equally mysterious is the question — How are noxious 
weeds, poisonous reptiles, and vicious men necessary 
to the general welfare and happiness of the universe ? 
Although I venture not to answer these queries, 
yet I have no more doubt that they may be satisfac- 
torily solved, than I doubt that ripened wheat and 
fattened oxen are useful in supporting human life, or 
that a beautiful and virtuous woman is the most lovely 
and attractive object in the world. But without 
farther remarks upon the general proposition (that 
all things are useful), I shall humbly attempt to ex- 
hibit the utility of the Minor Poets of all ages and 
countries, and endeavour to convince you that they, 
and their compositions, are entitled to a far higher 
degree of honourable regard than they have hitherto 
been doomed to receive from the uninspired classes 
of their fellow mortals. It will not be denied that 
poets have existed wherever language was understood, 
and, that in all probability, at the present moment a 
greater number court the Muses than at any earlier 
period of human history ; nor will it be denied that 
only a very few names of the ancient, and a select 
number of the modern poets, are sweetly embalmed 
by universal admiration and esteem; all the rest 
having sunk, or are fast sinking into irretrievable 
oblivion. Unbounded applause, approaching to 
idolatrous adoration, has age after age been cheerfully 
conceded to Homer and Virgil, Shakespere and Mil- 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 143 

ton, Dryden and Pope — yet, alas ! how many thousands 
of excellent, but less fortunate, rivals must have exist- 
ed, the great majority of whom are forgotten ; and 
that they existed at all is a matter of strong probabil- 
ity and not of historical certainty. How melancholy 
the thought that struggles for immortality should be so 
generally unsuccessful, and that the heavenly flame 
of poetic ardour should be so often and so speedily ex- 
tinguished! But while you sympathise with my 
sorrow hi deploring the want of an imperishable 
record of all the names of the sons of song, I feel 
convinced you will cheerfully join me in investigating 
the title to our gratitude and praise which the minor 
poets in general possess, and particularly those with 
whom our own country and our own neighbourhood 
have been graced. Had it been possible for me to 
discuss in a single lecture this important subject in 
such a regular and clear manner as its importance 
demands, I would have endeavoured to prove to you, 
by exhibiting specimens of their productions, that the 
minor poets are — 

1. A Most Observant Class of Beings. 

2. A Communicative Class. 

3. An Instructive Class. 

4. An Amusive Class. 

5. A Reproving Class. 

6. An Encouraging Class. 
7* A Sympathizing Class. 

8. An Animating Class. 

9. An Inventive Class — whose creative fancy 



144 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

adds value to all their other qualities. But as neither 
your time nor my present circumstances allow such a 
lengthened and systematic affair, I must confine 
myself to a few detached observations hurriedly 
jotted down in the intervals of business. 

The minor poets are a most numerous and obser- 
vant class of beings. Nothing within the circum- 
scribed sphere of the little poet escapes his notice. 
The humbler his talents, the more minute are the 
matters which attract his attention and excite his 
muse ; and the simpler and more easily understood 
are the details of his song. With avidity he pounces 
upon every conceivable oddity — every imaginable 
novelty ; — and heedless of the lofty flights of sublim- 
ity, classic style of language, grammatical accuracy, 
and even without any fixed plan for a guide, hurries 
into rhyme the outlines of his subject or the facts of 
his story, interspersing reflections, and deducing 
moral lessons with a rapidity which would often 
astonish the most famous amongst the Leviathans 
of literature. Events past, present, and future — 
things visible and invisible, shadowy and substantial, 
palpable and impalpable, real and imaginary — things 
even so insignificant as to elude the notice of ordin- 
ary mortals ; all, all come within the range, and are 
reflected into realities of value, by the magic mirror of 
the minor poet's imagination. 

Great poets, whose names are borne high on 
the wings of fame from century to century, may 
well be compared to those opulent merchants whose 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 145 

fleets of ships sweep the coasts of a continent, 
gathering its valuable produce and rare luxuries 
for the purpose of supplying other distant quar- 
ters of the globe with wholesale quantities — mer- 
chants who are the associates of monarchs and 
of nobles — merchants, whose profitable traffic is 
the support of thrones, whose dwellings are metro- 
politan palaces, and whose equipages often surpass 
in splendour the displays of princes. This class of 
merchants are not generally accessible to the ordin- 
ary purchasers of goods, but must be approached in 
all their mercantile transactions through the medium 
of privileged and licensed brokers. Something 
analagous to this may be remarked concerning all 
the renowned poets of antiquity. Translators are 
necessary to render their poetry intelligible, and 
commentators requisite to display their wit. But 
the class of poets to w T hose merits I now solicit 
your attention, and whose humble qualifications 
scarcely suffice to keep their names afloat during the 
period in which they live, need not the aid of inter- 
preters nor commentators; nor are their persons 
secluded from the public gaze, or the social inter- 
course of those who courteously desire their company. 
No, their themes are always within the mental grasp 
of all the individuals composing the little circle in 
which they move ; their language and style is seldom 
clogged with the mysteries of refined literature, and 
their wit generally flashes in all its brilliancy upon 
the understanding so as never to be mistaken for 



146 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

what it is not, nor remain concealed where it happens 
to exist. Unlike the great merchants to whom I 
have compared the highest rank of poets, the minors 
(to follow out the figure) resemble the snug little 
skopkeepers, who are thickly planted in all the villages 
of our empire, whose places of business, though 
small, contain an extensive assortment of eatable and 
drinkable, useful and ornamental articles — toys, 
trinkets, and nick-nacks innumerable ; so that man, 
woman, and child, of every rank, condition, and 
character in the place may be accommodated — 
especially as the stock is generally intended to suit 
the precise taste, appetite, and circumstances of 
expected customers. The great merchant will not 
accommodate the community with any other than 
large wholesale quantities of the goods which 
he imports ; but the little village dealer thankfully 
sells to anybody the value of the smallest current 
coin. 

So it is with the great and the minor poets. The 
former care, or affect to care, little or nothing about 
the admiration and praise of the vulgar herd of 
mankind. Being anxious only to obtain and secure 
the approving smile of monarchs, courtiers, noble- 
men, and their consequent patronage, they generally 
attempt epic, dramatic, and other lengthy and tire- 
some kinds of poetry. "Whereas, the latter (the 
minors) regularly confine themselves to the production 
of short, lively, detached pieces — always adapted, 
as nearly as they can, for attracting popularity, and 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 147 

extorting applause and patronage, from the multi- 
tude around them. 

I am humbly of opinion that poetry is one of the 
principal ties by which human society is kept to- 
gether all over the world. By poetry society is 
established ; by poetry it is improved ; by poetry it 
is refined ; by poetry it is renovated ; by poetry it is 
strengthened; and by poetry it will ultimately be 
perfected. I do not positively affirm that poetry 
alone, and unaided, must accomplish these things, 
but, merely, that it is a principal ingredient in their 
realization, I look upon all the inhabitants of this 
globe as parcelled out (if the mercantile expression 
may be tolerated), or divided and subdivided into 
circles, of every different degree of extent. By igno- 
rance these circtes are kept small, by knowledge they 
are enlarged. In his natural state man knows little 
else than what goes on in his own family ; next he 
learns something of his immediate neighbours ; by 
and bye he knows and is acknowledged by a cluster 
of families, who, in Scotland, are denominated clans. 

Was there ever a Highland Clan without a Bard ? 
For a thousand years before Ossian sang of War and 
of Love, down to the present hour, the Highlanders of 
every clan had their bard. Though many of these 
bards in our day are very obscure, and very illiterate, 
still they delight with their metrical compositions 
every rank and class of the mountaineers who under- 
stand their language. I have witnessed the lord of 
an hundred hills, whose dominions extend in all 



148 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

directions farther than the eye could reach, and the 
herd of a score of black-faced lambs, alike attentive 
to, and alike deeply affected by, the pathetic and the 
soul-stirring strains of their native poets ; strains too, 
which, like Ossian's in their original glory, were not 
debased by undergoing the vulgar and humiliating 
process of writing. 

Writing is to Gaelic Poetry, and to many of 
the productions of some of our minor poets, what 
chaining or imprisonment is to the stag or to 
the lion. Look at these noble sons of the forest 
as they roam in their native freedom ! Who does 
not admire them ? Who does not fear them ? Are 
they not elegant in their movements, sublime in their 
gambols, terrible in their rage, dreadful in their 
resentment ; who would not shrink at their approach ? 
Again, behold them captured and confined. Where 
now their elasticity of limb ? Where the penetrating 
flash of their eyes ? Where their indescribable dig- 
nity and daring which excite astonishment and alarm ? 
Gone — gone like the foaming torrent of the thunder 
cloud which, having wasted its force upon the 
wrinkled brow, and the furrowed cheeks of the 
hoary-headed mountain, loses itself in the almost in- 
visible tract of the trickling rill ! Similar, alas, 
would be the fate of thousands of the productions of 
our northern bards, and of many of our lowland 
poets too, were their wild effusions trammelled with 
the benumbing influence of such common-place 
materials as paper, pen, and ink. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 149 

But the charms of poesy are not confined to 
the Highlands. Amongst the farmers, peasants, 
villagers, and town's folk of the Lowlands of Scot- 
land, there exist, to my certain knowledge, poetic 
circles, which closely border upon, and indeed 
often intersect one another, in a beautiful and 
harmonious manner. In each circle a minor poet 
keeps guard. Unlike the Gaelic bard, who is 
ever at the nod of a warlike chief, our little poet is 
generally independent of any one, and the observer 
of every one. Like the humble, but active and lively 
redbreast, which watches and catches the noxious 
insects that infest his favourite garden, the minor 
poet detects, and exposes, and satirizes the vices and 
follies of such persons within his circle as are regard- 
less of common decency in their public conduct and 
private character. 

The poet cannot completely extirpate vice in 
the whole range of his circle, no more than our 
little feathered favourite can totally extinguish 
the races of insects and spiders within his twiggy 
haunt, — but still the glare of his poetic torch 
often scares, from the actual commission of folly, 
those whose hearts are not firmly wedded to virtue ; 
while its burning heat scorches the base hypocrite, 
the cowardly miscreant, and the gloomy hearted, 
morose, vindictive knave. Your feelings would be 
ruffled, and your souls disgusted, were I to depict 
in their true colours, and deformed proportions, the 
crimes which are prevented from degrading society 



150 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

by the vigilance, the candour, the out-speaking, 
honesty of the minor poets. 

But it is not only in this negative point of 
view as regards virtue, this preventive service as 
regards vice — that I would persuade you more 
especially to admire the minor poets. Their ac- 
tive exertions to benefit society are innumer- 
able. However insignificant these exertions in- 
dividually may appear, they, in the aggregate, 
are immensely important: important as are the 
accumulated particles of corn to the industrious 
husbandman ; and although each particle of itself 
may, to the thoughtless observer, appear of little 
value, yet how bare would be the farmer's stack- 
yard! how empty his granary! were each of the 
enamelled particles we call corn left uncollected in 
the field, because singly the value of each seemed 
incalculably diminutive ! And here may I be 
allowed to follow out the figure, and compare the 
great poets of ancient and modern times to the 
splendid fruit trees of the orchard and garden, which 
are planted, and reared, and pruned, and protected, 
by the wealthy, the luxurious, the noble ; and which, 
although rendered strikingly grand by their magnitude 
and produce, are, notwithstanding, of far less use to, 
and far less used by, mankind, than the humble 
stalks of grain, to which the minors may be likened, 
that crowd our fields, grow up, yield their fruit, and 
die in a season ; and which, although generally dis- 
regarded by all the superficial admirers of Nature, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 151 

are highly prized by those whose subsistence depends 
upon them. 

But the philosopher, who ponders with ecstatic 
delight upon Nature's works and ways, traces and 
discerns the same bright display of grandeur and 
benevolence in the field of yellow corn, as in the vast 
concave expanse of sparkling worlds which surround 
our little orb of earth. Moreover, while the delicious 
and expensive fruits of warm climates and rich 
soils are like the great poets, enjoyed and admired 
only by a privileged few, the minor poets, on the 
contrary, are like the humbler fruits, — the currants, 
rasps, gooseberries, &c, — which, on account of their 
abundant profusion, their vulgar commonness, their 
cheapness, their rapid growth and easy cultivation 
on all kinds of soil, little esteemed by the exalted 
few, are, nevertheless, to the great mass of mankind, 
most refreshing, exhilarating, and invariably medi- 
cinal in their qualities. Prickles, no doubt, accom- 
pany some sorts of minor fruits, as evils of various 
kinds attend some of the productions of the minor 
poets, but these are not for a moment to be put in 
comparison with, or detract from, their general 
utility. The vulgar crab which grows on our 
hedges is the admiration of those who cannot witness 
the progress and perfection of the apple, and its 
half-ripe fruit greedily climbed for, and devoured 
with delight by the rustic school-boy, who never has 
access to garden or orchard. 

Look also at the beautiful comparison and 



152 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

contrast afforded of the minor and major poets, 
by the different classes of flowers. The minors 
are like the flowers of our hills and our mea- 
dows : the daisy, the primrose, the blue-bell, the 
forget-me-not, the butter-cup, the wild rose, the 
thistle, the foxglove, the heather, and thousands of 
other little favourites ; whilst the majors resemble 
the magnificent dahlias, holly hoks, &c, &c, which 
are cultivated with the most attentive care in the 
parterres of the rich and the great. None, however 
ignorant and stupid, can look upon the latter with- 
out astonishment and praise ; but not less satisfac- 
tory and enduring are the mental sensations of 
delight experienced by those who carefully ponder 
upon nature's numberless uncultivated beauties. 

It has been an acknowledged fact since the days of 
Solomon, that mirth, and fun, and laughter are of in- 
calculable benefit to individuals as well as to society 
at large. We are often struck with astonishment and 
awe at the grand conceptions, the sublime thoughts, 
and the splendid language of the great poets of ancient 
and modern times, but the little poets raise the laugh, 
the joke, the innocent frolicsome mirth — the every day 
amusements which enliven and humanise the world, 
and of which every class of mankind joyfully parti- 
cipates. From infancy to old age, man is amused and 
delighted with the metrical proverbs, and the whim- 
sical rhymes, so common in all countries. If I durst 
venture an opinion regarding the beneficial tendency 
of laughter, in a medical point of view, I would state 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 153 

that the beneficial excitement produced by the poetry 
of our minors is incalculably great, equal, at least, to 
the success of any description of medicine to which 
universal cures may have been attributed. I have 
known headaches, toothaches, colds, and various 
other ills that life is heir to, removed or alleviated by 
the judicious application of a droll or whimsical ex- 
tract from some hitherto unheard-of rhymer. I have 
even known the peace of a whole neighbourhood pre- 
served, and a most annoying law suit prevented, by 
the well-timed, humorous satire of a minor poet. 

The productions of the minor poets are especially 
interesting, because often proceeding from unex- 
pected quarters. The exercise of their roaming 
imaginations often lead their souls into the happy 
regions of liberty and independence, which, however 
illusory, excite them to attempt, by language at 
least, to burst the bonds by which superstition and 
hypocrisy have always beclouded and enthralled 
the human mind ; and the stronger chains by which 
despotism has in every age compelled the masses of 
mankind to honour, obey, support, and fight for the 
bitterest enemies of their happiness. Their new 
notions of freedom and its blessings arouse atten- 
tion, attract admiration, and sooner or later make 
converts sufficiently numerous and influential, as 
peacefully to realize their enjoyment. Thus the 
minor poets may be classed with the brightest patri- 
ots and best benefactors of the human family. 

1840. 



154 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



ODE TO FICTION. 

Fiction, thou ocean fathomless, from whence 
The soul obtains immeasurable draughts 
Of sweet, sublimest nectar : awake, asleep, 
She dips incessantly imagination's goblet ; 
Lifts to her lips the nourishment luxurious, 
And freely quaffs, and deeply dips again. 
In thee the youthful Lover finds delight 
And soul-inspiring rapture ; and from thee, 
Cloth' d with angelic attributes, comes forth 
The loved, adored, and cherished of his heart. 
Thou send'st the Enthusiast food for his wild zeal, 
The Preacher, crowds of hypocritic converts. 
By thee the Warrior conquers every foe, 
Wins fields of glory bright, and fame interminable. 
Thou load'st with riches greedy traffic's fleets. 
To thee the Poet looks for lasting praise. 
In thee the basest man expects felicity, 
And twice ten thousand creeds have fixed their hea- 
ven. 
Whoever boasts that he nought owes to Fiction, 
Has an insensate soul which never tasted joy. 

1855. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 155 



CONSISTENCY. 

Oft have I stared, " amazed and curious," 
At mankind's lives and actions various. 
All other tribes of creatures know 
A beaten path in which to go, 
And by their instincts so directed, 
Seldom in error are detected. 
Birds, beasts, fish, insects know right well 
Where Nature wishes them to dwell, 
And always feel sincere content 
Within their proper element. 
But Man, unruly Man, is ne'er 
Content in any Earthly sphere. 
No law — although from Heaven sent down- 
Can guide him — no, not ev'n his own ! 

1855. 



PHILOSOPHIC MUSINGS. 

Philosophers, who have deeply investigated and 
carefully studied the works of Nature, seem disposed 
to conclude that Organization and Development are 
the fundamental requisites of Life and Happiness, 
and, consequently, that animation is most perfect in 
beings of the finest construction and proportions, and 
felicity the most exquisite participated in by those 
whose faculties are most numerous, most susceptible 
of expansion, most extensive in their range, and 



156 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

most accurately directed to their proper objects of 
gratification. If this be a correct view of the con- 
dition of the sentient inhabitants of our globe, it 
furnishes a ready key to unravel many a mystery, 
and holds out to rational beings the most urgent 
inducements vigorously to attempt the individual 
and social elevation of the species. While to en- 
courage our exertions in this by far the most valu- 
able of all human projects, and ultimately to crown 
it with success, a great and all-powerful ally, of 
Nature's own providing, comes to our aid — viz., the 
principle of Imitation — which, when fully excited, 
invariably produces Assimilation. This aiding 
principle to mankind's improvement may be, and 
often has been, aroused to such a pitch of energy in 
an elevated direction, that it has carried its subjects 
far above and beyond the original standards of ex- 
cellence aimed at ; and this single fact constitutes 
one of the main props on which rest all our hopes 
for increasing the comforts and advancing the happi- 
ness of the human family, Who can now set limits 
to the progress of mankind towards perfection, after 
witnessing the immense strides which have been 
made in a forward and upward course within the 
short period of the sojourn of the existing genera- 
tion ? What has Agriculture done for fertilizing the 
soil, and swelling, out of their original insignificance, 
many of its vegetable and animal productions ? What 
has Navigation done by introducing to one another's 
acquaintance all the different and far distant tribes 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 157 

of men, and causing the redundancy of the produc- 
tions of some nations to supply the deficiency of 
others ? What has the Miner done for the comfort, 
convenience, and ease of humanity, by raising fuel 
and furnishing metals, without which there could be 
no substantial mechanical instruments or machinery ? 
And what has Machinery, combined with Chemistry, 
done to alleviate the labours of the sons of toil, and 
to produce* with incalculable despatch, and inimi- 
table beauty, almost every kind of useful and orna- 
mental goods ? And what has Machinery, in con- 
nexion with Steam and Electricity, done to increase 
the rapidity and certainty of commercial and social 
intercourse by land and by water, and to transmit 
telegraphic intelligence with the speed of a sunbeam ? 
And what enlightenment upon religion, morality, 
and general knowledge has been extensively diffused, 
amongst all grades of society, by every means which 
philanthropy could devise ? 

An existing philosopher has lately affirmed that 
nature acts with parsimonious economy in providing 
materials for all her contemplated operations. My 
observations lead me to a contrary conclusion : and 
could I, with sufficient clearness , exhibit the ample 
array of materials which are in a state of readiness 
for some great upheaving of humanity, none who look 
upon them could doubt that a rich redundancy from 
the Creator's storehouse is soon to be lavished upon 
the glorious enterprise of mankind's improvement and 
happiness. Already the wisdom of the people of 



158 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Great Britain has prompted them to ten thousand 
appliances, which are brought into vigorous operation 
by the combined efforts of individuals for their own 
and the general benefit of the species. Associations 
have been formed to effect every conceivable good, and 
to prevent or alleviate every imaginable evil. Asso- 
ciations exist which make amends for the ravages of 
the devouring flames, the tempest's fury, and death 
itself. Associations for the universal diffusion of arts, 
science, literature, and religion — for the promotion of 
peace and the extinction of war — to extirpate every 
kind of vice and to reclaim the most vicious — to re- 
lieve the afflicted — to restrain the tyrant — to rescue 
the slave — to provide work and wages for the unem- 
ployed — to effect the complete freedom of international 
traffic. Associations with unprecedented wealth are 
multiplying to compress, by means of railways and 
steam-boats, all portions of the British Isles into one 
grand co-operative community of industry and enjoy- 
ment. Our cities, towns, villages, seas, harbours, 
rivers, mines, gardens, granaries, dairies, flocks, fish- 
eries, and forests — our agriculturists, manufacturers, 
merchants, and consumers — our philosophers, teach- 
ers, and students — our rulers and the ruled — must all 
soon be united by rapid and easy modes of communi- 
cation into one harmonious whole, and, forgetting 
political animosities and religious feuds, every class 
will cheerfully and enthusiastically merge as into one 
family, for the effectual promotion of the prosperity 
and happiness of all. When this blending of feelings 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



159 



and interests takes place, and produces the antici- 
pated results, other nations will unquestionably imi- 
tate us and do likewise. Already the greatest 
monarchs on earth have come to look at, to examine. 
to admire, and to copy our preliminary efforts — by- 
and-by Britain will become the model of perfection 
to all nations. Who does not feel animated and 
elevated by such anticipations, and exclaim, — 

a The wide, the unbounded prospect lies before me. 
No shadows, clouds, or darkness, rest upon it." 

What now is wanted in the present generation but 
the ambition, the courage, the determination to rise 
and to soar, in regions of excellence and felicity, far 
above all former generations ? Now, it will be seen 
that those classes of mankind who bring prominently 
into view, and are suitably impressed with, proper 
objects of Imitation, shall speedily become better and 
happier than they have hitherto been, and go on to- 
wards perfection till the end of time ; while those 
who continue to resist and repel the brightest exam- 
ples of excellence that can be pressed upon their 
imitative faculties, must, though with pity and regret, 
be expelled from good society, and left to their down- 
ward fate. But an effort is necessary to be made by 
every one who would aid in accomplishing the grand 
realization ; and although few can do a great thing, 
every one may at least do something, or encourage 
others in their ways ot well-doing. Fortunately for 
the great mass of individuals (as all history attests), 



160 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

" Great events from little causes spring." Why, 
therefore, may not the humblest try to climb to emi- 
nence? and begin by shaking off sloth, and renounc- 
ing evil habits — especially Intemperance, that 
national curse. The general relinquishment of 
Intemperance would soon enable thousands, ay 
millions, who now riot in rags, to clothe themselves 
and families comfortably and elegantly — to have 
clean and warm beds, and plenty of wholesome and 
palatable food — to get their children educated, and 
taught to imitate and to emulate their parents' 
example — and thus generation after generation pro- 
gress onwards to as perfect a condition as humanity 
can attain. 

Is this not practicable ? Is it but a dream ? Is it 
nothing more than an U topian flight of fancy ? If 
Man is a Rational Being, as he pretends to be, and 
as I believe him to be, then what I predict must 
sooner or later be literally fulfilled. 

Gladly have I hailed, of late years, the dawn of 
general improvement, and hope yet to see its 
meridian splendour ; and, at the risk of being accused 
of selfishness, I must remark, that nothing gives an 
individual, or a community, a more graceful appear- 
ance than good clothing. Who does not respect a 
well-dressed person, and despise one who is not? 
And who is there without suitable clothes who might 
not have them, but for vice in some quarter misap- 
propriating Heaven's bounty ? When will the 
victory of virtue over vice — right over wrong — happi- 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 



161 



ness over misery — be accomplished and proclaimed ? 
While every province of the vegetable, animal, and 
mineral kingdoms are strewing their treasures at our 
feet, why should not every one be well clothed? 
Nature has enough and to spare for all. How 
admirably dressed are all the other orders of creation 
with which we are acquainted; and is Man, the 
acknowledged lord of them all, to have many mem- 
bers of his family worse clad than beasts, birds, 
fishes, insects, and flowers ? 

If these sentiments which I have ventured to 
inculcate, be read, appreciated, and acted on, by 
those for whose benefit they are intended, my native 
county will once more lead the van, as she has often 
done, in our onward march to national glory and 
greatness ; and then I shall have my reward. 

12th March, 1846. 



ON SALLY. 



When on the clumsy iron bar 
Two brawny smiths engage in war, 
Their massy hammers loud rebound, 
The anvil joins a piercing sound ; 
But louder far the echoes flew 
When armies fought on Waterloo ; 
Still higher strains the tempests raise 
Against the rock's resounding base. 



162 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Yet these the traveller must compare 

To sounds of China's painted ware, 

When in Columbia's forests tall 

The lofty pines around him fall ; 

Struck by the vivid flash they reel, 

And o'er his head the thunders peal. 

Or while from Etna's awful brow 

The melting rocks in torrents flow, 

He hears the earth's tremendous groans, 

And dreadful showers of flaming stones ; 

Grandly terrific ! this exceeds 

What else from Nature's voice proceeds. 

But, hark ! ye listening youths, and tremble, 

(Abhor the thought : can I dissemble) 

Were I to sound due praise to Sally, 

The thundering powers must round me rally, 

And Etna's bellowing bowels join, 

And tempests raise their voice with mine, 

Armies in death's keen struggles meet, 

And Highland heroes Frenchmen greet ; 

Hammers and anvils lend their notes 

And all in concert swell our throats. 

Her tender heart first claims my praise, 

'Tis form'd for love, and virtue's ways ; 

Happy's the youth, and highly blest 

To whom she oft has love confest. 

No flaming vulgar colours glow 

Upon her cheeks of virgin snow ; 

Her face and neck and breast so white, 

Sure angel form ne'er shone so bright. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 163 

Nor e'er can sparkling diamonds vie 
With dazzling glances of her eye ; 
Nor raven's glossy wing compare 
With jetty tresses of her hair. 
A form like her's no Grecian knew, 
Nor modern artist ever drew 
So fine a form, a face, and mind, 
Were ne'er by Nature's hand combin'd. 

1819. 



NATURAL HISTORY. 

Natural History depends upon facts which are 
open to the inspection of every one who has time 
and opportunity to examine them. I intended to 
devote part of my attention this summer to the 
natural history of that singular bird the Cuckoo; 
but finding that the season has imperceptibly pass- 
ed away without making any addition to my know- 
ledge of that bird, I now beg leave to communicate 
a few facts respecting it, which I acquired by obser- 
vation, intermixed with others, which I have from 
the most authentic sources. 

Cuckoos arrive in Britain in the middle of April, 
and leave it in the first week of July. Unlike all 
other birds in this country, they neither associate in 
pairs, nor build nests, but entrust the hatching of 
their eggs, and the rearing of their young, to a variety 
of small birds, viz., the Tit-lark, the Hedge-sparrow, 



164 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

the Water- wag-tail, the Green Linnet, the Yellow 
Hammer, and the Whinchat. Although a female 
Cuckoo probably lays more than twenty eggs in a 
season, she generally deposits only one in any nest, 
because when the young one is hatched, it grows so 
rapidly that in a short time it requires the whole nest 
for its accommodation. In a few hours after a young 
cuckoo is hatched, which generally happens at the 
same time as its foster parent's young, it sets to work, 
although blind and naked, and with all possible dili- 
gence, tumbles every one of its neighbour nestlings 
out of the nest. This curious phenomenon I once 
witnessed in the case of the Tit-lark's young. I re- 
placed them in the nest, but the young cuckoo 
resolutely turned them out again. The nestlings and 
unhatched eggs of other birds which have cuckoos 
in their nests, universally suffer the same fate. It 
sometimes happens that two cuckoos are hatched in 
the same nest. When this is the case one of them 
must inevitably perish ; for immediately on leaving 
their shells a contest for the sole possession of the 
nest ensues, in which, as in all other trials of strength, 
the most powerful ultimately prevails. The struggle 
sometimes lasts a day or two, such is their obstin- 
acy. 

Young Cuckoos generally continue three weeks in 
the nest, and are fed five weeks longer by the foster- 
parents. They are sometimes so large before they 
can provide for themselves, that the little birds which 
attend them are obliged to perch on their backs or 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 165 

half-expanded wings, in order to obtain sufficient 
elevation to feed them. 

It seems strange, that the small birds which nurse 
the young Cuckoos should be so deprived of natural 
affection as to permit their own young to perish in 
such great numbers, as about four for every young 
Cuckoo which is reared. But Nature permits 
nothing to occur without answering some good end. 
At the season of the year when there is such a des- 
truction among the young birds, there are tribes of 
young and tender quadrupeds and reptiles, such 
as mice, weasels, rats, snails, &c, seeking food about 
hedges, to which the delicate nestlings turned out by 
the Cuckoo are excellent nourishment. This is 
quite consistent with the ordinary course of Provi- 
dence, as a great proportion of birds, beasts, and 
fishes support their existence by depriving smaller 
and weaker creatures of life. 



TO ELIZA. 

Through all nature my fancy has wander'd in vain 

To discover an emblem of thee, 
Not on earth — in the air — on the wide starry plain, 
On the trees of the forest, or waves of the main, 

Such an object of beauty I see. 

Should I back to old Eden's sweet groves trace my 
way, 
And them plunder and rob of their store ; 



166 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

All their fair tinted flowers, and blossoms so gay, 
Although joined in one posey, could beauty display 
Like thing ; thou maid I adore. 

If the miser who totters in ragged attire, 

Had only one glance of thy charms, 
No longer his silver or gold he'd admire, 
But his bosom would glow with celestial fire, 

"Which every vile passion disarms. 

For a fair but false woman the Trojans long fought, 

Till their city in ashes lay low; 
But like thee had a virgin before them been brought, 
No longer the safety of Helen they'd sought, 

Nor the spear, or bright javelin throw. 

From Persia's Great King an Ambassador came 

To visit our free happy isle ; 
If thy face he had seen, his Circassian dame,* 
(Tho' exalted her praise, and extended her fame,) 

No longer his heart could beguile. 

Though thy beauty's enchanting, thy virtue and 
worth 
Far surpass ev'ry praise I can give, 
And thy kind gen'rous soul, and thy pure prudent 

mirth, 
And thy hands tireless toils of industry show forth, 
That in one joy and virtue can live. 

1819. 

* A highly celebrated beauty of that time. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 167 



HINTS ON THE WORTH OF LIFE. 

Every one is not born to be a philosopher, but 
every one who is born with ordinary powers of mind, 
has, in this country at least, the opportunity of being 
wise. We are not under the necessity of placing 
ourselves at the feet of great philosophers, or toiling 
through large manuscript volumes, like the ancients, 
in order to attain wisdom : for her lessons are now 
so numerous, and so easily acquired, that we begin 
to despise them as almost quite unnecessary. Our 
parents instruct us in the knowledge of religious 
truths, much superior to what the wisest ancient 
Greeks could teach ; and in all our towns, and even 
smallest villages, there are public teachers of true 
religion, and the purest wisdom, who weekly pour 
forth their invaluable knowledge in the most pathetic 
discourses. Books in great profusion, upon every 
subject, are within our reach. But what do all these 
privileges avail us ? Nothing ! The stream of vice 
seems to increase with rapidity, and down it float the 
majority of our youth, singing, 

" This life's a jest, and all things shew it, 
I thought so once, but now I know it." 

But with all due deference to the admirers of these 
lines, and due respect to the memory of their " GAY " 



168 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

author, (on whose bust, m Westminster Poets' corner, 
they are still legible,) I take the liberty of affirming, 
that they 'are very far from containing a true de- 
scription of life. 

This life is a very important possession. Its 
influences upon, and consequences in, a future 
state of existence, forbid its being denominated a 
Jest But, without considering the incalculable im- 
portance of the present life, as connected with a 
future, there are various motives sufficient to induce 
us to speak and act on all occasions with the greatest 
caution. 

Every man wishes to be esteemed by those who 
know him, and it is much to be regretted that this 
principle is not stronger ; but respectability of charac- 
ter is attainable only by correct circumspection of 
behaviour. Happiness, too, is the desire of every one, 
and the main object of every one's pursuit ; but few 
are happy, because there are only few who live in a 
manner consistent with true happiness. Now, if 
men would weigh in their minds the produce, if I 
may so name the daily results of folly and wisdom, 
and compare the trifling delusive pleasure, or rather 
dreams, of the one mode of life, with the satisfactory, 
solid, and lasting enjoyments of the other, they would 
not surely for one moment hesitate in their choice. 
But it is a melancholy truth, that few, very few, de- 
liberate or think at all about the best way of spending 
time, or the most correct rules of life. The multi- 
tude are guided by custom in their outward conduct, 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 169 

and by inclination and chance (as we call the 
absence of principle), in respect to religion and 
morality. 

Men must first know the value of time, before 
they properly improve it ; and its value to individuals 
is known only by the useful things which each may 
accomplish in his own particular sphere. The 
labourer, for example, is not able, nor is he expected, 
to perform many and great deeds of charity ; but if 
by persevering industry, and carefully refraining from 
spending his wages unnecessarily, (as by drinking, 
&c.) he can support a wife and rear a virtuous family, 
he is justly considered a worthy member of society, 
and an ornament to his country. 

The duties of life vary considerably with the dif- 
ference of rank ; but the disproportion of income 
makes a vast difference in individual responsibility. 
He whose income is double his expenditure, ought to 
be kind and bountiful to his poor and ignorant neigh- 
bours ; and beneficent to the savage inhabitants of 
distant countries, by giving liberally to those societies 
which have undertaken to civilise, and to instruct 
them in the Christian religion. It is true that every 
person cannot perform great and good actions every 
hour of life ; but is it not evident from revelation 
and the light of nature, that our minds should be 
constantly fixed on the advancement of the virtue and 
happiness, not only of ourselves and families, but of 
the whole human race ? We therefore ought to im- 
prove our time and talents with these objects in view, 



170 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

and take advantage of every opportunity which occurs 
to accomplish them; for, as "Waller sings, — 

" Circles are prais'd not that abound 
In largeness, but th' exactly round ; 
So life we praise which does excel, 
Not in much time, but acting welL" 

April 22d, 1850. 



ON JANET. 

Daft fools may sing o' beauty's charms, 
And knaves may snatch at riches, 

But gie me Janet to my arms, 
! she my heart bewitches. 

She's beauty plenty, and for cash 

I canna say she's scant o't, 
But nought care I 'bout beauty's dash, 

For cash — I'm no in want o't. 

My Janet has a sonsy heart, 

And merry jocund spirit, 
And twa guid nieves, I trow right smart, 

That ne'er at wark were weary't. 

Tho' music, dancing, gaudy dress, 
May please the lug and een ay, 

Yet pretty misses must confess 
They ne'er keep kitchen bein ay. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 171 

The flirts that skip about the town. 

And scorn to be industrious. 
May trembling fear snell fortune's frown, 

" And dread the day disastrous." 

What's every fine accomplishment, 
When heart and hauns are wanted ? 

Faith, starving bairns are no content, 
Till scones and claes are granted. 

But Janet baith can dress and shine, 

And skip and dance fu' neatly, 
And speak, and beck, like lady fine, 

Or housewife act completely. 

may she wha inspires my sang 

Soon be mine ain fu' canty ; 
Nae mair I'll ca' the e'enings lang, 

Nor lie my lane and gaunt ay. 

1819. 



BURNS'S RESPONSE TO HIS BIRTH-DAY 
ADDRESS AT PAGE EIGHTY-FOUR. 

In bless' d abodes where lofty spirits dwell, 
And hymns of joy from 'raptured myriads swell, 
Burns stood ; — a guardian angel at his side, 
And looking down his Birth-day Ode espied. 

His wing'd companion caught his wistful gaze, 
And to his musing master thus he says : — 



172 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

" Why, Sir, with kindly eye on Earth look down ? 
" I thought that orb from thee deserved a frown ; 
" But Heaven thou knowest forbids that vengeance 

e'er 
" Should stir the soul of any inmate here. 
" If thou a friendly message wish conveyed, 
" Bid me — and quick as thought thy will's obeyed." 

" Yes," Burns replied, " wilt thou descend and 
tell 
" That here my joy all earthly joys excel, 
" Still 'tis my wish that Ayrshire bless'd may be, 
" And nought can raise her more than poetry : 
" Stoutly I struggled to illume her soul, 
" And wrest it from despotic priests' controul : 
" My success great — and grateful has she been, 
" As mark the Pile on Doon, thou oft has seen. 
" Tell her that while I thank her for applause, 
" I'm not the only champion in her cause : 
" One minstrel sings, who follows in my wake, 
" List to his lays — if only for my sake. 
" He, yet a babe when I from Earth took flight, 
" Now shines forth in poetic armour bright ; 
" My mantle o'er him long ago I threw, 
" His scatter'd leaves attest the fact as true. 
" I now observe him gath'ring up in store 
" Those wide-cast gems of literary lore, 
" Which have attention drawn, esteem secured, 
" And num'rous minds to sweet improvement lured. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 173 

" His little book age after age shall scan — * 

" Applaud the poet, but forget the man. 

" His hoary head in course of nature must 

" Soon sink and find repose with Mother Dust ; 

" His spirit wend its flight from your dark sphere, 

" To be by me and angels welcom'd here." 

The angel smiling — " Pray, Sir, wilt thou name 
" To whom the message I must now proclaim V 
Burns promptly answered — " Yonder, see him sit, 
" Who penn'd my Ode with true poetic wit.' 7 

Swift as a sunbeam down the angel sped, 
His brilliant wings o'er the horizon spread ; 
Invisible to mortal ken he flew, 
Except to the inspir'd, enlightened few ; 
And in mine ear, in gentle whispers, told 
What Burns in Heaven desired him to unfold. 

December, 1855. 



PURE HYPOCRISY. 

I am a practical patriot, whose labours have been 
of great advantage to society ; but of late, certain 
calumniators have endeavoured, by the vilest asper- 
sions, to ruin my character, and to prevent my 
usefulness. I therefore beg permission to vindicate 
and establish my good name, and to prove myself a 
better man than my enemies. In order to accom- 
plish these very important purposes, I shall, with 



174 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

great honesty and plainness, lay before you the 
fundamental principles upon which my character is 
built, and on which its excellence depends ; and in 
doing so shall, I have no doubt, convince the public 
of my inviolable uprightness. 

I am accused of being a revealer of secrets, a 
malicious slanderer, a tale-bearer, a cowardly flat- 
terer, and a formal professor of religion : — but no one 
has ventured to blame me with highway robbery, 
assault, or battery, a propensity to duelling, or the 
vengeful gratification of any vindictive passion. 
Thanks to my stars, a certain great law of Nature 
has effectually prevented me from the commission of 
these crimes ; and that I am equally clear of the list 
charged against me, I proceed to shew — 

lstly.— I am not a " revealer of secrets." When I 
meet with an acquaintance who rouses my curiosity, 
by hinting at some interesting private anecdote, which 
he seems unwilling to relate ; I, in order to get it out 
of him, give him an honest stare in the face, and as- 
sure him that he never found me a traitor. This con- 
duct and a friendly profession or two, generally pro- 
duces the necessary disclosure. I like news — domestic 
news — with all my heart; but news, you know, 
answer no good purpose until they are published. I 
therefore, from a pure wish to benefit the public, as 
well as to give vent to the overflowings of my heart, 
make it a duty of conscience to give to the world 
every sort of information I am able to acquire. I 
thus add largely to the circulating useful knowledge 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 175 

of the community, and consider myself deserving the 
highest praise instead of censure and reproach, 

2ndly. — I am no " malicious slanderer." When I 
know a man to be a bad man, am I not justified in 
describing his true character to everybody who knows 
him, in order that they may be on their guard 
against him. Herein I think myself a phi- 
lanthropist, not only to the public, but to the 
individual whom I cause the public to beware of, as 
it prevents him from increasing his criminality. And 
who can justly blame me, although his business de- 
crease by my assiduity? You know that it is a 
sound political maxim to sacrifice private interest to 
public advantage. 

3rdly. — I am not "a talebearer." If one person 
tells me a dishonourable thing of another person, I, 
as a judge in the case, am anxious to ascertain both 
sides of the story: — for every story has two sides, 
Accordingly I embrace the first opportunity of calmly 
communicating what I have heard to the person 
accused; who, without scruple, gives me his account 
of the affair. If this does not satisfy my mind, I 
revert to my first informant, and by disclosing what 
I have heard contradictory to his narrative, never 
fail in stirring up all his eloquence to give me his story 
and arguments complete. I thus obtain a great mass 
of enlivening and instructive knowledge, which I 
gratuitously circulate pro bono publico ; and for this 
I am repaid with the title of " talebearer," by certain 
ungrateful miscreants. 



176 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

4thly. — I am not a " cowardly flatterer." If any 
man, upon which my business partially depends, has 
taken offence at any of my patriotic exertions, in 
which his name was mentioned, I, in justice to my- 
self, and in obedience to the Christian precept which 
says, "live at peace with all men," endeavour by 
every means in my power to pacify him ; and thanks 
to my calm dispassionate manners, I have never been 
unsuccessful in attempts of this kind. I am not one 
of those fool-hardy blusterers, who tell a man to his 
face all the ill they have to say of him. I dislike, 
nay abhor, all such impolite confronting measures ; 
but admire and practice the sweet insinuating arts 
which are conducive to peace and tranquillity. '* A 
soft answer turneth away wrath," as Solomon says, 
and who can blame me for obeying the Bible ? 

5thly. — I am not " a formal professor of religion.'' 
Those who blame me with formality forget that pru- 
dence is my ruling principle ; and you know that 
every prudent, sensible man must necessarily be sin- 
cerely religious, when religion is fashionable. 
Besides, I am convinced of the propriety of 
countenancing religion, it is such a good thing 
for keeping the lower ranks in due subordi- 
nation. For the arguments deducible from the 
following incontestible facts, fully demonstrate, that 
I am a very good Christian : — I believe the Bible, — 
go to church twice in two months at least, — never 
get drunk on a Sunday above six times per annum, — 
never utter an oath, except in cursing my servant ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 177 

only perhaps three or four times a day. "When I 
have company at dinner, I never neglect to mutter a 
blessing of at least five words in length, with Amen 
at the end of them. My gifts to the poor amount to 
no less than one penny per week — few give more, — 
and I annually subscribe Five Shillings to the Bible 
Society. My veracity ought to be proverbial, for I 
never tell a fib when the truth will answer my pur- 
pose. Whosoever therefore denies the orthodoxy of 
my faith, or the purity of my practice, is himself di- 
vested of Christian charity, and on that account not 
so good a member of society as I am ; for I tolerate 
the religion of every man who does not cheat, steal, 
rob, or otherwise break the peace by his wicked- 
ness. 

Having thus vindicated my character from the 
gross calumnies which the envious and malicious 
have been industriously circulating against me; I 
conclude by assuring you that I am your most 
humble obedient servant. 

20th November, 1820. 



TO MISS M H- 



The north polar Star claims the mariner's praise, 
For it guides by attraction, and guides by its rays ; 
The gallant war ship, or the fisherman's bark, 
Without it would perish alike in the dark. 



178 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Thou art too a Star most bright, 

Brilliant as the orb of day, 
Shedding rays of pure delight, 

Ever shining, ever gay. 

Winning by thy sweet attractions 
Hearts which never felt love's flame ; 

Bousing to the noblest actions 
Youths who only hear thy fame, 

Without thy soft smiles, or a glance of thine eye, 
This heart, which adores thee, would languish- 
would die. 
Are not our hearts one? then I've nothing to fear 
Altho' rivals unnumber'd still crowd on my rear. 

Eivals I have great and many, 

(Who would prize what's easy won ?) 

Boldly striving each to gain thee, 
Let them strive — my task is done. 

True, the needle's to the pole 

When 'tis sunshine, calm at sea, 
True, when waves like mountains roll, 

So, my love, my heart's to thee. 

22nd February, 1820. 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 179 



FATAL SABBATH DESECRATION. 

About fifteen years ago, a tailor named William 
Sutherland, with his wife and four or five children, 
inhabited a cottage in the village of Uplaw-moor. 
This tailor was a good cutter — a good stitcher — 
well employed — well paid — always disappointed his 
customers — and was always in poverty. This was 
his character as a tailor, but as a man, he might 
be a man of honour for anything I know ; 1 knew 
him only as a tailor, and I knew him well as such ; 
for he was my father's tailor, my brother's tailor, and 
my own tailor. Besides a knowledge of the sublime 
mysteries of his profession, he had obtained, I sup- 
posed by natural instinct, such a correct knowledge 
of politics as to be able to talk with confidence on the 
momentous topics of invasion, devastation, extirpa- 
tion, which Buonaparte then threatened our nation 
with. There is undoubtedly a striking analogy 
between stitching two pieces of cloth together, and 
uniting in the bonds of peace two discordant king- 
doms, as Britain and France were in those days. 
This observation may partly account for the wisdom 
of a plan which the Uplaw-moor tailor had in view, 
for terminating all our hostilities with France, viz. : 
—giving one of our King's daughters in marriage to 
Bonaparte, although they should both go to the d — 1 
(as he politely expressed himself). But if our nation 
was not benefited by this most admirable project, its 



180 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

interests, I have no doubt, were greatly promoted by 
the efficient assistance which our army would receive 
from an apprentice of his named Ross Bain, who 
preferred fighting his country's battles to remaining 
with his master, and enduring his tyranny. 

One Sabbath morning, in the winter of 1805-6, 
as William Sutherland and a few of his associates 
were walking on the banks of Loch Libo, they hap- 
pened to discover a useful kind of down, which a cer- 
tain plant growing near that loch produces. They 
gathered a quantity of this article, and thinking 
that it would repay their trouble to spend the day 
in gathering more, they hastened home to break- 
fast, which having speedily devoured, they posted 
back to their unhallowed toil. The scene of their 
labour was on the opposite side of the loch to that 
in which U plaw-moor stands ; and although it was 
covered with ice, yet as there had been only one 
night's severe frost, they preferred going round the 
loch to venturing on the ice. The tailor's eldest 
son, a boy about ten years of age, though forbid- 
den to accompany the party, took the liberty of 
following, but at a very respectful distance, lest 
his father should administer a certain prescription, 
famous for its efficacy on disobedient children, and 
well known in that district by name of Oil of Hazel. 
The boy reached the near side of the loch about 
the time his father and companions regained their 
former station on the opposite bank. The father 
observing his son's obstinate anxiety to join the 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 181 

party, cried to him to come over on the ice, and 
take off his shoes, lest he should fall; the boy- 
obeyed, but before he could reach the other side his 
feet became chilled, and he stopped and cried. His 
father imperiously commanded him to proceed, and 
proposed going on the ice to meet and chastise him. 
His associates remonstrated against the dangerous 
experiment — he despised their advice — stept upon 
the crackling, bending ice — moved on, denouncing 
curses upon his trembling boy : — they met, they 
sank ! they appeared and re-appeared clasped in each 
other's arms, and shrieking for help, but none was 
near ; they therefore sank to rise no more ! The 
thunderstruck spectators could not render them the 
least assistance, though within about twenty yards. 
There was a boat on the loch, but three hours 
elapsed before it could be brought to the place where 
the bodies lay. The corpses were raised without 
difficulty, as the w T ater at that place was only seven 
feet deep ; but the whole party narrowly escaped a 
watery grave, the boat being shattered and leaky. 

The sympathy which the neighbourhood display- 
ed to the widow and orphans deserves to be recorded. 
Mrs. Muir of Caldwell sent them a guinea, on 
the very day on which the melancholy catas- 
trophe took place ; and a considerable sum of 
money was in a few days collected for their benefit 
in the surrounding district. My father, who has 
something of the good Samaritan in his composi- 
tion, was the first who gave them effectual relief. 



182 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

On hearing of their irreparable loss, he despatched 
your humble servant with about four pecks of good 
oatmeal on his shoulders, as he guessed their pantry- 
was not overstocked with that commodity, which was 
very valuable in those days. By these and similar 
acts of Christian kindness, the widow was enabled to 
settle her affairs, and to remove herself and children 
to her native place, which was in the vicinity of 
Edinburgh. 

I am of opinion this faithful narrative requires no 
comments to render it edifying to both sabbath- 
breakers and sabbath-keepers, 

December, 1820. 



CONFESSION OF THE YEAR 1855. 

Poet. — " Old Eighteen Fifty-five, farewell ! 
" Of thy career pray quickly tell ?" 

1855. — " Most anxiously have I looked on 

" Events that now are past and gone : 
" I have seen a bloody strife, 
" Fifty thousand lose their life ; 
" Seen renowned Sebastopol 
" Wrested from the Czar's rule. 

" I've seen a fleet leave Britain's shore, 

" The like was never seen before, 

" Dash up the Baltic with a frown, 

" And swear to smash fierce Cronstadt down ; 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 183 

" Return as pompous as it went, 

" With doing little quite content. 

" Britain once a Nelson had, 

" Compared with Dundas, he was mad ! 

" I have seen the greatest knaves 

« Ever banished o'er the waves, 

" Bankers erst, but felons now — 

" Seen their scantimonious brow ; 

" Every honest man now hates 

" Culprits — Strachan, Paul, and Bates. 

" I have Emperors, Queens, and Kings, 
" (Mankind all adore such things,) 
" Seen in gorgeous pomp arrayed, 
" Each other's capital parade ; 
" Their visits seal with double kiss, 
" Proof of lasting peace and bliss. 

" A swindling murderer I've seen, 

" In Britain ne'er such wretch has been, 

" A loving wife, a brother, friend, 

" (To save whose lives he did pretend,) 

" Basely he with poison killed, 

" That his gaunt coffers might be filled, 

" My pen shall ne'er record his name, 

" Though infamously damned to fame ! 

" What my successor soon may see 
" Predicted shall not be by me, 



184 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

" But this, my earnest, humble prayer, 

" May heaven quench bloodshed's ghastly 

glare, 
" Silence for ever War's alarms, 
" And lovely Peace display her charms." 



TO THE READER. 

Most of people generally desire to know less or more 
of the personal history of the author of any book 
they have satisfactorily perused ; and taking it for 
granted that such of my readers as have arrived at 
this page of my volume are somewhat pleased with 
its contents, I will, in a very few sentences, give a 
bare outline of the career of the author. 

I was born on the farm of Grange, parish of Dun- 
lop, on the morning of the 6th day of November, 
1795. An eminence on the farm is still named 
" Boyd's Hill," in consequence of being the place 
where Sir Thomas Boyd, Lord of Kilmarnock, was 
basely murdered by Sir Alexander Stewart on the 
9th day of July 1439. The assassin's lurking-place 
is still pointed out. 

My education was very limited, not extending over 
(at the most) two full years of time ; but my taste 
for reading was at all times in vigorous exercise — 
" Jack the Giant Killer," and a few of his compeers, be- 
sides the "Pilgrim's Progress" and "Robinson Crusoe/' 
all illustrated with engravings, were my earliest 
favourites. I often heard in those days of a most 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 185 

wonderful book called " Gulliver's Travels," but could 
not command sufficient influence to have it either 
bought or borrowed. 

The Bible, however, formed the wide, deep, and 
never-failing fountain of information to my thirsty 
mind; but I must confess that the irreverent and 
indiscriminate use of the New Testament as a school- 
book kept me for many after years from duly appre- 
ciating its most important announcements. 

I was engaged in daily drudgery, like the sons of 
all the smaller Ayrshire farmers, until the month of 
June 1811, when I engaged myself as an apprentice 
to a Kilmarnock draper, whom I served faithfully 
and zealously for nearly four years. My employer 
indulged me with the luxury of an unlimited supply 
of books out of the Kilmarnock Library : but having 
nobody to guide me in the selection, I wasted many 
an hour upon books that were comparatively worth- 
less. Still I plodded onwards in the pursuit of know- 
ledge, redeeming time by early rising, even in the 
coldest winter mornings. 

I left Kilmarnock to look for a situation in Lon- 
don in the spring of the year 1815. I went by Glas- 
gow and Edinburgh, and set sail from Leith (on 
board the sloop The Ocean, Captain William Nisbet), 
upon the very day the news arrived of Buonaparte's 
landing in France from his little dominions in the 
island of Elba ; and being eight days at sea the news 
of his re-ascension of the imperial throne of France 
had been received in the metropolis before I landed. 



186 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

After a week of wearisome and solitary wander- 
ings on the streets of 'London, I obtained employ- 
ment as a salesman in the now first-rate establish- 
ment of Messrs Swan and Edgar, Piccadilly, then in 
its infancy. Notwithstanding our place of business 
being a small, plain, gloomy, unostentatious shop, 
many of the very highest nobility drove up to our door 
and became liberal purchasers. We conducted sales 
on the most correct moral principles. The great and 
small were charged exactly alike for our goods, and not 
a farthing of abatement was ever allowed upon any 
account however large. I frequently had the honour 
of personally attending to the demands of many of 
the most noble families in the empire ; and more than 
once sold rich goods, and got the money for them, in 
King George the Third's palace of St. James's. 
Many a package have I addressed to the jolly old 
Duke of York, containing goods suited to personages 
moving in his circle of select society. 

When the high hopes of the empire were suddenly 
blasted by the awfully-affecting death of Her Royal 
Highness the Princess Charlotte of Wales (6th 
November 1817)? I had the melancholy honour of per- 
sonally furnishing the royal apothecary (Mr. Brand) 
with the pure white, and royal blue silk into which 
the embalmed body of the deeply-lamented wife of 
Prince Leopold was wrapped. 

I liked London exceedingly, but was destined to 
commence business in Kilmarnock full thirty-eight 
years ago ; and here I continue to do business as a 



AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 187 

Draper on a goodly scale for a provincial town. I have 
had, first and last, a most laborious journey through 
life — amazingly diversified with circumstances both of 
a pleasant and a painful character. Not vanity, but a 
higher motive might induce me (if permitted to enjoy 
health for a few years) to fill up the outline which I 
have thus hastily drawn. I am not quite tired of 
sublunary affairs, although I know that in a very 
short time my accounts with this world must all be 
closed. I have no very great anxiety for posthumous 
fame as an author ; but I do, with the most intense 
faith and joyous hope, anticipate an immortality of 
ever-progressing blessedness, arising out of the inex- 
haustible developments of mind and matter with 
which the unbounded universe is stored. 

HUGH CRAIG. 

February 24, 1856. 



DIRGE. 

The greatest empires e'er this world has seen, 
Have pass'd away, as if they ne'er had been ; 
And envying monarchs who their grandeur aj)'d, 
And trembling kings from conquest wide escap'd, 
And flattering sycophants, and courtly slaves, 
All — all are gone — and who can trace their graves ? 
Such too, of heroes, and of statesmen great, 
And wisest — best — and holiest men — the fate ; 



188 AYRSHIRE ASPIRATIONS. 

Nor skill profound, nor scientific lore, 

Can stay the doom we shun, dread, and deplore. 

A period comes, when works of art decay, 

The Grecian marble statues wear away, 

Egypt's great pyramids, and China's wall — 

Like mole-hills crumbling — bye and bye must fall ; 

The splendid pictures Raphael's pencil drew, 

And Hogarth's droll ones, soon shall perish to. 

Ruin o'ertakes whatever man has made ; 

No wonder, then, that Ruin reaches trade. 

The great commercial Ishmaelites of old, 

Who bought and barter'd slaves and goods for gold, 

With scores of generations since their day, 

Have traded — gained and lost, and died away ; 

And countless cities, far in Eastern climes, 

Have risen, flourished, fallen, — had their times. 

Phoenician — Grecian — Rome's proud merchants have, 

Like all before them, sunk into the grave ; 

And their successors, still as years roll'd on, 

Down to the present age — have come — are gone ! 

On rolls the time when London's merchants shall, 

Despite their wealth and envy'd grandeur, fall, 

And Devastation northward bend its course, 

Till Glasgow's commerce sinks beneath its force — 

Even Ayrshire, too, shall mourn the sweeping plague, 

When dark oblivion overtakes — Hugh Craig. 



finis. 



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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 





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